Baaaaad poetry

[Lord Spong]

Maybe not, but coming from a bunch of drug addled, white Glaswegian, Black Crowes wannabes, it's positively excruciating.

that's a bit primitive though, isn't it?  i don't see the relevance of them being white or glaswegian.  and the black crowes quote's wank ... have you heard any of the last three lps?

Yes I have.  I admit my reference may be ten years out of date.

I really like Primal Scream, but those lyrics are awful.  I mean, 'One mans freedom fighter is another mans terrorist'!!  Bloody hellfire, had they been reading 'The Ladybird Guide to International Politics' that day?

As for the white glaswegian thing.  To listen to a bunch of white scotsman talk about 'Dr King' is a bit like listening to Ali G talking about 'da bruvas'.

[boki]

"I love you like a fat kid love cake"

Ah, come on - that's fantastic!  I nearly sent Fiddy a thank you card when I heard that.  Damn near pissed mesen.

[Nearly Annually]

The classic ...


I'm serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer

[Morrisfan82]

The classic ...

I'm serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer

I got a question, as serious as cancer
Who can keep the average dancer
Hyper as a heart attack nobody smiling
Cuz you're expressing the rhyme that I'm styling

Jane Bussman didn't seem too bothered about that one though.

[Nearly Annually]

She's a dancer, a romancer
I'm a Capricorn and she's a Cancer

- Kiss

[chand]

I was listening to 'Paid In Full' the other day, and sometimes I think it's the most robbed-from album ever made. You keep hearing things and thinking 'Shit! Aaliyah/Mos Def/Eminem/Limp Bizkit/everybody stole that bit!'.

[mrpants]

I keep meaning to get Paid In Full but it costs a bomb now that it's been labelled the special uber edition.

Might have to try and find a second hand regular edition somewhere...

[Peking O]

Here's some more laughably bad Bobby Gillespie lyrics (in full-on Rik from the Young Ones mode this time):

Hey wage slave where's your profit share?
They got ya down they're gonna keep you there
Freeze your mind, metamorphose
Cocaine karma in the heroin zone
Multinational life is cheap
Soldiers, workers, maggots meat
Get on up, protest riot
Are you collateral damage or a legitimate target?

Cocaine karma in the heroin zone? Heh heh heh!

[hands cold, liver warm]

Are you happy where you are sleeping in between parked cars?
When it thunders where do you hide from the storm?
Could you ever forgive my self-pity?
When you've got nothing and you're living on the streets of the city
I couldn't live without my phone
But you don't even have a home

I can't be the only one to like that. I bet its terrible when sung out loud but on paper (or the internet) it isn't that bad

[Rats]

http://www.darklyrics.com/c/clawfinger.html
Take your pick. I swear they take themselves very seriously.

Here's a verse picked at random

What the hell is wrong with you have you lost your mind
you know we never go out this late
You're making me look stupid and now I'm feeling mad
it must have been something you ate

Love me shove me kiss me hug me
What is my love what is my love tell me
Fuck me kick me suck me hit me
What is a fuck what is a fuck tell me...
School me fool me rule me drool me

[Jimmy]

I wish that I could fly,
Right to the sky, so very high
Just like a dragonfly...

[butnut]

I wish that I could fly,
Right to the sky, so very high
Just like a dragonfly...

Yes, becuase Keith Harris said it so much better:

I wish I could fly,
Right up to the sky,
But I can't...

[Bollock Chops]

Es are good, Es are good,
He's Ebeneezer Good

Christ.

[mayer]

don't look at me you fuckheads

a nation turned it's back and gagged.

[joFFeman]

http://www.darklyrics.com/c/clawfinger.html
Take your pick. I swear they take themselves very seriously.

Here's a verse picked at random

What the hell is wrong with you have you lost your mind
you know we never go out this late
You're making me look stupid and now I'm feeling mad
it must have been something you ate

Love me shove me kiss me hug me
What is my love what is my love tell me
Fuck me kick me suck me hit me
What is a fuck what is a fuck tell me...
School me fool me rule me drool me

they take themselves seriously? fuck, i've been a fan for years and now i realize it wasn't all a joke. nah, i like 'em, but their lyrics are almost all total shit. remember the n**ger song? HAW

[Nearly Annually]

Ahhh Clawfinger. Thanks Rats. We used to play that first album very loud in a cottage in a bog in Wales on shrooms and giggle a lot. I particularly remember the song Rosegrove ...

Do this
Do that
Come here
You twat

I'm still here although I hate it
I wonder why I even care about a place like this
I don't know if I can take it
I've had it up to here with your shit and your piss

Top swearing there. Now shag off you scandinavian burps. Norvege nul points.

[Lord Spong]

Special mention for this.

Anti Nowhere League - So What

Well I've drunk that
And I've drunk this
And I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what

Some great ones from Cradle of Filth.  This beauty is called Funeral in Carpathia

I am He
The crowned and conquering darkness
Satan robed in ecumenical filth
Livid Bacchus sustained by bridal echelons of sylph

This wintry eve when the snow glistens deep
And sharpened turrets wed the jewelless skies
I shrug off the shroud of preternatural sleep
Enbroided by these words Malaresia scribed...

and so on...

[fanny splendid]

Heh, that Cradle of Filth song has just appeared on my Audioscribbler playlist...

I take your Anti-Nowhere League, and raise you one Crass...

So what if Jesus died on the cross
So what about the fucker, I don't give a toss

[boki]

they take themselves seriously? fuck, i've been a fan for years and now i realize it wasn't all a joke. nah, i like 'em, but their lyrics are almost all total shit. remember the n**ger song? HAW

Ha, yeah!  They're trying to get black people to stop calling each other the Big Ron word because

It's a negative word and the white man made it

and, errr, then reinforce the point by having a chorus that went simply

n**ger
NiggerNiggerNiggerNiggerNiggerNiggerNigger

Err, yeah.  Still that truth song was good for a headbang down Ritzy's of a Monday night.

[hands cold, liver warm]

whole lotta love by led zeppelin

You've been learning, baby, I been learning,
All them good times, baby, baby, I've been yearning,
Way, way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love

You've been cooling, baby, I've been drooling,
All the good times I've been misusing,
Way, way down inside, I'm gonna give you my love,
I'm gonna give you every inch of my love,
Gonna give you my love.
Yeah! All right! Let's go!

Way down inside, woman, You need love.
Shake for me, girl, I wanna be your backdoor man.
Hey, oh, hey, oh, Oh, oh, oh, Keep a-cooling, baby,
Keep a-cooling, baby.

shudder

[fanny splendid]

Yah, booh, hiss!

There's nothing wrong with a bit of good loving.