NEW! Women's Magazine Headlines - 100% Recycled Memes!

[Phil_A]

Ahh, I just I felt like doing a few more of these.

30 Years Happily Married - to ABE LINCOLN'S KILLER!

Expanding Dracula cured my fear of ladders...but now my son is a MINCING GAY

Accused of Rape - but BITTER EX manipulated my penis by REMOTE CONTROL

Claimed to be my Husband From The Future - so why was his Time Machine just a Shoebox full of OLD WIRES?

How my darling dead daughter predicted lottery numbers - THROUGH A PSYCHIC CAT!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Shot by my bookmakers budgie.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

My Brave Baby: Drop-Kicked by STUPID TOSSER

Dishy DEREK ACORAH really put the WILLIES up me

I Finally Found My Father - And It's COW HITLER

Silly Cunt: My TALKING VAGINA Is An INTERNATIONALLY-RENOWNED AFTER-DINNER SPEAKER

I like big SEX WITH UNDERAGE KIDS And I Cannot Lie

CARDBOARD WIFE SOGGY WITHIN DAYS

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Bottom of the class- but he raped his way into my heart!

- A School Teacher's Story.

[AsparagusTrevor]

SHAT ON by Husband
My chin DETACHED in ALDI
My Marriage to a OXO CUBE

[the midnight watch baboon]

I went FELL walking... and ended up MARRIED... to PHILIP LARKIN RIP!!!

DIVORCED! And I'm not even MARRIED!

Why I'll Never Trust Love Rats AGAIN

[Ginyard]

SUNSHINE?! Suzi was walking on crutches by the time I'd finished with HER

MY loud QUIET speech IMPEDIMENT shock HORROR!

[AsparagusTrevor]

TOBOGONNING - My Secret Shame
I fell asleep and woke up GINGER
ARRESTED for dressing up as CILLA

[mycroft]

My toddler's years in BEREAVEMENT COUNCELLING - for ANTHONY EDEN!

I bottle oxygen - GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

The FILMS of BURT LANCASTER!!

RUBBISH TIP RAPE MONSTER (actually, I cheated on this one - it's an actual headline from yesterday's Sun)

[ThickAndCreamy]

ABORTING your child to make a DECORATIVE ORNAMENT... IS IT SO WRONG?

Forgive me lord, for I have WEED IN MY BISHOPS GOBLET

[Cambrian Times]

MY DOG is the reincarnation of HITLER!

My beauty regime : THE BLOOD OF YOUNG VIRGINS!


AMANDA HOLDEN: What Les Dennis is really like IN BED!

Piers Morgan: MY pact with LORD SATAN - The day I MET MANDELSON!

[boki]

My BABY Kevin posts to internet comedy forum...and my sex life's NEVER BEEN BETTER!

JACK BAUER: 101 reasons why he's a DIRTY RAT BASTARD

[the midnight watch baboon]

STUBBED my big toe... But I still love my children

Plumber MENDED my boiler! Read Janet's incredible real-life story inside...

PSYCHIC pet dog Trudy PREDICTED my PERIOD

[Tbazz Why?]

My HEARTBRAKING innumerate SON - His Sodoku HELL!

TRAPPED in my Step Fathers Sex DUNGEON - Our beautiful 10 YEAR Anniversary Pics!

I got PICKED UP at my husbands FUNERAL! - One womans conveniant grief.

"Bin Tang helped me sing like an Angel!" - My drunken BUDGET Bali Lung TRANSPLANT

[biniput]

I married a Lamp _ Don't judge me!

Bowel transplants - My addiction

Cats, Bats and Twats - My neighbourhood!

My tumbledryer can talk to ghosts

The table tennis champion parasitic twin!!

[hpmons]

Condoms and Cuddling - My Consensual Sex HELL

My Hubby Told Me "You Lost The Game" - ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT!

I Was Born With a USB Port for a Tummy Button!

FORCED To Read War and Peace By My SADISTIC Uncle

My HIPPOCAMPUS Can Remember The PAST!

[Subtle Mocking]

A panther STOLE my daughter's poetry - and won a GRAND!

[Neville Chamberlain]

TRAPPED inside a CRYPTIC CROSSWORD!!!?!!!?!?!?!???!!!!!!

FORCE-FED dry rice and boiling water - my STOMACH-POPPING Japanese torture HELL!!??!

My son borrowed some books from his university's European Studies department - and DIDN'T GIVE THEM BACK!??!?!!!

I found a message in a bottle IN MY BOTTOM!!!?!?!?!

[Ginyard]

I posted my bottle in a most unusual looking bottle BANK!

[Neville Chamberlain]

Leslie Crowther alive in well - IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Subtle Mocking]

Jailed for loving - and now I'm BLACK!

[Neville Chamberlain]

How I fixed my Toyota's jammed accelerator - USING SUSHI AND JAM!!!!!!!!!!?!???!!!!!!!?!?!!

[Blumf]

My DOG channels the SPIRIT of General Pinochet

My PELVIS is claustrophobic - Can it ever FIND love?

[Subtle Mocking]

My heart was made of TURMERIC - and I never knew!

[Ginyard]

I came home and my lego had formed into a giant VAGINA!

[Neville Chamberlain]

The day I discovered my motherboard was made of EARWAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I left my son to die
But he survived!

[Subtle Mocking]

Noel Edmonds STOLE my trumpet - and sold it to buy PRINGLES!

[Neville Chamberlain]

My Liverpool semi was overrun by baboons!!!!!!!????!!!!!?!?!?!!!

[Subtle Mocking]

Had an affair with a BADGER - now I'm DIABETIC!