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Fuck You, I Won't Buy What You Sell Me

Started by Jumble Cashback, December 09, 2009, 12:35:00 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Hank_Kingsley

Kunt and The Gang would have been a far more interesting choice for the campaign.

chand

Quote from: Sanguine Penguin on December 09, 2009, 05:36:31 PM
Finding out that Sony BMG controls the RATM back catalogue is a bit like discovering that Aleister Crowley once owned the copyright to the Bible.

They always got heavily criticised for being signed to Sony, their defence was always that it was easier for them to get their message out on a major label than if they'd signed to an indie.

The Plunger

Quote from: waste of chops on December 09, 2009, 08:53:31 PM
Just noticed that Popjustice has proposed an interesting alternative campaign

Popjustice don't seem to actually be proposing this as a viable alternative (they'd look pretty foolish following their article quoted earlier in the thread). Having said that, their wording is slightly ambiguous :

QuoteThere are a few reasons for 'Fifty Grand For Christmas' being a more subversive pick than Rage's 'Killing In The Name'.

1. It was released on an independent label which, for people who care about such things, is presumably better than being on the same label as all Simon Cowell's X Factor singles.

2. The single only reached Number 35 when it was originally released in 2004, but back then chartable legal downloads weren't quite what they are today. A Number One for the same song in 2009 would prove that, in the last five years, things have fundamentally changed and the internet now does have a power it didn't have back then. People power blah blah blah.

3. If it was Number One Simon Cowell would actually have to hand over fifty thousand pounds, which isn't much in the grand scheme of Cowell's bank balance but fifty grand is still fifty grand, and this ghost of five Christmases past coming back to haunt him in 2009 would probably be interpretable, if one was so inclined, as some sort of thing about karma or something.

4. Melodically at least, the song is actually brilliant, with the best faux-Wall Of Sound Christmas chorus since Mariah's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'. We know it's a novelty single and everything but come on, in all seriousness, what a tune, right?

To be clear on this, we're not trying to start a campaign for this to replace the Rage Against The Machine track or anything, but 'Fifty Grand For Christmas' is available on iTunes if you want to investigate, and it's clearly the better song here.

boki

A much more amusing campaign, although it just wouldn't be remotely feasible, would be for everybody but the X-Factor muppets to buy nothing from a chart-eligible site that week, making it, like, sooooo the hollowest victory and most pathetic-looking xmas no.1 evarrrrrrr.  But that just couldn't happen on a whole bunch of levels. 

boki

Quote from: SavageHedgehog on December 09, 2009, 08:05:19 PM
Why can't something fun be No. 1, like Der Kommissar by Falco? It's about drugs and in German which makes it twice as anarchic as anything by those Peter Pan rebel rousers.
What's anarchic about listening to a German at xmas?  It's the only regular TV slot the queen bloody gets!

Yes, I know Falco was Austrian, don't ruin it

23 Daves

Quote from: Artemis on December 09, 2009, 06:44:16 PM


I'd rather Sir Cliff got backing than Rage though - I used to like the days he'd saunter onto the scene with a cringeworthy Christmas song.

Sir Cliff hasn't had a number one this decade, to the best of my knowledge.  This would make the noughties the first decade he hasn't managed to get to the very Top of the Pops - now that's a worry.

As for RATM, I joined in on the Jeff Buckley buying thing last year, and I can't be bothered to argue why again - but I shall be giving RATM a wide berth this year.  Why?  Because far apart from anything else, "Killing in the Name Of" is fucking shit.  Whatever Cowell spews out this year, it won't be half as annoying as that load of half-baked, inarticulate, ranty, chest-beating, steaming pile of wannabe-rebellious horseshit. 

Seriously, you couldn't escape "Killing in the Name Of" at one point in the nineties.  Every alternative nightclub you went to played the bloody thing, and the dancefloor always filled with these little teenage bastards with fluffy beards who'd flick beer at each other and grunt.  "Fuck you, I won't tidy my room!" you could hear them thinking to themselves.  Now I've finally got to a point in my life where I can actually go out and not put up with such drivel, I really could happily live without this song having a revival, thank you.  A marketing exec at Sony thought this up, you say?  I'm not surprised.  I'll be whoever they are, they undo a couple of their shirt buttons, untie their pony tails and have a good old mosh to this at industry parties. 

biggytitbo

Cliff had the Millennium Prayer in 2000 didn't he, the bible bashing bell-end?

I'd definitely like to see Kunt and the Gang at number one, they represent all that is good whilst the X Factor represent all that is dark and evil.

#67
Quote from: Hank_Kingsley on December 09, 2009, 09:04:59 PM
Kunt and The Gang would have been a far more interesting choice for the campaign.
What have Phorm got to do with this?
(and don't you mean 'phar')

Edit - Oh, that Kunt and The Gang. For some reason I thought for a minute there you were talking about Ertugrul and his adware minions.

Quote from: chand on December 09, 2009, 09:49:26 PM
their defence was always that it was easier for them to get their message out on a major label than if they'd signed to an indie.
Ah the old destroy the system from within gambit, I'm guessing that as Sony are still going are they're not it didn't work out too well for them.

Maybe they'll now reform.

CaledonianGonzo

Quote from: Sanguine Penguin on December 09, 2009, 10:36:27 PMMaybe they'll now reform.

I saw them last year at brewery-sponsored pop event T in the Park.

They played their Christmas #2.

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 09, 2009, 10:34:27 PMCliff had the Millennium Prayer in 2000 didn't he, the bible bashing bell-end?

I'd definitely like to see Kunt and the Gang at number one, they represent all that is good whilst the X Factor represent all that is dark and evil.

Move It > Arranged Bride

23 Daves

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 09, 2009, 10:34:27 PM
Cliff had the Millennium Prayer in 2000 didn't he, the bible bashing bell-end?


The Millennium Prayer was never number one in this decade.  It peaked in the nineties.  Therefore, Cliff only has a few weeks left to make the noughties the sixth decade he's had a number one single. 

There probably would be a Facebook campaign to ensure this were it not for the fact that most of Cliff's fans can't understand the new-fangled Internet. 

biggytitbo

Ahh Millennium Prayer, the worst song ever recorded, was number one December 4, 1999 - December 18 so he missed out by just 2 weeks!

That's amused me quite a lot.

non capisco

I'm sure this is hardly an original observation, but I saw the video for 'Saviour's Day' again on some best Christmas videos thing the other day and the bit at the end where Cliff and all his mates are on a clifftop swaying about looks exactly like Lord Summerisle and his followers at the end of the Wicker Man. There really needs to be someone burning to death in a giant pagan construct monged onto the end of that video.

PaulTMA

Quote from: non capisco on December 10, 2009, 12:11:04 AM
I'm sure this is hardly an original observation, but I saw the video for 'Saviour's Day' again on some best Christmas videos thing the other day and the bit at the end where Cliff and all his mates are on a clifftop swaying about looks exactly like Lord Summerisle and his followers at the end of the Wicker Man. There really needs to be someone burning to death in a giant pagan construct monged onto the end of that video.

Or he rides out of a giant turd emanating from Jeff Buckley's arse.

easytarget



Quote from: Jemble Fred on December 09, 2009, 01:21:18 PM
I think you cynics should reconsider your stance now that it's been revealed that NEIL BUCHANAN IS SUPPORTING IT!
Quote
BBC 6MUSIC (Shaun Keaveny/Music Week), PHILL JUPITUS, BILL BAILEY, SKY NEWS, KERRANG!, JOHNNY LYDON (Sex Pistols/PIL), BBC RADIO 1, METAL HAMMER, ABSOLUTE RADIO (Matt Berry PLEASE do my mobile's voicemail message! love Jon), YAHOO!, GIGWISE, DROWNED IN SOUND, CHANNEL 5, ORANGE NEWS, ENTER SHIKARI, FALL OUT BOY, XFM, ROSS NOBLE, SKIN, GRAHAM BONNET, PHANTOM FM Dublin, LENNY HENRY, BBC RADIO 5LIVE (Kate Silverton), JACK RYDER, NEIL BUCHANAN, TOM MALCOLM (Twestival), MARTINE McCUTCHEON, ANDY SCOTT-LEE, DARREN HAYES, FIGHTSTAR, MALCOLM MIDDLETON, GET CAPE WEAR CAPE FLY, MAGISTRATES, THE CRAVE, TONY RUDD, and of course SEABROOK CRISPS!

Skin are involved? That's unbelievable*!

*that's a delightfully clever reference to the aforementioned BritRock band covering the EMF hit of the same name in about 1994.

Christ, Skin were shit.


biggytitbo


SavageHedgehog

If people really wanted to embarass Cowell they should get Ruff Mix by Wonder Dog to No. 1. I think that's probably his finest hour but apparently he disagrees rather strongly.

spanky

Wasn't Simon Cowell behind the WWF singles in the 90s too? The man got the Undertaker to rap, and people say he's doing a disservice to music.

variant

Are The Muppets releasing their Bohemian Rhapsody effort? I'd buy that simply because even though its a cover it has jokes and explosions and all the good stuff that made the Muppets great.

Also if the real Muppets got to xmas number 1 then it would be more of a 2-fingers up to the muppets on the X-Factor than RATM would be.

Duckula

I hope this picks up some speed.

Drownedinsound set up a group to get Sufjan Stevens into the christmas charts - http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&ref=mf&gid=196894760422#/group.php?gid=196894760422&ref=mf

chand

Fucking hell, I may as well start my campaign to get some of my stuff to Christmas number 1 then. Almost all my tracks instrumental, usually painfully long, it has zero production sheen, and I not only release mp3s for nowt but I send actual CDs out using my own money and thus run at an actual loss...I couldn't be any more the opposite of X Factor. I also have just over 1,000 myspace plays in four fucking years, probably 200 of which were me checking that tracks actually worked.

Uncle TechTip

So now all the campaign songs will chart at no. 20 or so thanks to splitting of the sales base, whilst the XFactor song romps home unfettered by challengers. Nice work.

boki

Is it too late to shut down all of these campaigns (especially 'Shaddap You Face') and go for 'Santa Claus Is On the Dole' instead?  Is that still available?  It's surprising how much stuff you still can't get on iTunes.

23 Daves

Quote from: SavageHedgehog on December 10, 2009, 08:57:34 AM
If people really wanted to embarass Cowell they should get Ruff Mix by Wonder Dog to No. 1. I think that's probably his finest hour but apparently he disagrees rather strongly.

Unfortunately I think that's no longer available because Cowell doesn't like it being available. 

I loved "Ruff Mix" when I was a kid.  It had me in stitches.  Listening to it as a grown adult, on the other hand, I do have to wonder where I thought the joke actually was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw0yfiRz9zY

Uncle TechTip

It's on loads of Italo Disco compilations and the like. He doesn't hold the copyright on it. As an adult I still think it's a great song, if you're a fan of proto-electronic dance music anyway. It was an obscure album track by German knob-twiddler Harry Thumann, which Cowell heard and thought, "I could make a hit out of that". And so a leg-end was born. I quite liked the dry approach he took to it on that clip above - "least favourite artist? Cat Stevens of course"

George Oscar Bluth II

Campaign should have been for Everyone's Gone to the Moon.

Spiteface

Quote from: spanky on December 10, 2009, 09:50:56 AM
Wasn't Simon Cowell behind the WWF singles in the 90s too? The man got the Undertaker to rap, and people say he's doing a disservice to music.

When was that? Was Undertaker doing his biker gimmick then?  It would be even more awesome if he was still trying to be a Zombie...

I still remember the Power Rangers single.  that was one of Cowell's first big hits, apparently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8XZ7B3jWC0

I had the album.  It was awesome, the single was the weakest track on it (the album was the soundtrack to the TV show).

Ignatius_S

Quote from: easytarget on December 10, 2009, 05:57:29 AM



Skin are involved? That's unbelievable*!

*that's a delightfully clever reference to the aforementioned BritRock band covering the EMF hit of the same name in about 1994.

Christ, Skin were shit.
Could be the singer, rather than the band?

spanky

Quote from: Spiteface on December 10, 2009, 03:57:18 PM
When was that? Was Undertaker doing his biker gimmick then?  It would be even more awesome if he was still trying to be a Zombie...

'92, but I've remembered it wrong. He didn't rap so much as recite a catchphrase (although it still kills his character to see the undead wearing headphones), along with Randy Savage, Bret Hart and Davey Boy Smith. The rapping is by some MC no name; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFpAD36d48o

Simon Cowell's listed as executive producer for the album with SAW taking songwriting credits - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WrestleMania:_The_Album

Genuinely terrifying all round, yet I loved Slam Jam at the time.

easytarget

Quote from: Ignatius_S on December 10, 2009, 04:28:47 PM
Could be the singer, rather than the band?
In that case my joke wouldn't work.
Back to the drawing board to see if I can work up a pun involving Little Baby Swastikkka.

sirhenry

I may just be a paranoid old fucker, but if this is mentioned on X Factor won't they use it to get even more people to buy their shit? "We'll show them!"

Won't they though?