Eurovision 2009

[23 Daves]

Ah, what the hell... I may as well start the Eurovision 2009 thread since nobody else is going to bother to do so.

To be honest, it seems to be fairly run-of-the-mill pickings this year, with very few genuinely unusual or highly memorable entries, and certainly not any which seem likely to get out of the two semi-final rounds.  Belgium entered an Elvis impersonator this year, and he crashed out at the first hurdle this evening, so won't be seen in the final (despite the fact that I voted for him - presumably nobody else did).  His tune was about a mentally ill man who believes he is the real Elvis and thinks the one he keeps seeing pictures of everywhere has stolen his act.  Nobody cheered much in the live audience, I think they might have got a bit depressed by it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoCrJEqS214

Beyond that, obviously Lloyd Webber has stuck in one of his saccharine ballads and hopes to win for the UK, although I reckon we're likely to get a low top ten placing at best, Norway are dead certs with a cute boy singing something rather unmemorable, and the SuperGypsy the Czech Republic entered (who sounded like Borat when he spoke) went absolutely nowhere after the first semi round.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHm5tG6IYwI

Perhaps this song was inspired by the CaB SuperPikey thread from way back?

Looks like being a contest low on upsets and surprises, then, no Sebastian Tellier styled credible entries this year, no Lordis, no Bosnian Sparks, and no Latvian pirates.  But I'll still be watching.

[Lee]

Just watched the first semi-final... nothing particularly of note in there. Certainly no Verka Seduchkas. Although Copycat was gloriously shameless in his tribute to Elvis.

I really really hope we do badly this year. Not because Miss Thingmebob's voice isn't good - it obviously is for what it is - but just so that gargoylian fucker can be proven wrong about his theory on why we always do so badly. That and the fact he's written a dreadful flag-waving bullshit song straight out of the Jesus Christ Superstore.

[Pseudopath]

Glad to see Israel get through the semifinal (although there wasn't really much doubt). In terms of actual song quality, it's definitely up there with the monk in a wind tunnel's effort.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN8B1xvCxI0

They've also got the 'ooh...it's an Israeli Jew singing with an Israeli Arab' factor (although that could just as easily work against them).

^{Mira Awad is also officially lovely (...insert 'West Bank' spoonerism here)}

[The Region Legion]

Are Estonia through yet? Their entry this year is 4 sexy bowed instrument players, one of them sings. It's not an awful track either, exactly the kind of bollocks you expect from Eurovision. They should do well this year, if it wasn't for the big anti-Estonian sentiment in Russia.

[Famous Mortimer]

I'll be watching it, the only years I miss it tend to be years where really sucky things happen to me (1999 and last year being the two main examples). So you can be damn sure I'm not missing it again, if only so I can protect myself.

[23 Daves]

I really really hope we do badly this year. Not because Miss Thingmebob's voice isn't good - it obviously is for what it is - but just so that gargoylian fucker can be proven wrong about his theory on why we always do so badly. That and the fact he's written a dreadful flag-waving bullshit song straight out of the Jesus Christ Superstore.

I despise the "My Time" song for the same reasons as you - it's such a crass, disgusting, attention-seeking howler of a ditty.  Where's the taste in writing a song which basically says "Mummy, look at MEEEEEEEEE!  Give MEEEEEEEEEE an award!" across its entire playtime?  If France (for example) entered such a song, I wouldn't vote for it.

Are Estonia through yet? Their entry this year is 4 sexy bowed instrument players, one of them sings. It's not an awful track either, exactly the kind of bollocks you expect from Eurovision. They should do well this year, if it wasn't for the big anti-Estonian sentiment in Russia.

They're in the second semi final on Thursday night, along with the Netherlands' truly laughable entry (although it's supposed to be serious), Ireland's entry, Denmark's entry (penned by Ronan Keating), and Norway's apparent 'dead cert' (though I really don't think it's the shoe-in everyone seems to suppose it is). 

I'm tempted to bet on the results of this again this year, having a flutter on one of the relative outsiders.  There are a lot of strong, typical Eurovision winner styled entries, and they may well cancel each other out on the scoreboard in the final as the European public go for something a bit more unorthodox which stands out a lot more. 

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

What did we think then?

I thought it was better than last year, more good entries (lack of Latvian pirates and suchlikes aside - the closest we got was an Finn in a backwards baseball cap rapping next to a fire in a bin), and Norway were deserving of their win, I felt, a good pop song. Some catchy ones from various Eastern European countries too, though they all start to blend into one a bit after a while. Not a standout year, but a perfectly enjoyable way to spend three hours. I'm pissed off we did so well though. I never thought I'd long for Scooch or Daz from Bus Stop.

Edit: forgot to mention Norton. I thought he did very well, he's got some big shoes to fill but he said some funny things and I enjoyed his commentary more than I have Wogan in his last bitter couple of years. There seemed to be slightly less of the bloc-voting too (only slightly mind), probably down to the new voting system.
Second edit: I liked how the entry written by Ronan Keating was sung by what appeared to be an impersonator of Ronan Keating singing in the voice of Ronan Keating.

[23 Daves]

My mind's not changed, really - there were fewer bad or laughable entries this year, but fewer genuinely outstanding ones as well.  A few "nice" pop songs and that's it.  I think this year has been the first one in a long while I haven't gone to an mp3 site to buy one of the entries.

Norton did a good job, but took a while to settle into the swing of things. 

As for the UK's result - all the early predictions online pointed towards a top ten finish, so I wasn't massively surprised.  Jade's performance was pretty strong after all, and Lloyd Webber is an extremely popular chap in certain places in the world.  It's a shame he couldn't have given her something other than a cast-off to sing, the equivalent of a West End musical B-side, then we might have actually won.

[Danger Man]

Jades performance was pretty strong after all

And she probably picked up a couple of sympathy points for walking into the violinist at the start.

Albania picked up the 'What the hell are they doing?' award (in a very weak field) for having the 'green crossing' man harass their singer on stage. Germany came second for attempting a primary school version of 'Caberet'.

The Norwegian lad gave a slightly cynical after-show press conference, where he admitted that keeping it simple and jolly was all part of the plan.

But anyway, an enjoyable way to kill three hours. 

[Uncle TechTip]

I loved the German entry. Mrs Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, kiss me. Definitely one for the subtitles.

The Norwegian guy was their Pop idol champion, I read - a plan for next year? Dare they not give it to Cowell?

I also read that live instruments are not permitted on stage, so ALW was miming.

And Norton surprised me by being OK.

[An tSaoi]

What was it Stewart Lee called Andrew Lloyd Webber's musicals? Cold dead farts or something? Whatever it was it was spot on.

I agree Norton was good. He has the pisstake quality of Wogan, but did it with affection rather than weariness. His running into the wall jokes amused me. But I didn't like "Great - more votes for us", or him dressing up in a Union Jack jacket. He seems to be asserting that he's British. There's nothing wrong than that, I'm not sort of fuck da Brits angry Paddy, it's just that he's an Irishman abroad. Surely he could show appreciation for the UK's success without magically changing his country of origin.

Come to think of it Wogan is Irish as well.

But before I start saying "Our fellas can do it better than yours", the man who does the Irish covergae - Marty Whelan - is useless. His mic's sound quality is rubbish too. Switching from one station to the other is interesting, just to see the drop in quality.

[boxofslice]

Only caught bits of it before going out but the Icelandic woman singing her country's entry was a bit of all right. Apart from that, it's all a bit outdated really.

[Famous Mortimer]

Apart from that, it's all a bit outdated really.

It's never really been about up-to-the-minute musical trends, though.

I enjoyed the show loads more than Wogan's last few years, due to his complete ignorance of why countries with similar cultures and the same MTV station might vote for the same songs. He went from being funny to being bitter, and I've been hoping he'd get the push for a while. Paddy O'Connell did a great job too, I thought.

I didn't think Norway's was all that good, but it wasn't terrible at least. And hopefully our 5th place will shut people up next year- enter a half-decent song, and get somewhere. Enter a piece of shit like Scooch, get fuck all.

[boxofslice]

It's never really been about up-to-the-minute musical trends, though.

I could understand why this sort of thing would've worked in pop's infancy but in this day and age is there really a need for a competition to tell us that Azerbaijan are a bit shit at making music?

[An tSaoi]

Eurovision in outdated shocker!

[Famous Mortimer]

I could understand why this sort of thing would've worked in pop's infancy but in this day and age is there really a need for a competition to tell us that Azerbaijan are a bit shit at making music?

That Azerbaijan woman could have been singing about the fun side of paedophilia and I'd have still been "wow, she's pretty". And it's not even that the rest of Europe is rubbish at making music - Portugal's was lovely, like a little twee indie-pop song with traditional instruments on it. Some of them were dreadful, obviously, but some of them were quite nice; and besides that, I've never really watched it to see what the rest of Europe's musical tastes are like. It's more about the spectacle of the whole thing - the most watched non-sport TV programme on earth, apparently.

[Lee Van Cleef]

The lead singer/violinist for the Estonia act was a right honey.

Also, what was with the scary women this year?  Especially those from Sweden and France.  The former had the freakiest look on her face when she was screaming, the latter just looked like the living dead.

[chocky909]

I'm quite interested to see how much of the UK's decent result was down to the new voting system. I missed the voting on TV. Were there any breakdown? Where would UK have come if it was just the usual telephone voting?

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

That Azerbaijan woman could have been singing about the fun side of paedophilia and I'd have still been "wow, she's pretty".

Ah, did you not check out the red button "singalong" option?

I watched Eurovision for the first time in a few years, it was entertaining.  Thought Norton did pretty well, he was enthusiastic, funny and informative (like when he explained that Romania were essentially cheating).

As for the acts, I have to say that I had the chorus melody to the Norwegian entry stuck in my head for a couple of days, it was very catchy even if the song wasn't particularly good.  UK entry was a bit meh really, I think the new voting system is had an enormous impact, it must have done, it got votes from France and Germany!

Special praise must be reserved for the Greek entry, which was the campest hi-NRG thing to have ever hit Eurovision, fantastic  stuff, although the guy really seemed to be sad when the voting didn't really go his way.  The background video to the Russian entry was intriguing, although you would have thought that the singer's billionaire father could have splashed out on singing lessons and dental work for her.  It was entertaining stuff, even the bit between the songs and voting was interesting this year.

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

Special praise must be reserved for the Greek entry, which was the campest hi-NRG thing to have ever hit Eurovision, fantastic  stuff, although the guy really seemed to be sad when the voting didn't really go his way.

They had a conveyor belt. Which rose up. With a Greek flag patterned on its underside. This, combined with the synchronised dancing, makes it the true winner of Eurovision 2009.

[Gavin M]

The row between Azerbaiajan and Armenia hasn't stopped at all in the three months since the contest:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8205907.stm

A number of people in Azerbaijan who voted for a song by neighbouring Armenia in the Eurovision Song Contest have been questioned by the police.

One man told the BBC he was accused of being unpatriotic and a "potential security threat", after he sent a text backing Armenia's song, Jan Jan.

The Azerbaijani authorities said people had merely been invited to explain why they voted for Armenia.

The two states fought over the disputed Nagorno-Karabakh region in the 1990s.

A total of 43 people in Azerbaijan reportedly voted for Armenia in the competition, but it remains unclear how many of them have been questioned by police.

Svante Stockselius, executive supervisor of the Eurovision Song Contest, said the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) was investigating the situation.

In November 2008, the Armenian and Azerbaijani leaders agreed to intensify their efforts to find a political settlement to the row over the territory.

They said they had made significant progress at talks in Prague in May on the sidelines of the EU's Eastern Partnership summit.

The BBC's South Caucasus correspondent, Tom Esslemont, says it is unclear why the Azeri authorities have chosen to call people in for questioning three months after this year's Eurovision song contest.

Civil rights campaigners say freedom of expression is increasingly suppressed in Azerbaijan under the presidency of Ilham Aliyev.

Through this latest row, some have even accused his government of attempting to provoke tensions with Armenia, 15 years after the war over Nagorno-Karabakh left the two countries scarred and bitterly divided, our correspondent says.

You may remember that Azer's TV broadcast of the semi-final was accused of obscuring the phone number to vote for Armenia.  Armenia themselves fanned the flames when the woman announcing their votes did so using a clipboard that displayed a clear image of the Papik Tatik monument at Nagorno-Karabakh.  The EBU have said that any invasion of voter privacy is strictly prohibited and will be meeting on 11th September to discuss the issue, but whether they'll have the balls to impose sanctions on Azer remains to be seen.

[Johnny Yesno]

Damn that block voting they do in the Ukstan sort of countries!

[Deadeye Dick]

Was it just me who saw this thread, thought "ooh, great, Eurovision time!", and then remembred it's already been and gone for the year and then felt a little upset?  Yep, just me then.

[The Plunger]

Was it just me who saw this thread, thought "ooh, great, Eurovision time!", and then remembred it's already been and gone for the year and then felt a little upset?  Yep, just me then.

I'm with you there. I was mentally populating the cheese board and buying new felt tip pens. Now I'm going into hibernation until 2010.

[Gavin M]

Well then you can't be that fond of it if you think it happens in bloody late August!

Jade Ewen's post-Eurovision debut single 'My Man' is out on Monday and seems to be picking up a bit of a buzz.  I'd love to see it do well because it would show that Eurovision can be the springboard to a successful career, therefore more talent (writing and performing) wil be attracted to the UK qualification stage.  I don't think we'll ever have something as big, respected and wonderful as Melodiefestivalen in this country, but it'll give it a bit more credibility I reckon.

[23 Daves]

To be honest, I think we need more of the attitude the French have, which for a few years now has been to enter what they consider to be the best option, a bankable star (cult or otherwise) and if doesn't win, just shrug it off.  No novelty tat, no Eurocheese, just respected artists doing their thing, not worrying about the event screwing their careers over (which it won't, let's be honest - if somebody's a huge star, it would take more than finishing ninth at Eurovision to undo everything overnight. Hey, did losing kill Cliff?)

There again, the French always know they're right, and therefore aren't as inclined to lose face as often as the British are. 

[waste of chops]

Jade Ewen's post-Eurovision debut single 'My Man' is out on Monday and seems to be picking up a bit of a buzz.  I'd love to see it do well because it would show that Eurovision can be the springboard to a successful career

Is being the latest Sugababe successful enough?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/3am/2009/09/18/amelle-berrabeh-quits-sugababes-jade-ewen-set-to-replace-her-115875-21684381/

[Gavin M]

Hmmm, this is a story that last night I was happy to dismiss as 'complete bollocks' yet seems to have picked up speed (certainly the Amelle quitting part, and possibly the Jade bit as well).  Will comment further once we have confirmation!

[Gavin M]

Keisha's finally come out and said that everything's fine with them at the moment so we can (temporarily at least) get on with our lives.  In response to Dave's comments, it would be great to do this in theory but it will take a change in the UK music industry mentality for artists & labels to have the balls to put up 'credible' artists in the competition.  Also the BBC needs to get plenty of mileage out of the Eurovision costs, hence having a qualification tournament to decide on the song/artist.  For many stars it's the fear of failing to qualify that makes them back off - I recall Mel C being asked a few years ago, but that she'd only do it if she didn't have to qualify.

[Gavin M]

Oh no!  I spoke too soon.  Well good luck to Jade anyway, hope it goes smoothly though that doesn't happen very often when that group's concerned.