NEW! Women's Magazine Headlines - 100% Recycled Memes!

[Ginyard]

Left for dead on a mountain of baked bean cans, now I'm JESUS!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The day I farted in church

[Neville Chamberlain]

The day I farted in church

Richard Dawkins EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!

[Neville Chamberlain]

MY GLUE EAR HELL!!!!!!!!!????!!!!!?!?!?!!!!!!

[weirdbeard]

How I fell in LOVE with my PERINEUM!

[ThickAndCreamy]

My PENIS is CLAUSTROPHOBIC! Is Nudism the only answer?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

JEDWARD Ruptured My Heart/Anus

I Fell In Love WITH MY PREVIOUS INCARNATION

Glass Table SQUATTING With Dishy HELMUT KOHL

Former Friday Fun Thread Topic - WHERE WERE YOU BASTARDS THEN?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Evil Vicar Made Me A Lesbian - OUT OF WAFERS

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Born Into A Womb - So I had to do it all again

[Cerys]

Only a bowl of mint choc chip - but my tongue SHATTERED!

[falafel]

Mum Sold My Labia - FOR SOCKS

[Jemble Fred]

I don't know NOTHING.

TURNED DOWN by ROLF'S CARTOON CLUB! – "I will never forgive."

PATRONISED by my own TITS.

EastEnders' Billy Mitchell is my FAVOURITE.

[the midnight watch baboon]

DIRTY DRAMATURGICAL DYAD DUMPED on my DILLS!

Dara O'Briain COCKED my WEEK!

Fictional HELL: My REAL LIFE story

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Five thousand million gallons of urine in belljars- and that was just for STARTERS

[gmoney]

Married to a ROCKING HORSE - What will the NEIGH-bours think?

BULLIED for being Mrs HARIBO

I lost the GHOST of my MUM in a POKER GAME

85 and never had a my PERIOD - One man's tale!

[Milo]

I'm really disappointed in my children.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I'm really disappointed in my children.

Don't you mean

My Children Are SHIT - Especially HIM

?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Born Twice- With A Spider ON My Head

[Neville Chamberlain]

My Why I'll Never Forgive My Parents For Making Me Be Born In Runcorn Hell Pot

[the midnight watch baboon]

Salty old Seadog had salty old SEMEN!!!

[Nik Drou]

Joe Pasquale MADE Me Laugh.

I Hate My Life And Sometimes Wish I Would Just Keel Over And DIET!! - Tips inside!

Doctor Dirty's Dirty Den of COCK JOUSTING! - Tips inside!

FRY Me To The 'SHROOM!

GRIND Me To The BROOM!

REMIND Me To Tell You About The Time I Was Set Upon By Then-Prime Minister Sir Alec Douglas-HOME! (pronounced HUME!)

[weirdbeard]

I EDUCATED my DAUGHTER with my NIPPLES!

How I found LOVE in a GRAVE!

PAEDOPHILED by my own HORSE!

I lost my VIRGINITY to a BISCUIT!

HAUNTED by a JACKAL.

[biggytitbo]

- I woke up and I was BELGIUM
- I married a COBWEB by ACCIDENT
- GANGRAPED by PANTOMINE HORSES.

[dr_christian_troy]

DENTIST removed my WOMB

OBESITY: a 'FAT'al problem

How I found LOVE in Dad's CELLAR

CAUGHT on film by a CAMERA

ABDUCTION... or SUMMER ROMANCE?

How I SURVIVED my own BIRTH

Inside: FREE subscription to the BIG ISSUE

I was RAPED by a PIPE

[Neville Chamberlain]

My Robin Cousins Vampire Cartography Hell!!!??!???!?!?!?!??!?!!!!?!

(story yet to be invented - ed.)

[Glebe]

Happily Married... To his own newborn twinlings!

I Gave My Wife A Present She'll Never Forget... Three weeks in an immigrant center!

I'm In Love... With my nephew's pet chinchilla!

I Have A Healthy Diet... Of fried eclaires!

[hummingofevil]

I gave birth to my own vagina... and now my husband HATES her!

I died on the operating table... and now I am dead!

The love of my children gave me cancer.

The postman knocked ONCE!

Jesus told me I was always right.

Michael Jackson comforted me (though he didn't live to recall the anecdote).

Gordon Brown stole my bad eye.

[phes]

M8E - Our sms bubblebath mixup.

[Emma Raducanu]

I hoovered up my own feet

I forgot to pick my son up from school - 12 page funeral pullout

The entire history of the world is just MY dream, now I'm ready to wake up

Back from Iraq - The soldier who lost everything but his head and a finger

Why I left my city job to wipe tables at McDonalds

[Glebe]

My Best Friend's Hoover... is sucking my husband's cock!

Left For Dead... the budgie that bit it's master.

I'll Never Drink Again... after hen-night shits!

My Wife Can't Cook... so I shoved her in the microwave!