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March 28, 2024, 02:23:37 PM

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Invent a sex toy

Started by Clone Army, August 31, 2009, 08:39:55 PM

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Clone Army

Self-lubricating dungarees -For those us who want to take our Plumber-related fantasies to the highest legally permissible level. These babies will secrete only the most sensual oils and goos to produce a effect like rubbing your body up against a donner kebab, small fries and a Tango please, mate.

Face Grinder -Masochistic? Bored? War Amputee? You need the Thor Facegrinder 2000 3000 3002. Capable of punishing naughty boys up to 3000 (and 2) times per minute. Batteries not included.

Some kind of long, thing. For ladies - You know what I mean, lads, ladies, ladles. A baguette.

But the Clone Army Carnal Catalogue is not going to fill itself so plug your ideas on this thread and...come on my face. I mean. come up with a new sex toy.

actwithoutwords

It looks just like my fist!

hpmons

#2
1. flavoured condom.


2. Pocket glory hole.

MuteBanana

Pocket glory hole would be a great pub joke to pull out when trying to chat someone up.

ThickAndCreamy

Smarty Pants - A converted tube of smarties that has a pneumatic action plunger on one side and is filled with lube mixed with chocolate and a vibrating puppet face. The head pops up and vibrates drastically whilst you ingest the liquid. The chocolate is for 'fun' and to get your partner to clean up - "with sexual consequences". Could also be sold as a makeshift jack in the box to chidren and as a rather effective way to enlarge your genitalia.

The new way to go down on your girlfriend.
WITH A PLUNGER!

Retinend