Battle Rap

[Repentia]

Your freestyle was wack, I couldn't wait for it to end
That's why you sit in a basement with no friends
What you gonna do, try to battle with me?
Rip you in front of your cat like it didn't happen to me
The difference is I'm real and you're a phony

[jaydee81]

He-Man, Mask, My Little Pony

[Repentia]

Listing your toys won't win this fight
When I could keep this up all night
Lemme explain the structure for free
It goes: AABBB
But none of y'all alphabets gonna beat me

[alan nagsworth]

cuz i skip the fuckin' b and go straight to the c

and if you wanna contest my way of progressin'
then take off your bib, fool, cuz i ain't messin'
and just like a broad, this shit i be undressin'
until you're in the big house, repentin' an' confessin'

so best to step off before you miss your stop
cuz the bus of battle raps will take you to the shop
if you try and make a purchase you're presented broom
collect the debris of the other brothers in the staff room
take it home and try and mold it into a shape
watchin' classic shows on your vhs tape
but you'll never understand a decent verse and flow
so blaze up your dreams and exhale out the window

[Repentia]

Ha ha, you're funny, you're absurd to me
You're a mealy-mouthed loser, pal, everyone can see
But I suppose I shouldn't expect any better from CAB
You got no skills no quality control
Let's see your witquit talkin' out your other hole

[Cerys]

Word.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Uh huh.

[Ginyard]

Oh-ho!
Stuffed Bird.
Your prose is absurd
Repentia?
Dementia!
Where' that tenner I lent cha?

[Repentia]

Down and gritty, it's time to get dirty
Wash your hands, don't care if you're twelve or thirty
I'm a hole in one you're a double birdie
That's right, I'm ill like a sick metaphor
crowd chantin' my name demandin' more

[Repentia]

Where' that tenner I lent cha?

I spent that note on a hit of ice
Ben and Jerry's, two-for-five, twice
It was heaven, it was paradise
You think I'll pay you back? You must be high
It was a nice diss, but it was a wack-ass try

[boki]

You clot.
Is that all ya got?
They won't find nothin' in ya head but snot,
When y'ass
Is on a coroner's slab
And they work they way through that massive pile of flab

[jutl]

Wanker
Wanker
Wanker
Cunt
Cunt
Cunt

[Turgid Bosun]

That's what I think of you, to be perfectly blunt!
You think you can rap? Well how about this:
I've blasted your letterbox with a deluge of piss
These wack rappers are utterly pedestrian
Y'all deserve to get fucked by something equestrian
I can arrange that, you know, just gotta speak to my brother
It'll be like that one time I had sex with your mother

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Woooo! Oh no he di'int! It is getting crazy all up in here.

etc.

[Repentia]

Crazy like a punter watchin' Alice Wonderland
Burton messin' with the story, y'all understand?
The pig was funny I'll give him that,
But you guys are as whack as the dude in the hat
You'll never spit a rime ryhme googles... rhyme this pure and phat

[alan nagsworth]

bitch i'll gat your clit to hell
then bang it till the labia swell
i'll chomp your fuckin' titties ho
then glock you where then sun don't show

[Repentia]

Couldn't hit a barn door point blank range
Only shiverin' I'm feelin' is from temperature change
(The weather this year sure is strange)
You sorry fooles are all shootin' blanks
My batallion of words are like three ton tanks.

[spanky]

You two scousers are always yapping
I'm gonna show you some SERIOUS rapping

[Repentia]

Oh I'm sorry Frenchie, couldn't hear you down there
Par-don-ey-moi here have a highchair

It's got a petit tablecloth, nice and white
I know you love surrendering, you've just lost the fight

[Koant]

Oh on s'essaie au Français
Quel dommage ça sonne niais

La joute verbale est un vieux sport
Dont la perfide Albion relance l'essor
J'arrête là et lui souhaite bon port!

[Repentia]

That ain't so impressive, rapping in codes
You come near me little Wall-E, I'll short y'electrodes

No Jonny Five is gonna take my crown
I'll R to the D to take ya'll down

[Koant]

Rapping in code would be so silly
What'd that be, Haskell or Ruby?

The code I used is cracked easily
Google translate, it's easy peasy
But still obviously too heavy for thee

[Repentia]

Googlin's for kids who ain't got no smarts
Ain't talkin' 'bout learnin' I mean 'crafts

A to the P to the 'ostrophe
Gotta learn when to dro' it if you're gonna beat me

[Koant]

Is that how you win this rigmarole
Simply by switching some defined symbol

You think it makes you sound so street
Not, I'm afraid, only 'ellitrit'
But try again, you amuse us with it.

[Lord Mandrake]

Yo shut the fuck up you whores ain't shit
I'll spit allover your dick and be sick like fucking toothpick
doing a jig wearing your mommas best wig
I'll flick pigs into your crib
put your ass on the rim
wearing a bib, pissing in dustbin's
making money sucking on the bunny
the filthiest whore makes the sweetest honey

[Conans Lego Toaster]

Scattering ho's, lose control of their a'holes
like busting trolls, whacka moles,
taste just like guacamole,
Dripping, tripping, ass-ripping,
dead queer flippin'
'n dead nigga drillin'
Front and back, lay 'em in a stack
even transvestites retract missions when I attack

[Ginyard]

Attack?
Run back!
You're too uncouth for here
My dear
Oh no my box of Earl Grey
Its gone walkies today
Where's my Nes-caf-caf-EH?
In the boot of my car?
There it is!
HAHAHA

[copylight]

Boxing you like a postman.
Postman Pat,
Postman Pat,
pissin' da letta box.
Postman Piss.
That's what you are,
Box of piss.

[The Boston Crab]

Instead o' slingin' rhymes, best y'all sling yers hook,
Now I've sprayed my hate-paste into every little nook
Of your haggard auld mom's uber-cavernous vadge
If the bitch was conscious, she'd wear pride like a badge.

That festering trout near made me nauseous
But I learned my lesson: Always be cautious
Especially when goin' 'round digging up corpses
Sliding them a throbber 'bout as big as a horse's.

I've only just realised that I've prob lowered the tone
By basically admitting that I've sated mah bad bone
In the maggot-ridden clam of some festering crone
Now all you other dudes' moms gonna leave me well alone.

Bollocks.

[alan nagsworth]

Yo Boston, bitch, is that where y'all reppin'?
You Irish have a tendency to dip into the fetid
Nigga got a shamrock all up on his chest
But you never gonna smoke rock, not least wid' da best

So y'all think defilin' corpses is pretty unruly?
Try and roll a blunt from the page of yours truly
I fucked ten bitches, I don't mean intercourse
Had my way with the wounds, now I do mean intercourse

But the worst thing is, when I wuz stitchin' these gashes
Bosto Crab's mama asks to 'scatter my ashes'
I step the ho up real, with her mad euphemismz
Coz the only double-meaning in my mind is 'jism'