Jalopy 2010 - Round 3

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Alright then, brave remaining jalopees. You've got three days to come up with something. 800x600 pixels. _Hypnotoad_, Koant, ozziechef and I will then force our tastes onto your masterpieces and crush your dreams to pieces. Mong like you mean it. Victory or the other thing awaits!

[ziggy starbucks]

[Desi Rascal]

[DocDaneeka]

[Lyndon]

[Zero Gravitas]

[rudi]

Awesome.

[Repentia]

[ziggy starbucks]

we're great

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

And I think that's everyone!

Great round, peeps - speedy too. I'm trying to get in quick while I've got a minute, because as more people vote, the harder the task of choosing a person to kick out is going to get. So, here goes.

ziggy - very nice. I like that by merely shifting the subjects a few metres to the left, you've completely changed the image, made it newsworthy. I always like a wordy mong as well, and of course your write-up is great. Again, points for being in first - although I think there was potential to mong more of the surrounding paper.

Desi - ah, the Soviet propaganda-isation of the image. I like the fact that, as well as in their original positions, we now see the strange pair in question front on, and their costumes in their full 'glory'. I really like the composition of the thing. Is it an advert for a film? Game box art? Or (my favourite interpretation) a promotional poster for some bizarre political party? Mysterious!

DocDaneeka - very nice old skool monging. Echoes of the red and blue from the original image in the placards, plus of course the use of Blue Tobias, turning the whole thing into some surreal and gigantic sports spectacle. I really like the robot design (evidence of your own fair hand there) and it's always good to include a plug for the Westboro Baptist Church website where possible. Charmingly impenetrable.

Lyndon - like it. Ripping off the 2008 final? Pfft. It's good stuff. Nice change of context for the lycramen (well cut-out too), and a lot of opportunities with the news screen format to squeeze in plenty of text gags. I love a funny list, me, but as well as the place names there we've got the brilliant Sky-skewering topics of 'Wag news, foxhunting and kiss chase'. A smaller font for Lilliput too, very nice.

Zero Gravitas - Minimal. Subtle. Brave. Stupid? It's like that woman on Masterchef who 'just' did a Thai curry. I - and apparently rudi's with me on this one - love it. Like ziggy, taking the setting of the station and doing something great with it. Not much more to say really. You've got balls, mister, and you're not afraid to rub them in our collective face.

Thanks to Shoulders?- for the use of his sketch.

Repentia - who is this guy? I'm convinced it's a pseudonym for another 'whore (and see also here). A real game-changer, anyway - real life monging! I absolutely love the idea behind this, and the execution. The steadily-lowering fluid in the glass as madness steps in. The thrilling danger of it - operating scissors under the influence, cutting into sharp aluminium, and placing the metal inside your toaster like some kind of madman. But the fact is, of course, the mad always make the best art. They just make bloody awful toast.

That's one of my dad's favourite bitters, incidentally.

So! Thanks everyone for taking part, again. Brilliant stuff. And speedy, too, despite the increased deadline. I APPRECIATE THIS.

Judgement time, now, I'm afraid. They're getting more abstract aren't they? Which makes them an absolute bitch to write about, of course! But I must choose one, and well-worn though the sentiment is, it is a difficult task. I'm sad to say, this time, for me, Desi Rascal hasn't made it. There's not much in it, so I have to be a bit of a tyrant and pick up on the slightly shoddy cutting out (which I realise is probably deliberate) and the flouting of the image size. Sorry Des. You know I love you, and I'm sorry it's got to be this way. Thanks for taking part - and enjoy judging the next round. With great power comes great poontang.

That's me anyway. Glad to have got in first. Relieved. _Hypnotoad_, Koant and ozziechef - your go.

[Koant]

I decide to include Ziggy in our growing club of MiM's. Sorry Ziggy.

Jesus, that's hard; this way of voting doesn't dilute the responsibility like wimblemong does.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Oooh, a shock exit there!

It is hard, isn't it? There's comfort knowing that whoever goes through to the final, it'll be a bloody good final.

[ziggy starbucks]

fair enough but now koant has to start a new monging thread for me to post in. Its not like I have anything else to do

Spoiler alert

either that or he gets me a nice girlfriend

[close]

Spoiler alert

with big tits

[close]

Spoiler alert

and a little boat called Dignity for us both

[close]

[rudi]

Jesus, that's hard; this way of voting doesn't dilute the responsibility like wimblemong does.

Absolutely. It's bloody carnage and you must feel like a heel being solely responsible for trampling on someone else's dreams.

[ozziechef]

So my views:

Ziggy - Newspaper parody? This competitions been too full of BBC News/paper mongs. It's a good job that you've already been evicted else I'd have done it
Desi - I'm a sucker for anything USSR and Oz. Bingo old chap.
DocDaneeka - A fair reflection of Jimmy White's acid dreams
Lyndon - Don't you love Sky Sports News. the endless stream of facts and figures. Always something new to read.
ZeroGravitas - What is this? This is either brilliant or, well, rubbish. I'm yet to make my mind up, lucky for you I have a few names left in the list to review which might save you
Repentia - Now this is different. Mong on toast (maybe we should have a new thread for this)

So my decision is made harder that the two weakest have already been eliminated.  So I'll be blunt. Zero Gravitas I don't understand your mong, you've proven to be weak this round. Having said that I liked your Alien last round and perhaps you can get back to that level of competence. Unfortunately, it's with regret, that I say DocDaneeka you're out. Your mong was good  but has to be great at this level. The other showed more wit and inginuity. Taxi's waiting outside for you

[DocDaneeka]

Fair enough. I'm still shocked by Ziggy being eliminated, that was my favourite.

[ziggy starbucks]

So my views:

Ziggy - Newspaper parody? This competitions been too full of BBC News/paper mongs. It's a good job that you've already been evicted else I'd have done it

that's the first newspaper mong in the tournament. There's only been one bbc news mong as well.

OPEN YOUR EYES MAN!

Spoiler alert

however I did learn how to justify text in photoshop, so I conclude Jalopy to be a unreserved success for the zigster

[close]

[Koant]

Oooh, a shock exit there!

Absolutely. It's bloody carnage and you must feel like a heel being solely responsible for trampling on someone else's dreams.

I'm still shocked by Ziggy being eliminated, that was my favourite.

Thanks for rubbing it in guys, I wasn't feeling guilty enough!
-
FWIW, I liked Desi's mong; I don't think I got the references but aesthetically I find it really cool.

[Desi Rascal]

 great fun,glad to have made it as far as round three.
Commiserations to my fellow losers, may we endevour not to become as bitter and twisted as those malcontents that voted us out.

x

FWIW, I liked Desi's mong; I don't think I got the references but aesthetically I find it really cool.

Thanks, the overall inspiration was what would The Wizard of Oz look like if it had been made as a soviet era wrestling comic.

[An tSaoi]

Is it possible for new people to enter the next round or are the participants locked-in now?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

I'm afraid it's too late to enter this particular tournament - there'll be a final between the remaining competitors in this round, then that's it. After that, well, you'll have to enter the next Jalopy. Don't worry about the '2010' in the thread title there - it looks like it could be a more regular thing now there appears to be some interest.

[DocDaneeka]

Where is hypnotoad? If he doesn't vote soon, he'll be almost as unpopular a judge as koant!

[Zero Gravitas]

I'm edging towards worry having seen his last post ends in "adiós!", come back _hypnotoad_!

[Lyndon]

If Hypnotoad isn't back in 24 hours time, as of this post, Koant has to eliminate another player. It's the fairest way.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

It has come to my attention that _Hypnotoad_ has hopped it, possibly in an ironic tribute to his username. I really, really don't want to have to kick someone out on my own again, so I'd like to propose that the remaining judges - myself, Koant and ozziechef - vote on another person to join us in the middle, leaving us with two finalists. Sorry it's convoluted, but it seemed the fairest way.

So the three of us are voting on Repentia, Lyndon and Zero Gravitas. If we all vote for one each then obviously a new system will need to be devised. So don't do that, eh?

My vote, I'm sad to say, goes to Zero Gravitas. Now you know I love you ZG, and often get your mongs made into duvet covers, for whenever the bedclothes depicting your face are in the wash (and they do seem to need frequent washing). But I have to base my decision on tournament performance, and you admitted you weren't happy with your last round entry, and I don't think your entry in this round - while inspired and brave and great - displays your prowess to its full extent. Ultimately, Repentia and yourself both take a more conceptual approach, if that makes sense, and I'd rather see a final between more contrasting players - Repentia's visual, cerebral weirdness vs. Lyndon's more traditional wordy, densely-joked mongs. I'd still be sorry to see you go, ZG, because as I say, you are brilliant.

Anyway, whatever happens, that's my vote. The remaining judges have been informed.

[Zero Gravitas]

If an early withdrawal would help with the pain, I'd be happy to see Repentia and Lyndon go head to head. Quite frankly I don't rate either of my last two mongs, being powered more by obscurantism than content as they were.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Early withdrawal is your answer to everything.

Nope - we're going for democracy this time, Adolf.

[Koant]

My vote goes to Lyndon. Ozziechief is the decider! (Not me)

[ozziechef]

Ok,

I'll keep it short. Lyndon, sorry, you didn't make it this time.

MONGING DOESN'T COME TOUGHER THAN THIS

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

A Zero Gravitas / Repentia final it is!

Everyone else, we'll be voting on the winner in the next round. See you there...