Jalopy 2010 - Round 2

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Oh hai guise! Round two already. Coh.

This one goes out to Lyndon, fanny splendid, Zero Gravitas, gmoney, ziggy starbucks, Koant, _Hypnotoad_, Old Thrashbarg, Desi Rascal, DocDaneeka and Repentia.

It's round two. The second round. You have 48 hours - so, until Sunday evening - to hand in your mong. Anyone caught not monging will be disqualified. When the time's up, ozziechef and I are going to judge the shit out of you. Two of the mongs will be deemed unworthy, and the mongers will be expunged forthwith. 800x600 pixels, hide NSFW images behind links, etc., etc.

Over to you.

[Desi Rascal]

May the best mong win.

[Lyndon]

[Repentia]

[ziggy starbucks]

[Zero Gravitas]

God what a steaming pile of shit that is.

[Koant]

[DocDaneeka]

[_Hypnotoad_]

[Zero Gravitas]

Is that it for this one?

[ozziechef]

That's it. Do not mong as your mong will not count and you may be charged.

I will be casting my vote early tomorrow morning when I've got 5 minutes.

[gmoney]

Sorry I didn't do one! I've been away from my computer with gimp on for ages, and the one I tried to knock together this afternoon was so embarrassingly shit I just couldn't post it and show my face.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Nah, go on. It will mean I don't have to knock someone decent out ;)

I think the next round will need to be longer, to be honest - I'm concerned about the drop-out rate. Give people 3 or 4 days instead of 2. Is that ok?

Anyway, I'll post my results tomorrow too. ozzie and I have to choose a person each to join us in the middle, right? Private consultation may need to take place so we don't pick the same person...

[gmoney]

I'm not on the same computer with the monstrosity, fortunately. It involved the Blue Man Group and was shockingly poor in execution. 

[Old Thrashbarg]

Bollocks, not had any time to get anything monged-up over the weekend. I guess that makes me a dropout.

[DocDaneeka]

I think we are going to have an extra 24 hours, so you lot and Fanny should be able to fit yours in.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Really loving these. Yet at the same time I pray my friend never discovers this thread. :)

[Koant]

Ah! I was a bit surprised to see this picture here but assumed you'd been consulted about this beforehand. I hope this is ok.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

It has been decided, following consultation with the Jalopy owner, that we'll give you a bit more time to get your entries in. In the interests of fairness, I suppose we could offer previous entrants the chance to resubmit now they've had more time, but that might not be in the spirit of the thing, so up to you really.

fanny splendid, gmoney, and Old Thrashbarg - if you still want in, there's still time. And future rounds will be a bit longer to accommodate everyone.

[Zero Gravitas]

oops, wrong game.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I assure you I am serious.

[Old Thrashbarg]

Won't have time to get anything done for tonight either, so I'll have to back out. Sorry.

[DocDaneeka]

Oh well is it voting time then? Theres no need to consult eachother it's first come first gets to vote someone out.

[ozziechef]

Lookalike Mark Chapman likes to do his poncy reviews. I like to keep it short and simple:

Desi Rascal: Enough of the Greeting Card Vibe. What do you think this is Clintons?
Lyndon - Black and white AND colour. You better hope the humping dog saves you
repentia - You do know you're supposed to use the original picture don't you?
ziggy starbucks X Factory Parody? Are you Peter Kay? You lost marks for using Sharon Osbourne when we all know she was replaced two series ago
Zero Gravitas Alien.  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Koant I went on one of those rides at Wicksteed Park in the early 90s. Happy days.
DocDaneeka So you think you can win just because it's your game?
Hypnotoad Is that Dr Tony Blair?

Well, drum roll please, leaving the competition at this stage, I'm afraid to say, is ...Hypnotoad. Sorry fella but your mong didn't cut the mustard this time.

Jalopy on the rest of you (apart from whoever LMC evicts)

[_Hypnotoad_]

FUCK YOU PEOPLE

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Thanks everyone who entered again. I checked with Small Man Big Horse, who said that the use of the image was fine, since 'they probably wouldn't see it.' The perfect crime! I'm sorry a few people had to drop out, and I'm really sorry fanny's not going to be in the next round. And why the fuck isn't jutl playing? Gah. As I say, we'll give you a bit longer in the next round, and do pipe up if there's any reason you need an extension (deadline extensions only, please) or want me to hold off posting the next image for a bit.

But yes, on to the reviews.

Desi Rascal - I like it. It is a bit 'greetings card', but why not? You wouldn't actually give it to an expectant mother (who is probably more terrified than chuckling at her impending painful ordeal), and of course it doesn't particularly stand up to logical scrutiny (why would you go for cheap but apparently extremely dangerous private healthcare when the lovely NHS exists?) but we shouldn't quibble when the image is funny. I particularly enjoyed the cigarette and the ultra-unhygienic fingerless surgical gloves.

Lyndon - I like the direction you took here, especially the poster language you employed ("he's zany, she's a woman"). Turning the scene into a romantic comedy was inspired; the fact that it's a romantic comedy about a robot waiter getting a woman pregnant - plus the harrowing suggestion that the baby may be 'thrown out' - adds up to box-office gold. I can only hope this chalk and cheese couple manage to resolve their differences before the credits roll - and can anyone smell 'sequel'?

repentia - ambitious! Changing the viewpoint of a 2D image and recontextualising the ridiculous scene as an event of religious and artistic significance? A bleak near-future of art funded by booze and fast food? The mother of our saviour being distracted from her holy calling by whatever's on the telly? I am, indeed, lovin' it.

ziggy - Lovely stuff. A father and baby two-piece; mother unhappily roped in simply due to the unfortunate fact that baby hasn't been born yet. Imagine the amplification set-up. But the judges are lapping it up. You can almost see Simon rubbing himself vigorously beneath the counter at the thought of the commercial possibilities. Nice cameo from Gilliam's Monty Python foot, as well. You're through to the next round!

zero gravitas - no idea what's going on here (I've not seen any Alien films) but I'm sure it's very clever. It's certainly nicely done, and good to have a complete change of scene for the unwitting couple in question. You say it's a steaming pile of shit, but maybe you just didn't understand it either.

Koant - again, good to move away from the hospital-bed setting. I imagine Mrs SMBH's Friend does that particular expression a lot, what with her partner Mr SMBH Friend apparently being a bit of a 'character'. A 'card'. And any number of other 'C' words you can think of. Here she is, caught up again in another of his hare-brained schemes. And pregnant, too. It's a fucking disgrace.

DocDaneeka - Ah, the BBC news website. The monger's best friend. Lots of potential to cram jokes in - the image, the headline, the linked articles, the caption - and the item in the search bar there, too. Good font matching. Again, the woman's facial expression makes it - "What's this idiot up to again?" I really get the impression that she's not a fan of alternative medicine. But you've certainly 'charmed' me!!!

_Hypnotoad_ - more anti alternative medicine propaganda. What have you people got against complete and utter bollocks? Again, making the expressions work for you, but covering similar ground to DocDaneeka, and because of my originality rule, I'm afraid I would have disqualified this one if ozzie hadn't already done that. As it is, I'm sad to say it's Koant who'll be joining the man-in-the-middles. I'm sorry, Koant, but you brought this 'defacing and ridiculing innocent people behind their backs' competition into disrepute when you offered me "extreme sexual favours, no holds barred" in return for a place in the next round. I had an eye-opening time, but I can't let that cloud my judgement.

So that's that. Thanks again to everyone who entered. I'm hunting the next image carefully. Let me know when I should post it.

One jalopy. Four in the middle. Six competitors go in, but only two will leave - oiled up and primed for a stunning final. See you in round 3...

[_Hypnotoad_]

Yeah, fucking whatever, douchebags, I worked on that and posted it and then saw it was similar to the Doc's, you're all fucking arseholes as far as I'm concerned.


















;)
j/k

[Koant]

Damn. I will not forget, LMC, and I'll vote you out at the next round! ah!

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I'm sorry it has to be this way. I really appreciate you signing up. The voting format of Wimblemong is maybe a little less harsh.

[_Hypnotoad_]

nah it's fun, maybe we should have one of these persistently running with say a week between rounds? might get a bit more interest