Baaaaad poetry

[dan dirty ape]

After the recent 'great single lines' thread, and having just now been in a shop playing that 'what's she gonna look like with a chimney on her' song, I'm curious to see what other Whores regard as being the absolute WORST lyrics ever matched to music.

Here are some clunkers to start off with

'The ending of this song/Well, I haven't thought of one'
Manic Street Preachers, 'S.Y.M.M'

'PJ and Duncan/A duo, a twosome/So many lyrics we're frightened to use 'em/So many lyrics we keep 'em in drawers/We've even got 'em coming out of our pores'
Ant and Dec, 'Let's Get Ready To Rhumble'

'Close the curtains, we could bubble the bath/I'll wash yours, you wash mine/Yeah, we'll have a good laugh'
East 17, 'Deep'

And another from them,

'When the thunder calls you/To the purple sun/To the place where horses run'
East 17, 'Thunder'
Oooh, far out, man.

[El Unicornio, mang]

'I can't help that I wanna fumble/Sarah Cracknell up her channel tunnel'

Whale - Eurodog

[falafel]

The old Des'ree chestnut:  I don't want to see a ghost \ It's the sight that I fear most \ I'd rather have a piece of toast, \ Watch the evening news. Pretty dreadful, by all accounts.

Or this Groove Armada bollocks: "I never really felt quite the same \ Since I lost what I had to gain \ No-one to blame.... Seems to me you can't turn back the hands of time". Well. You don't say?

'In the desert, you can remember your name \ Cause there ain't no-one for to give you no pain".

"We love rohypnol \ She loves rohypnol..."

There are too many bad lyrics.

[imitationleather]

How about this one from NewOrder?

"The sea was very rough/It made me feel sick/But I like that kinda stuff/It beats arithmetic."

Klass.

[Utter Shit]

'Close the curtains, we could bubble the bath/I'll wash yours, you wash mine/Yeah, we'll have a good laugh'
East 17, 'Deep'

And another from them,

'When the thunder calls you/To the purple sun/To the place where horses run'
East 17, 'Thunder'
Oooh, far out, man.

I've always loved the line from 'Ghetto' off their album 'Up All Night', which goes "you got me full of veins when I'm looking at ya, and keeping it down is such a strain like a booty-snatcher, lips eqipped to suck a tennis ball up a hosepipe, so if I tell you that I love you then you just might..."

Depraved.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Sister Rosa, Malcom X & Dr. King
Showed us we got power
Showed what changes we could bring
To change society
You have gotta change the law
Their bodies may be gone
But their spirits still live on

Star - Primal Scream

I'm sure they meant well, but vomit inducing nonetheless

When it comes to beats well I'm a fiend
I like my sugar with coffee and cream

Beastie Boys - Intergalactic

Good song, bad lyric

[pretty dead boy]

Sister Rosa, Malcom X & Dr. King
Showed us we got power
Showed what changes we could bring
To change society
You have gotta change the law
Their bodies may be gone
But their spirits still live on

why?  i've heard that lyric picked on by a few people.  i think it's top.  "one man's freedom fighter is another's terrorist"

it's a top lyric, and shouldn't be considered trite or insincere just because it's contained in a pop song - i'm sure no-one'd be belittling it if it was an extract from an elridge cleaver letter or something similar ...

[Crazy Penis]

All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly flow
like a harpoon daily and nightly
etc...etc...

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

I wont bother quoting his whole 'discography'

[Utter Shit]

"I love you like a fat kid love cake"

[european son]

How about this one from NewOrder?

"The sea was very rough/It made me feel sick/But I like that kinda stuff/It beats arithmetic."

Klass.

every bit as good as

"Every second counts, when i am with you, you look like a pig, you should be in a zoo"

from "Every Second Counts", off Brotherhood. Barney laughs as he sings the line, but then again, who wouldn't?

[mangoliver]

Highlighted on Danny Baker's excellent radio show. The following song will take some beating for sincerely awful fucking lyrics.

http://www.internettreehouse.co.uk/grandpa.ram

The song starts like this...

"i forgot which day is step parent's day
i never had the chance to say
you brought out the monkey in me
and were there with cash where I needed you to be
and never let me go astray

grandpa I love you
for the brown bag lunches you made
grandpa I love you for the spankings you gave me
even though you acted like a shrew
grandpa I love you"

and after that it only gets worse.

[joFFeman]

when you've got to feel it in your bones
and i used to fly like peter pan
all the children flew when i touched their hands

if you're gonna write paedophile bullshit at least write decent paedophile bullshit. it doesn't get much more awful than this load of sentimental crap.

[Gazeuse]

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too

OUCH!!! I bloody hate that song!!!

[no_offenc]

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too

OUCH!!! I bloody hate that song!!!

Heheheh...
Imagine no posessions... - well, that's easy for him to say with his mansion and millions, isn't it?

[Pilf]

"Everybody had a laugh, and then went for an early bath, did you"

Some Shed 7 atrocity, think it was Chasing Rainbows.

Also, (I've had this shite forced on me by the radio and unfortunately the lyrics seeped in). The new Avril Lavigne 'song':
"You gave me a kiss, it was something like this, it made me go 'oh oh'"

I'm working from memory there but it's definitely something like that. Listen out for it, I can not believe even spotty little Avril would sing something that bad.

And I'd have to add anything by wannabe chav The Streets, especially:
"I'll stop sharking in a minute to get Chips, and Drinks"

Tit.

[dan dirty ape]

'Time flexes like a whore/Falls wanking to the floor'
:- David Bowie, Time

I think it was a missed opportunity not to have Phil Cornwell saying that one in 'Stella Street'.

[fanny splendid]

'The ending of this song/Well, I haven't thought of one'
Manic Street Preachers, 'S.Y.M.M'

You do understand what is being said there, don't you?

[hands cold, liver warm]

'Time flexes like a whore/Falls wanking to the floor'
:- David Bowie, Time

I like that line. I think its supposed to be humourous.

How do you go about falling to the floor whilst wanking? I've never done it.

[dan dirty ape]

'The ending of this song/Well, I haven't thought of one'
Manic Street Preachers, 'S.Y.M.M'

You do understand what is being said there, don't you?

Yeah, I get the intention behind that lyric. It's a contentious song I suppose, maybe one I shouldnt have included in with some dopey old pop lyrics given the subject matter. It just always seemed like a bit of a botch job to me, though I don't doubt Wire's genuine intent to express his anger.

[dan dirty ape]

'Time flexes like a whore/Falls wanking to the floor'
:- David Bowie, Time

I like that line. I think its supposed to be humourous.

How do you go about falling to the floor whilst wanking? I've never done it.

Perhaps it was a long fall, like out of a plane, and he just wanted to kill time.

[fanny splendid]

'The ending of this song/Well, I haven't thought of one'
Manic Street Preachers, 'S.Y.M.M'

You do understand what is being said there, don't you?

Yeah, I get the intention behind that lyric. It's a contentious song I suppose, maybe one I shouldnt have included in with some dopey old pop lyrics given the subject matter. It just always seemed like a bit of a botch job to me, though I don't doubt Wire's genuine intent to express his anger.

Fair enough. I thought that was good ending, to a good song. Not great, but hey, after the plane crash that killed the remaining three members, that was an okay way to end...

[Rats]

You're into manic street preachers? You fat idiot. Right, everytime you mention the giants, I've got me some ammo.

[Borboski]

Melanie C

If That Were Me

Where do they go and what do they do?
They're walking on by, they're looking at you
Some people stop, some people stare
But would they help you and do they care?

How did you fall? Did you fall at all?

Are you happy where you are sleeping underneath the stars?
When it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm?
A spare bit of change is all that I give
How is that gonna help when you've got nowhere to live?
Some turn away so they don't see
I bet you'd look if that were me

How did you fall? Did you fall at all?

Are you happy where you are sleeping in between parked cars?
When it thunders where do you hide from the storm?
Could you ever forgive my self-pity?
When you've got nothing and you're living on the streets of the city
I couldn't live without my phone
But you don't even have a home

How did we fall? Can we get up at all?

Are we happy where we are on our lonely little star?
When it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm?
Where do they go and what do they do?
They're walking on by, they're looking at you
They're walking on by, they're looking at you

[elderford]

For me it is the Great American Poet Mr Jim Morrison.

The rhyming scheme for Light My Fire is particularly grim:

Liar, Pyre, Fire, , Mire, Higher.

Bottom of the barrell stuff, similar to The End:

Ride the snake to the lake.

[fanny splendid]

You fat idiot.

Aww, so cute.

Is your favourite Giants song, The Biggest One?

I know you feel a great deal of empathy with the lyrics...

[dan dirty ape]

Melanie C song

Fucking hell.

[Nearly Annually]

There will never be a seam as rich as Saxon ...

Crusader, crusader, please take me with you
The battle lies far to the east
Crusader, crusader, don't leave me alone
I want to ride out on your quest

Although Maiden have come close ...

Alexander the Great,
His name struck fear into hearts of men,
Alexander the Great,
He died of fever in Babylon.

(from Alexander The Great, which is shite all the way through.)

[Lord Spong]

Sister Rosa, Malcom X & Dr. King
Showed us we got power
Showed what changes we could bring
To change society
You have gotta change the law
Their bodies may be gone
But their spirits still live on

it's a top lyric, and shouldn't be considered trite or insincere just because it's contained in a pop song - i'm sure no-one'd be belittling it if it was an extract from an elridge cleaver letter or something similar ...

Maybe not, but coming from a bunch of drug addled, white Glaswegian, Black Crowes wannabes, it's positively excruciating.

Rubbish lyrics then.  Can anybody explain to me what the following means

"And after all,
You're my wonderwall"

Huh?

[Morrisfan82]

I always liked that bridge-y bit in Hitney Whouston's version of I Will Always Be On Love Song Compilations that goes

Yoo-ooou
My darling yoooou
Ooo-ooh

Inspired.

[pretty dead boy]

Maybe not, but coming from a bunch of drug addled, white Glaswegian, Black Crowes wannabes, it's positively excruciating.

that's a bit primitive though, isn't it?  i don't see the relevance of them being white or glaswegian.  and the black crowes quote's wank ... have you heard any of the last three lps?

Yoo-ooou
My darling yoooou
Ooo-ooh

get the dolly parton original!  she sings it differently, with less throatwank, it's "aces".