Author Topic: "52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"  (Read 3271 times)

23 Daves

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« on: May 06, 2004, 12:34:05 PM »
This, apparently, was news back home last week, and a couple of my friends e-mailed me to tell me about it.  Apparently the main reasons given for the mass exodus (in waiting) were property prices, working hours, the cost of living generally, the threat of terrorism, crime rates and the weather.  The most popular choice to relocate to was Australia.

What does everyone on here think of this?  Do any of you have a hankering to quit Britain for good?  If so, why?

I know what you're thinking here.  You're thinking because I live in Australia at the moment I doubtless agree with this poll, and I'm sitting here smugly typing away thinking about how much better off I am.  Wrong.  I actually think theat some of the reasons given behind most people quitting their country are poorly researched whinging.  Let's start with the main ones.

property prices

True enough, in London and the South East things are a bit manic at the moment, and this and dodgy landlords have been the bane of my life (and the lives of most people I know).  However, in Sydney things aren't much better, and in the part of Melbourne I'm based (Prahran) at the moment many 3 bedroom family houses go for the princely sum of... wait for it... $1 Million.  These are standard Victorian family houses, incidentally.  The housing crisis is pretty much a universal Western crisis right now, from Amsterdam to Australia, especially in the major cities.  It's true to say you can pick up houses in Aus for a pittance, but these are in small towns smack in the middle of nowhere - and sometimes the middle of nowhere here is thousands of miles from anywhere of interest.  People really shouldn't believe all they see on television, unless they want an obscure beach house miles from anywhere they have plans to inhabit whilst they do sod all until they die (which sounds awful to me, I'm afraid, like being an inactive 70 before my time).

working hours

The average Australian works less hours in a week than the Americans and the Japanese.  That's it.  They're in third place globally.  Britain presently barely finishes in the top ten.  It's also highly noticeable, and it's not as if people in (for example) health care work less hours over here, either.

cost of living

OK, a lot of things are cheaper here.

Threat of terrorism

Que?  You should spend more time worrying about knocked down by the increased amount of cars on the road.  And Australia isn't safe from terrorists - it's been named as a prime target, and there's the Bali bomb which seemed to be very much targetted towards a certain nationality.  

the weather

Which really isn't that terrible.  True, the winters are harsh and unwelcoming, but the climate generally is very varied and not life-threatening, or unbearably hot or cold.  Britain for the most part actually doesn't have an appalling weather system, to the extent that hurricanes are treated as absurd anomalies.  It's known for its moderate and slightly damp climate.  It's hardly Siberia (yet), or even Canada for that matter.  

So what is everyone's problem?  I freely admit that I don't look forward to the prospect of returning to London, which is probably the only place I'm likely to find work.  I don't feel safe, I can often barely afford it, and I don't like the atmosphere there much or the pomposity.  However, what's actually wrong with the rest of England?  Is everywhere hellish, or are people just whining as usual and suffering from the grass-is-always-greener syndrome?

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2004, 12:42:53 PM »
I hate the word 'homeland'. Agghghghhhgghgh.

Sorry.

But if Australia's meant to be so great (which, as you point out, it isn't neccessarily) why are there so many Aussies here in West London?

I think it's quite natural to dream of going somewhere else. Grass = greenness etc. But not that many people ever do much about it. I'd love to live somewhere in continental Europe, but my languages are terrible, and I don't have the balls to just go and do it.

Sherringford Hovis

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2004, 12:43:09 PM »
You've forgotten the main reason most VWs would want to emigrate:

The British (and the ENGLISH in particular) are twats.
Sure, you get twats wherever you go, but the density of twats is what matters to me.
If I had to choose between miles and miles of Outback with 1 twat per 10 square miles, or London - I'd tie some corks to me hat, cobber.

Still, as I'm probably off to Baghdad by the end of the year, you can safely ignore anything I have to say on this issue.

23 Daves

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2004, 12:46:17 PM »
Ironically, most of the English twats are over here it would seem.  And I'd thank some of you not to make the obvious joke where that's concerned.

Jemble Fred

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2004, 12:48:39 PM »
Funnily enough, I want 52% of the population to leave the country too.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2004, 12:50:00 PM »
Quote from: "23 Daves"
Ironically, most of the English twats are over here it would seem.  And I'd thank some of you not to make the obvious joke where that's concerned.


Yes, my friend's brother said the same when he was in Oz. There is something nasty about English ex-pats, especially those in Spain who make their own Little Britain out there and don't bother to speak the language. But I'm sure no VWs are like that. I'm pretty confident you're all integrating into whichever culture you happen to be living in.

By the way, 23Daves, isn't it getting quite late out there now?

Sherringford Hovis

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2004, 12:54:44 PM »
Quote from: "butnut"
I'm pretty confident you're all integrating into whichever culture you happen to be living in.


[translation]
Despite the frequencies of meets and the amount of Guardian reading that goes on here, I get the idea that many VWs would remain proudly sociopathic whatever country they are in.
[/translation]

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2004, 01:00:25 PM »
Yet another relocation series has started on BBC2. I caught the end of it, where they summarised the seven different families who wished to emigrate to seven different places, before picking one of them to help out for the rest of the series. To a man, woman and child they were all people I personally would be glad to see fuck off and be replaced by some nice Poles. Fucking losers. No idea whatsoever, except that they'd like to be a bit warmer. A plague of skin cancer on the lot of 'em. I'm only sorry they'll be back - perhaps we should revoke their right ot return.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2004, 01:33:29 PM »
Propery prices are very variable in Melbourne though. Prahan is ridiculous;y expensive, but move to the outer suburbs and it becomes considerably cheaper. I'm aiming to get a job in the country and buy a five acre farmlet for about 150,000 quid, something I could never achieve back in N.Ireland.

I love Melbourne. The best thing about it is the lack of chavs (or spides as their known where I'm from.) Well, they do exist, but they don't tend to hang around in large gangs making a nuisance of themselves.

I'm married to an Aussie and all my backpacker friends have fucked off home, so I sippose I am integrated now. I'm going to another Aussie Rules match tonight and the missus is currently in the front room knitting me a team scarf. Aussie rules is great, legalised warfare.

I live in Moonee Ponds which has a great name, a river and a chic European style cafe culture. Well, so does the rest of Melbourne, I suppose.

I can't afford to buy a house here though. Maybe an apartment but 3 bedroom houses go for $400,000 (about 180,000 grand in your briteesh pounds.)

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2004, 01:40:33 PM »
I wonder how many of that 52% have actually lived in another country?

Have you noticed that in these relocation programs, the reason they can afford to move abroad is because their house is so massively over priced?

It's the same people moaning who do nothing to change things. It's their fault that this country is in whatever state they assume it to be. They have nothing to contribute but depression and misery.

If you think the English are twats, and it's so painful to be here, then fuck off. Go on. No excuses. I don't want to hear about your kids schooling, or your lack of funds, or the colour of your dog's eyes. Just go.

Miserable fuckers, fuck off.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2004, 03:35:30 PM »
I think the "England is shit, but life would be perfect if I moved abroad" trap is an easy one to fall into, but as you say Daves, it tends to be rooted in misconceptions.

I was shocked by how cheap a lot of things (well, Coca Cola and fags mainly, but other things as well) were in Oz, and when combined with the discovery that for what I paid for my 2 bedroom flat here I could own a 3 or 4 bedroom house in Perth, with swimming pool, it suddenly seemed incredibly inviting. But of course, I don't actually own my flat at all, what I own is a huge bloody mortgage. So were I actually move to Australia, all I'd actually be able to afford would be a mortgage proportional to what I have here... which, when you consider I would be earning less anyway, would probably mean a 2 or 3 bedroom flat.

The weather? I like it cold and damp thanks - I time my visits to Oz for their winter; the prospect of a summer over there doesn't bear thinking about. And of course, they wouldn't let me in anyway, because I can't score enough points on their tests. Not unless I learn a foreign language properly... and surely nothing is worth doing that for.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2004, 03:43:51 PM »
I reckon loads of people in the Uk have this idea that  in Australia you sit in the sun and scratch your balls all day.

I used to work in the public sector back home and did very little all day. I moved here and was shocked at how much work you're expected to do in some jobs. Very target orientated- KPI's and all that shite. Although I have mostly worked for a large American corporation.

Youf
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2004, 04:09:15 PM »
When i was much younger all I ever wanted to do (in the main) was emigrate. Now that much older, I am so damn glad I never did, having travelled about and grown up mentally somewhat - I now see there's no place like the UK.

By far biggest thing I'd miss is our sense of ironic/satirical humour, and way of looking at life/the world.  There is quite simply nothing like a warmish pint in a british beer garden in summer taking the piss out of anything and everything.

To be somewhere else, well it just doesn't work, I have found.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2004, 04:20:13 PM »
Amen, Sister.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2004, 04:55:43 PM »
I hate the cynicism and pessemistic attitude of this country, and in particular the refusal to actually make an effort to make things better and instead just throw in the towel. It annoying, it's a shit situation that's never going to improve, and so I'm going to move abroad. Grumble.

Seriously though, I like living here. The main advantage of the UK is that we don't have apocolyptic natural disasters. We might have the occasional flood, a bit of gale that knocks down a few trees, and Manchester had a few earthquakes in 2002 that slightly distressed a few pensioners and knocked down a chimney, but at least we don't have massive tornados that send cows and cars flying all over the place, volcanos that blow boiling lava a mile in the air, tidal waves that kill hundreds, earthquakes that kill thousands and famine. It may be boring, but that's the way we like it.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2004, 05:13:34 PM »
Britons have always been great ones for emigrating though. Between the early 1600s and the 1950s more than 20 million people emigrated from Britain and settled in other lands. Unfortunately, you can't sail into another country and claim it as your own nowadays. Unless you're American.

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2004, 05:16:19 PM »
Id pack up and leave right now. I dont like this county, i dont like the weather, the education system, the cost of stuff, or the thought that i will soon be liquified by a nuke.

Moving abroad doesnt mean you expect to sit around in the sun all day and "scratch your balls", you will work just as hard, but your free time can be spent relaxing, in better surroundings, and exploring new culture etc.

Its a strange feeling, when you dont even want to live in a country anymore. The grass is greener.

chand

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"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2004, 05:18:44 PM »
Ooh the BNP won't like this.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2004, 05:23:01 PM »
Quote from: "Krang"
Id pack up and leave right now. I dont like this county, i dont like the weather, the education system, the cost of stuff, or the thought that i will soon be liquified by a nuke.


Go on then, go.

What's your excuse?

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2004, 05:23:35 PM »
another reason

Quote
Just consider the statistics. By 2050 one person in five in Britain will be over 70, a regiment of 12 million oldsters - double the current population of London - filling residential homes and sheltered housing across the land. In addition, there will be a further eight million aged between 60 and 70.

For the first time, there are now more over-60-year-olds than under-16s in this country.


from Guardian Article Living with Britain's population timebomb

the island of Piss and Death

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2004, 05:24:07 PM »
I think there are upsides to any place. Here is nice because it's sunny all year round, people are generally friendly and non-confrontational, it's very clean and there's no little brats hanging round street corners, there's lots to do and property  is unbelievably cheap, as is most other stuff.
The downside is that there's no decent public transport, TV (bar the cable channels) are awful and have adverts every 5 minutes, there's no NHS so even just getting a check-up costs a fortune, there's a shitload of people driving massive SUV gas guzzlers with 'GOD BLESS AMERICA' stickers on them which piss me off, and you only get 2 weeks holiday per year.

You need to pick the things which are most important to your own way of life, really.

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #21 on: May 06, 2004, 05:26:28 PM »
Quote from: "fanny splendid"
Quote from: "Krang"
Id pack up and leave right now. I dont like this county, i dont like the weather, the education system, the cost of stuff, or the thought that i will soon be liquified by a nuke.


Go on then, go.

What's your excuse?


Money. Im also gonna finish college. Of course i could up and leave right now, and move to New Zealand. At the moment i want to finish some of my personal goals in the UK, then make some more, and move on.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #22 on: May 06, 2004, 05:28:45 PM »
It's the same in all first-world countries though. The mediterranean countries have an even lower birthrate.

Some governments, like Sweden, are belately trying to encourage folks to have more kids by offering tax breaks & maternity pay to breeders, but it's not making much of a difference.

There's a big shortage of skilled manual workers in Australia if anyone's interested. And there's never enough doctors. The Royal Flying Doctor Service can't even recruit enough staff. If I were a doctor I'd give it a go. Better than sitting in a clinic all day.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2004, 05:28:53 PM »
Quote from: "Krang"
Its a strange feeling, when you dont even want to live in a country anymore.

Go for it. You will be back. It's easy to see what's shit about the place from here, especially as we love to do ourselves and everything else down, but after spending a while elsewhere it's even easier to see what's good about us. Mark my bald old words, and fanny's, and Sarah Bellum's - sounds like we've all done it. Go. Fly like a boomerang.

"Piss and death," heh. I live on the coast. Pretty pissy and deathy rouwnd'ere I can tell you.

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2004, 05:32:51 PM »
I dont think thats true. Besides everyone was more supportive when Waspy announced he was up and off for India, there wasnt much "go on fuck off" or "youll come back once you realise India is shit compared to here"

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2004, 05:34:26 PM »
He's Indian though.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2004, 05:35:05 PM »
I'm from Northern Ireland though, which is pretty shit. The worst thing about the place is that the universities spew out thousands of graduates, and there's hardly any decent jobs. Almost everyone from my year at school lives away know, most went across the water to England and never came back.

Sometimes I miss the pubs and the mystical feckin craic though, but less so now.

There's good and bad about almost everywhere. If you're life's shit moving abroad seems like an easy panacea. But it can be very hard surviving without family and friends.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2004, 05:35:29 PM »
So the free education you are receiving here is okay, then?

The New Zealand government are actually getting stricter over who they let stay. You actually have to have something to offer.

How much money do you need? For about £60 you can buy a fake degree certificate on the internet. With this you can, via the internet, contact a private language institution in South Korea who will pay your flight over there, and then provide you with an apartment, and a sum of money to get you settled.

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2004, 05:35:39 PM »
Quote from: "butnut"
But if Australia's meant to be so great (which, as you point out, it isn't neccessarily) why are there so many Aussies here in West London?


Isnt that a scheme, where bars/hotels take on X amount of workers. Its just a cheap way of travelling.

"52% of Britons want to leave their homeland"
« Reply #29 on: May 06, 2004, 05:37:08 PM »
Quote from: "Nearly Annually"
He's Indian though.


and his family live out there.


In some sort of fucking palace.