Snooker loopy, nuts are we

[12 years, 11 months old]

I've a confession to make. For the past week I've been compulsively staying up past three in the morning watching portly men with massive woods shove balls down impossibly tight holes.

And I've been watching the snooker.

My only previous acquaintance with the sport was Jim Davidson's Saturday night game show Big Break, and so in my mind snooker has always remained the domain of slightly depressing (and probably wife beating) pot-bellied pub dwellers - certainly nothing I would be interested in.

But I've experienced a truly damascene conversion. Now it seems to me that, whatever criteria you care to choose, snooker is quite possibly the greatest of all sports.

It is the most beautiful. Why people call football the beautiful game I don't know. Ugly concrete stadiums, mud soaked surfaces and day-glow clothing are not my aesthetic. Give me the crisp green felt of a snooker table, topped by a geometrically arranged rainbow of spheres any day. Seen from above, the whole set-up has the quality of an abstract painting, in motion. And the motion! Every move crisp, precise, mathematical. No wonder the players dress up for the occasion.

It is the most cerebral. Well its probably not. Chess is of course the tacticians pastime of choice, but the problem is it's just too clever. The thing about snooker is it's just cerebral enough. Chess players are essentially abnormal human beings, whereas snooker players are people like us. They plan ahead, but not 20 moves ahead. Another factor is the pace of the game. Unlike snooker or tennis, the pace is slow enough to rely on thought not instinct, so the spectator has time to speculate and play along herself rather than merely watch on in awed silence at the player's natural skill. And anyway, chess isn't a sport.

It's the easiest to be an expert about. I think this stems from the essentially simple nature of the game. There's very little terminology involved, just potting and placing and the occasional bit of snookering. As such, there are only about six phrases you need to sound like an expert: 'good shot' 'well placed' 'nicely hit', and their opposites. This limited phraseology forces the slightly redundant commentators to resort to some quite outstanding Colemanballs in an effort to fill the silence. Why, just today:

'Dott is one of those players you have to beat if you want to win'

and

'If you want to play like the top two players in the country you've got to play like Hendry or O'Sullivan [the two top players in the country]'

And above all

It is the most indolent. What other sport can be won with less physical effort than it takes to write an article about the sport? Except darts which is NOT A SPORT.

So given that a thread about what is basically the dad's-sport-of-choice, cricket, got up to about six pages I think it's time snooker got a bit of representation around here.

Are there any other snooker fans, or snooker haters on here? What's your history with the game? And I know the World Championship looks sewn up, but who do you reckon will meet O'Sullivan in the final?

[hands cold, liver warm]

I love snooker. I'm going to watch the final on the big screen in sheffield centre. I've never watched snooker on a outdoor big screen before so it should be fun.

Apart from anything, snooker is very aesthetically pleasing. You have the players in their old fashioned black suits, the bright green table and the multicoloured balls. Its very beautful to watch. Then the satisfying sound of the balls going into the pocket, a mixture of a bang and a plop.

I'm a big mark williams fan, ever since he beat stephen hendry on a respotted black in the final frame of the masters.

[Doctor Stamen]

People don't appreciate snooker unless they've tried to play it.  I used to play three or four times a week when I was at school because it was the only place we could get served!  Now I can sit and watch it for hours, it's bloody great.

[imitationleather]

I've spent the afternoon watching the snooker with my old Nan. You can't buy memories like that.

Snooker is da bomb!

[gazzyk1ns]

Add me to the list.

But I'm a big Hendry fan so I'm upset, I can't say anything apart from that.

COME ON STEPHEN!

Seriously, if anyone can do it, he can. And if anyone can press the self destruct button, Ronnie can...

Dott deserves to beat Stephens, even though I like Matthew. But I'm afrait that whoever wins the Hendry/O'Sullivan match will win the trophy... so it's irrelevant.

[rjpeters]

It's a wonderful way to spend an afternoon, isn't it. A sport that you can just sit there and watch without getting too worked up about. Probably in my top 5 favourite sports, after football, cricket, golf and tennis.

I've a confession to make. For the past week I've been compulsively staying up past three in the morning watching portly men with massive woods shove balls down impossibly tight holes.

And I've been watching the snooker.

That's good. I may have to steal it.

Getting back to snooker, I have to say this years championships have been better than previous years, mainly because O' Sullivan has got his head sorted out and he's focusing on playing snooker rather than headgames with himself. I know he's a manic depressive as well, which has affected him badly but the fact that he seem to have sorted all that out as well makes it all the better that he's done so well. I feel sorry for however wins Stevens/Dott. They're going to run into Ronnie while he's at the top of his game and neither of them are going to stand a hope in hells chance of winning.

My only previous acquaintance with the sport was Jim Davidson's Saturday night game show Big Break, and so in my mind snooker has always remained the domain of slightly depressing (and probably wife beating) pot-bellied pub dwellers - certainly nothing I would be interested in.

I remember watching it on a saturday night, just before Noel's House Party came on, about 10 years ago. It was also the last time I found Jim Davidson funny, but I guess that argument is for another time and place...

[gazzyk1ns]

Hah, Big Break. It was on until fairly recently, you shouldn't have to stretch your imagination too far!

I have to admit I always found it entertaining on one level or another, Jim Davidson would be doing his best to perv on the middle-aged wives from Romford and John Virgo would be doing his best to tell a professional snooker player how to play snooker.

[bill hicks]

....and the shit, 191st in the world waster would always win while Stephen 'It's probably easier to count how many titles I haven't won' Hendry and his ilk would get dumped in the first round.

John Virgo seems a good bloke, but he is probably mates with Davidson so I'm not totally decided on that one.

[Timmay]

I had a drink with Rocket Ronnie in a pub in Sheffield, during the '99 finals. Well, I was about 3 feet away from him anyway. And he had his back turned most of the time.

I loved going to watch snooker at the Crucible. Well, I just liked the whole week of the finals really, because of the atmosphere that descended on the centre. Especially if it was warm - like HCLW said about, watching it on the big screen with a pint in your hand is ace.

Ahh, student days, with fuck all else to do than watch snooker, drink beer, and ogle at the fit student totty...

...fuck, wish I was there.

[Gazeuse]

*snooze*

Sorry, I don't get it.

[fanny splendid]

*snooze*

Sorry, I don't get it.

Ditto.

Although I have caught a couple of frames of Ronnie O'Sullivan's game against Stephen Hendry, and you have to admire the way he is winning. Someone else said he was a manic depressive, and you can see that in the way he is playing. He's almost scary. However, I am not one of these people who scream, get it off the telly!

Each to his own.

I would rather watch that most demanding of sports...

Darts.

[Garfield And Friends]

Snooker is excellent. A great sport to watch. But boy oh boy am I crap at playing it. I think my top break is probably three reds and three colours.

Anyone see Hicks vs. Hann in the first round? Hann is a completely smug, self-satisfied arse. But I suppose he livens things up by being a prick (and his Pool-like break-off).

I still think Stephen Lee plays for pies, though.
"There's a pie in it for you Stephen!"
"Yum!"

[hoverdonkey]

Little claim to fame. You know the room where the BBC do a lot of their links from with all the memorabilia etc. That's my Dad's stuff. They usually get him on to talk about it. Dunno if he's been on this year. He's the leading historian on the game don't you know.

Snooker's ace but then I have to say that cos of Dad. I played a lot as a kid, made my highest break of 88 when I was about 17.

[mwude]

Snooker on tv.  It's fucking brilliant isn't it?  The lazy man's best friend.  Most of the time I should have spent revising for A-levels or uni exams was spent watching snooker (and mock exams was always darts).  

Dozing the afternoon away with the light click & thunk of the balls in the background - it's the sounds rather than the visuals that delight me.  You hear an intake of breath from the crowd & it's time to look up and see who's missed what, then back to dozing.

The commentators are consistently entertaining because, a bit like cricket, there's not really a huge amount going on so they have to fill the silence with bollocks.  I also like it when there's absolutely nothing to say at all & you watch a bloke walking round a table for about 2 minutes.  How often do you get that on tele?  Two minutes of a bloke just wandering around a big table in complete silence?  It's marvellous.

I like the fact that it's a one player game played by two people.  Golf would be much better if you could whack your opponent's ball around.  I like the fact that there's a referee (I'm always hoping that trouble will break out and the ref has to step in between the players).  I like that new woman ref, she has a very stern look that is more than a bit foxy.  I like the 'tactical battles' when it goes all scrappy & defensive, there is a certain similarity to chess there - working out exactly where to leave things so your opponent is in trouble.  There's "a pleasing geometry to it" to pinch a phrase from somewhere else.  I like the fact that it's dead easy to go & play the game and find out how hard it is & how bloody good the pros are.

This year I'm especially liking the fact that the most interesting & talented player is playing near-perfect snooker and has just smashed the boring, grinding sod Hendry to pieces.  It's surely not the sort of game that should be associated with a 'tortured genius' really is it?  But you've had Higgins, White & now O'Sullivan.  You never get tortured geniuses playing bowls.

But why is it the preserve of young players?  You'd have thought it'd be the one sport that could be won by people in their 60s or 70s.  Very seldom does the game require a huge amount of power from the arm & it's the sort of sport where experience is very valuable.  But for some reason players become 'past it' at about 40.  Makes no sense to me.

[Purple Tentacle]

Hah, yes Snooker reminds me of revision too, but in a nice way. It's a great comfort, not too intrusive but distracting enough to take your mind off the horror to come.

Count me in for liking snooker, for I do.

[Doctor Stamen]

Yeah, I always did better in my January exams than the May ones - probably because of the snooker.

Have you noticed that old fella in the audience, right behind where Matthew Stevens is sitting, in the green shirt?  He's been in the exact same seat all week, maybe he's dead?

[A Passing Turk Slipper]

Nice post 12 years, 11 months old and yours as well mwude! Snooker is lovely to watch isn't it. It requires no effort, you can just jump in in the middle of a match and frame and you can immediately know what the situation is. I don't really have a 'favourite' like a lot of you have, I'll just stick on the snooker before I go to bed and decide which one I want to win. And all the commentators are great too, they are all mates with the players and the interviews are just them having a chat, it's good. So my vote goes with snooker.

[Des Nilsen]

Yeah, I like Snooker too, though this year I've only gotten into the world championships in the last week or so. It's the only sport I can get into at all though, and last night I was revelling in the brilliance of late-night Snooker on BBC2 - quiet, tense and always enjoyable.
I actually want the final to go on quite late - I love staying up to watch a live final. Fantastic.

"...It's like 1985 all over again..."

-

[Purple Tentacle]

BUMP


Stevens vs Dott is on BBC2 NOW, and it's dead close and exciting!

[weekender]

BUMP


Stevens vs Dott is on BBC2 NOW, and it's dead close and exciting!

It's even more fucking exciting now!!!

BBC2 NOW!!!

Stevens 54 - 51 Dott

Blue, pink and black left, attempted safetys all round.

Overall, Stevens 15 - 16 Dott.

Dott needs the frame to win, Stevens needs the frame to stay in the match.  This is great.

[imitationleather]

It's just highlights of earlier, so it's not more exciting at all.

[weekender]

It's exciting if you didn't see it earlier, and are assuming that it's live.

[imitationleather]

Good call.

But yeah, it was very exciting when I saw it earlier. I enjoyed the other semi-final because of how well O'Sullivan was playing and it was great to watch, but this one was much better because it went right down to the wire.

Enjoy your viewing.

EDIT: Jesus Christ, Dott's voice eh? Only dogs can hear it...

[12 years, 11 months old]

My God, Dott's victory was great, wasn't it? From tramping all over his cue in despair to a world championship final, truly the stuff inspirational britflicks are made on.

[hands cold, liver warm]

does Dott have a chance of beating o'sullivan? I don't think he has, partly because  ronnie is playing great but also because Dott has no experience of playing in major finals. He might be too happy just to be there and will not be too sore if he gets beat. Matthew Stevens would have made a better finalist, as he could have raised his game under the pressure. Add to that his past final defeat to mark williams, Stevens would be  desperate not to lose another.

I love tight world finals. Even if the quality isn't high, the tension involved with each shot makes it compusive viewing. I remember the Hendry-Nigel Bond final a few years ago, I knew Bond couldn't win and Bond knew he couldn't win as well. As a result, it was the most uncompetitive final I've ever seen and I fear tomorrow's will be similar.

[weekender]

I'd argue that Dott has a decent chance of beating O'Sulllivan if you think about it.  No-one expected Dott to get past the first round, and yet he's overcome the odds and made it to the final.  Consequently he possibly shouldn't be feeling any pressure at all, he's made it this far and can go out onto the table tomorrow knowing that he's in good form and doesn't have anything to prove.  He can just relax and play his game - even if he loses, he'll still have had a greatly successful tournament on his terms.

Ronnie, on the other hand, is going to be under a lot of pressure.  Everyone expects him to win - he is, as people keep reminding him, the most natural player the game has ever seen - and he's surely the favourite.  However, as we all know, he's had problems with his mind in the past, and also in this tournament.  He's played some great snooker, sure, but I reckon he'll be feeling a lot of pressure tomorrow.

Dott, on the other hand, can just go into the final and say 'cheers, thanks, I'll play my game now, see what happens, nothing to worry about'.

Either way, I'm looking forward to a good final.  May the best man win.

[hands cold, liver warm]

yeah good points. It all depends on the first session tomorrow afternoon. If Dott can keep O'Sullivan close then we could have a great final. There have been some major upsets in world finals, like underdog Joe Johnston beating Steve Davis in 1986.

[mangoliver]

From what I've seen I think Dott has a decent cahnce. Ronnie seems to be at his best when he's playing someone like Hendry, an attacking player who is prepared to take him on. With someone like Dott, who will slow him down and try to make it tense tactical affair, I think Ronnie might fuck up, he seems the temperamental type.

[kenneth trousers]

The bookies seem to disagree about Dott having any chance.
O`Sullivan 1-14
Dott 13-2

I`ve had a fiver on Ronnie to win 18-4 at 20-1 and a pound on Dott to win 18-0 at 50000-1
The longest oods i`ve ever recieved on any bet. You`d get shorter odds on inteligent life being found on Mars...playing snooker.

[thomasina]

I never watch sport on TV as a matter of principle.  But I do still have a photo of me with Cliff Thorburn taken in 1989.