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Valentines Day poo-ems (love....poetry II)

Started by dandoystevski, February 12, 2010, 02:54:23 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Roses aer rec
Voilets are bjue
Myt yping is shiet
...Anal?

dandoystevski

#31
The Prime Minister's Brown
and so are my pants
if the Tories get in
i'm moving to France

Jemble Fred

Roses are red,
Inspiration is dead,
I just wanted to get on
Page two of this thread.

dandoystevski

Your lipstick is red
but i don't care if you've slap-on
i won't be looking at your face


























coz i think i've left the gas on

Small Man Big Horse

Roses are blood stained,
As is much of your face,
Next year on Valentine's Day,
Let's not travel back in time to the Mesozoic Era, and just stay in at your place.

Cerys

Roses are Roses are Ro
ses Are
oses R they?
NO CARRIER

gmoney

Moët is pricey,
But horse tranqs are cheap,
I've done seven grams,
See you next week.

the midnight watch baboon

Rosé is pink,
Though some call it blush,
I'm not going down,
As it seems you have thrush.

Consignia

Roses are boring,
Violets are silly,
Grease up your flaps,
Here comes my willy

Kishi the Bad Lampshade

#39
My cock is red
And I'm feeling blue
Because I've got herpes
And now so do you

Last year's gift was shit
This one's even shittier
For twenty-eleven
A case of chlamydia

My darling, this year you look
Simply ethereal
I tried so hard not to
Get something venereal
Sadly it seems I just
Can't help the urges
And the STD stats here
Have gone up in surges
That's why I wrote you
Something so extra-long -
why did you spend three years
with my diseased dong?
I must know the answer,
am I that fun to fuck?
Thanks, and please respond,
Signed, ziggy starbucks

the midnight watch baboon

Roses are red,
But violets aren't blue,
The clue's in the name,
Jeez, what a to-do!

Ginyard

Rose West is red
Fred West is Blue
So were his victims
As you'll find out too

X

Cambrian Times

Roses are red
Daisies are white
Darling you're chucked
Cos in bed you are shite


Jemble Fred

Roses are red,
And fucking expensive,
But as a quick empty gesture,
They're less labour-intensive.


sirarthur

Roses are pointy,
Violets are blunt,
Get on your back,
And I'll look at your front.

Ginyard

There once was a man from West Malling
Who raped his old aunt with tarpaulin
And then she was dead
Wait, this aint the limerick thread
Its a love thread, shit, I feel appaling!

Shoulders?-Stomach!


ziggy starbucks

To Jo

Who made my balls blue?
it was you
it was you

Who made them ache so?
my darling Jo
my darling Jo

Who delivered the testicular ultrasound scan?
'twas your gran
'twas your gran

Will the agonising bollock pain ever end?
your touch mend
your touch mend

Take them in your angelic hands
my sensitive glands
my sensitive glands

Ginyard

^  :)


I wandered lonely as an altocumulus
That floats on high o'er bumpy land,
When all at once I saw a posse
A host of yellow flowers
To the left of the lake, underneath the trees,
Oscillating and crunking in the breeze.

So where you at bitch?
What you on?
Where you off to?
Where my cheerios gone?

So where you at bitch?
What you on?
Where you off to?
Where my cheerios gone?

But I love you
I love you
Love you
You
Ou
U

ziggy starbucks

I give thanks for your love everyday
Then raise my eyes to heaven and pray
That this affair will keep the gossip at bay
And nobody will ever know I'm secretly gay
and my male lover is none other than Peter Kay



ziggy starbucks

Dear Ginyard

I will be your lawful wedded wife
be loving and true for all my life

I will be your partner and muse
I'll cook the tea and fix the fuse

Our lives will merge and become one
Doubts and fears, they will be gone

I will happily go down on bended knee
cos you look just like David Duchovny

ziggy starbucks

Darling kishi

Your face covered by a hand
Is suggestive of an ancient land
Where the ground is fertile, the seed is ripe
Where no one has yet heard of a crack pipe
The orange sun rises in the east
Bringing light to the morning feast

We will sail to that place so fine
Laughing, smiling and sipping wine
And upon that shore our love will grow
as we listen to the Best Of Status Quo
And after you're done squatting on my face
Together we'll give birth to the master race

chumfatty

Roses are red,
Autoglass is clear,
I'm injecting my special resin,
into your ear.

Neville Chamberlain

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like coprophilia
So here's some of my poo!

Roses are red,
And hard to ignore -
This morning Neville
Couldn't open his door.


dr_christian_troy

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a knife,
Get in my van

ziggy starbucks

Your roses are red
the colour of blood
soon you'll be dead
buried in the wood

My violets are blue
the most deathly hue
the colour of your sweet skin
now you're in the wheely bin