Author Topic: Shit Trailers  (Read 2560 times)

Jumble Cashback

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Shit Trailers
« on: February 10, 2010, 01:09:15 AM »
This thread adheres to the Ronseal-ian principle of self-representation.  So, your nominations for shittest trailer of all time, please.  No strict definition of shit trailer applies (so if, for example, the film itself is shit and the trailer merely does a perfect job of representing it, that's fine.  Alternatively, if a trailer is shit simply because it completely misrepresents the film it is advertising, that's fine too.  Anything goes.)

Here's a dung-heap to get us started:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW7B-UNWk4s

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2010, 02:14:54 AM »
Quote
Boogie Town, a modern day West Side Story for the hip hop generation, takes place in a New York City of the near future.
Due for release in 2010:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z99sVFQ2liM
Quote
The film has been described as You Got Served meets Twilight.

Jemble Fred

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2010, 08:33:06 AM »
I've never been that sensitive to 'trailers that give the whole movie away', until I saw the one for The Lovely Bones. The films looks like appalling muck anyway, but that trailer's just a joke, I swear it must stop short about five minutes from the end of the narrative. Poor old Stanley Tucci, he should know better.

Santa's Boyfriend

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2010, 09:05:59 AM »
Perhaps a bit unfair because the trailer is considerably better than the film, but here's The Room:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCj8sPCWfUw

I notice nobody is attributed to the quotes at the end.

(Oh and it's pitched as a black comedy at the end too, which the film is blatantly not supposed to be.)

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2010, 11:14:34 AM »
It's so badly edited and flat it seems like a rough cut. I remember it from the 'True Romance' video I had:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8D0ckow0ck

Ja'moke

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2010, 11:33:09 AM »
Fans of Get This! will recognise this one, for the unreleased Australian film Meat Pie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JxXoo1aST8

Fa Cé-La

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2010, 08:40:24 PM »
It's so badly edited and flat it seems like a rough cut. I remember it from the 'True Romance' video I had:

That's a really strange trailer alright. So many bits in it are played at the pace of a film as opposed to the pace of a trailer. That bit where you just see Batman climbing for a bit is especially unimpressive and terrible. It's actually similar to the first trailer released for Burton's 'Batman' which was edited together from a rough cut and released early in an attempt to calm down the fans who were crying their eyes out over the casting of Keaton.

An tSaoi

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2010, 08:56:13 PM »
This trailer has it all, terrible voiceover, corny dialogue ("Kill... or be killed"), uninspired song choice, and the horrible compulsion to fade to black between each shot. You won't be surprised to hear that the film itself is also woeful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyhEHKB6cmY

This trailer tells you everything you need to know about the film. In fact, it tells you so much that you can skip the actual film without missing a thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLbEGkjmTxg

mycroft

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2010, 09:07:39 PM »
(Batman trailer)

Weirdest thing about that is it seems to be using takes from scenes that weren't used in the finished film (I saw it a lot as a kid, and can therefore remember the exact way everyone said everything).

On a similar theme, this trailer for the proper Transformers movie uses a lot of bits that didn't turn up in the eventual article, as well as being ridiculously spoiler-filled...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvoAxeykxwc

Jumble Cashback

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2010, 09:08:41 PM »
It's also weird that the Batman Forever trailer uses a shit cut of the Elfman music, which wasn't even in the film.  Visually, there's not a huge a amount wrong with the trailer that you would notice if the soundtrack on it worked, but, as it is, it just seems impossibly bad.

Well, here's another heroically awful ulcer of a trailer.  This time, from our own soil:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA-__WzEI0E

After the violation of seeing the trailer, how they expected anyone to wade through the whole washed out, 16mm, sordid gunge of a film is beyond me.  I was also staggered to discover that there were 7 sequels, a 2001 revamp and several spin-offs and remakes.  I have absolutely no idea why.

Jumble Cashback

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2010, 09:20:31 PM »
Weirdest thing about that is it seems to be using takes from scenes that weren't used in the finished film (I saw it a lot as a kid, and can therefore remember the exact way everyone said everything).

On a similar theme, this trailer for the proper Transformers movie uses a lot of bits that didn't turn up in the eventual article, as well as being ridiculously spoiler-filled...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvoAxeykxwc

To be fair, pretty much all the footage in that trailer is in the movie (albeit with some colour substitutions on Ultra Magnus), but the fact that they tell you what happens at the end (and even signpost the spoiler, so you know it's going to ruin the ending) is inexcusable.

samadriel

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2010, 09:23:16 PM »
All that bit with the good guys running into a fortress and it swinging out all the guns and shooting at Megatron etc wasn't in the movie, was it?  I don't remember it from the opening fight, and I pretty much have that movie memorised.

Love that narrator, I think he did some sleazy trailer narration for Manga Video as well.  Appropriate considering their output.

An tSaoi

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2010, 09:25:00 PM »
This trailer is horribly assembled. Like Four Brothers, it tries to make that switch from peace and serenity ('Good times' as JLC would say) to action and terror ('Bad times'); where the first part of the trailer is idyllic, making way for the madness representative of the rest of the film. That in itself is a pretty lousy and tired formula, made worse by the fact that the 'bad times' part of the trailer is rubbish. Ooh look - broken eggs! Gasp - a man's face! Jinkies - a badly lit shot where you can't tell what's going on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzpzpe_8gHQ

This trailer for Blade Runner makes it look like bloody Judge Dredd. Awful voiceover too. And how about that 'song' towards the end?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNxNqvpaat0

Jumble Cashback

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2010, 09:34:32 PM »
All that bit with the good guys running into a fortress and it swinging out all the guns and shooting at Megatron etc wasn't in the movie, was it?  I don't remember it from the opening fight, and I pretty much have that movie memorised.

Love that narrator, I think he did some sleazy trailer narration for Manga Video as well.  Appropriate considering their output.

Yup, the fortress scene's in it.  I remember being disappointed because it didn't turn into Metroplex, the robot city from the 3rd series.  The narrator is great, he did the T.V. series too, right from the very first episode and was always on hand to do recaps in multi-parters.  I have no idea how the series manages to hold on to its stellar voice cast, but it was worth it.

samadriel

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2010, 09:41:22 PM »
Auntie: It's a shit fan trailer.  Here's the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND7tU8JME_g

Jeez, just when you think you're in the clear they hit you with 'Rockefeller Skank'.

Jumble Cashback

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2010, 09:41:55 PM »
Aww, moved from GB.  Bang goes the thread traffic.  Ho hum.

An tSaoi

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2010, 09:44:11 PM »
Auntie: It's a shit fan trailer.

Yeah, I realised it was fan made and edited it out. Anyway...

This trailer must hold the record for 'longest time to get going':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojhGdRSkiUw

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2010, 09:45:25 PM »
Weirdest thing about that is it seems to be using takes from scenes that weren't used in the finished film (I saw it a lot as a kid, and can therefore remember the exact way everyone said everything).

This seems to be a running thing with Batman films. The trailer for 'Batman' (1989) used different takes ("My life is really complex") and 'The Dark Knight' trailer used several different takes (The Joker saying 'Here's my card' is notably different in the trailer). It's a common thing though isn't it? You can see why they do it. Certain takes with emphasis on different words work better in a trailer than they do in the context of a whole scene.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 10:09:12 PM by lipsink »

samadriel

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2010, 09:47:44 PM »

mycroft

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2010, 09:50:00 PM »
Yup, the fortress scene's in it.

Nah, there's definitely bits in that trailer that aren't in the finished film - Megatron dodging blasts while mid-flight doesn't turn up in the final cut, or that bit with various Autobots being swooped at by bad guys. It's more individual shots I was meaning though, like some of the sequence of Unicron devouring the planet (we only see one claw going in in the film, we get two in that trailer, for example).

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2010, 10:05:11 PM »
There was a supremely shit trailer for 'Look Who's Talking Too' that must have been made way before the film was finished because it said it was going to star Richard Pryor (as the role that eventually went to Damon Wayans). The trailer even used a bit of Pryor's dialogue from 'See No Evil, Hear No Evil' ("I've heard that song before, pal!")

I can't seem to find it on YouTube but I seem to remember the 'Superman: The Movie' trailer on the Superman boxset was made before they'd even cast the lead role. And they used some rubbish photo of Gene Hackman.

Jumble Cashback

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #21 on: February 10, 2010, 10:24:16 PM »
Nah, there's definitely bits in that trailer that aren't in the finished film - Megatron dodging blasts while mid-flight doesn't turn up in the final cut, or that bit with various Autobots being swooped at by bad guys. It's more individual shots I was meaning though, like some of the sequence of Unicron devouring the planet (we only see one claw going in in the film, we get two in that trailer, for example).

Fair enough, but I think it's a little harsh to suggest that it's guilty of misrepresentation.  I think the spoiler is easily justification enough for its presence here though.

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2010, 10:28:44 PM »
There was a supremely shit trailer for 'Look Who's Talking Too' that must have been made way before the film was finished because it said it was going to star Richard Pryor (as the role that eventually went to Damon Wayans). The trailer even used a bit of Pryor's dialogue from 'See No Evil, Hear No Evil' ("I've heard that song before, pal!")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7VwydUKoqM
Shocking. Apparently there was an even earlier teaser trailer at the end of the first film which featured the voice of Joan Rivers, but she then turned down the role.

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2010, 10:35:52 PM »
To be fair, pretty much all the footage in that trailer is in the movie (albeit with some colour substitutions on Ultra Magnus), but the fact that they tell you what happens at the end (and even signpost the spoiler, so you know it's going to ruin the ending) is inexcusable.

The bit about how it'll "bring back audiences again and again" makes me think it could be a trailer aimed at persuading cinema owners to show the film. Same as this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc1wiOueXAo

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2010, 09:00:35 AM »
On a similar theme, this trailer for the proper Transformers movie uses a lot of bits that didn't turn up in the eventual article, as well as being ridiculously spoiler-filled...

I believe that is a trailer that was shown to distributors to convince them to show the film rather than one shown to the public. So they were probably hoping they'd all think "I better show this film as everyone will be blown away by the shock of [spoiler]the Orson Welles planet turning out to be[/spoiler] a robot and tell their friends/come back multiple times"

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2010, 09:45:55 AM »
not shit trailers but i always remember the strange atmosphere on some of the trailers on videos like evil dead 2 and coen brothers films. they were usually palace pictures films. near dark, slamdance and about last night stick in my mind as they were all strangely laid back and melancholy when most trailers are more wham bam in your face.

Phil_A

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2010, 06:52:34 PM »
This trailer for Blade Runner makes it look like bloody Judge Dredd. Awful voiceover too. And how about that 'song' towards the end?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNxNqvpaat0
I don't see what the problem is with that one. It sums up the downbeat mood of the film pretty well, and doesn't seem to really mis-sell it in any way. The only bit that rings false is when he says "they were looking for me!" which clearly wasn't the case. "That song" by the way(The Ink Spots "If I Didn't Care") was originally chosen for a particular scene in the film(just before Rachel shoots Leon) but presumably wasn't able to be cleared, so they got Vangelis do the Ink Spots pastiche "One More Kiss, Dear" instead.

Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2010, 07:01:02 PM »
Never knew that was a pastiche, always just assumed it was a real old-timey song.

EDIT: Now listening to If I Didn't Care and it sounds libel-worthily similar to the pastiche.

dr_christian_troy

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2010, 02:23:01 AM »
Not shit as such, more frustrating than anything else - on the one hand it does use extracts from Jerry Goldsmith's criminally unreleased 'The Burbs' soundtrack and the 'Tales From The Crypt' theme, but on the other, there are several parts of the trailer that were never included in the final cut of the film, such as Madeline being defrosted, some more deaths, and the entire Tracey Ullman character:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7sMilQeVHk

kidsick5000

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Re: Shit Trailers
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2010, 02:43:57 AM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW7B-UNWk4s

I have to ask...Is that a real film? It got released and everything? Sean Connery just never learnt about doing fantasy films did he.
How does stuff like that get made so badly. And Trevor Howard's in it too. And poor old Peter Cushing.

Also, there's a point a which they should have realised they even got the wrong voice over guy at 2:05. "Fighting the Tweachery awound him"