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Friends of the opposite sex

Started by 23 Daves, May 10, 2004, 12:12:25 PM

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El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: "Partridge's Love Child"Similarly I've been known to kiss gay men goodbye, which makes no sense either - why kiss the ones that might feasably be interested?  Maybe somewhere along the line it's about a cheap thrill of being wanted, I really don't know.
...

It's like a tide, give in to it, go with it....it's society's crime, not ours.

FrizzBit

Oh go on, start it now. I love these discussions, but they always get sidetracked when someone decides to take the piss out of the 'girl'. Not that I mind that either. I enjoy verbally bitch-slapping people. Gender not important.

To be honest, I think gender differences are almost entirely societally learned. I was brought up with four brothers and noticed the difference in treatment between them and me at a VERY young age. Therefore I decided to ignore it. It worked. Mammy and Daddykins got very sick of having no justification for why I couldn't do stuff my brothers did other than 'but you're a girl' and very quickly packed it in. Also, it made me agressively, boyishly competitive. I got better GCSE results, A level results, university results than them - and an MA - mostly just to show I was better than them. I went to a single sex school and was lucky enough to find a group of mates who also refused to pander to the 'looking good and getting a boyfriend is all that counts' mentality. To be honest, I was a complete pain in the ass until I was about 22. And possibly scared the shit out of most blokes I met. I'm alright now though. ;-D

Yes, point taken, Mr Reid.

There's definitely a problem that occurs somewhere, probably during adolescence, about physicality.  For years I don't think my dad knew how to say goodbye, because I don't think he knew what I was comfortable with.  Having now recognised that, I now make sure that I give him a big hug, though making sure that we break each other's ribs because we're not puffters or owt, rah rah rah bloody homos.

I have this problem with my male friends.  I know that I am a much more tactile person than the majority of my male friends in particular, so I know that they're not particularly comfortable with me hugging them as a sign of affection, which seems a shame because I see them so rarely I like to be able to be a bit emotiional.  I detest shaking the hand of someone I care for a great deal, it just feels so stand-offish and business-like, however, I've realised that for some, not all, this what they prefer - when sober or not at a football match anyway.

Edit: Unicorn - heh, touche, my friend, touche.

With reference to FrizzBit's reference to "you can't do that you're a girl", I think the nature/nurture debate is an interesting one.  Our friends' three year old, who seems to be getting something of a starring role in my posts today, is obsessed with Barbie and the colour pink.  This has been in no way encouraged by her parents, but yet she's become incredibly girlie in the past six months or so - preferring a pretty dress to jeans and generally wanting to be her idol idol.  Whether she has learned this at nursery or not we don't know, neither do we know that she wouldn't have been similarly obsessed had she been a he.  I just think it's an interesting point to which, sadly I don't have a concluding sentence.  I'm pleased with the phrase "her idol idol" though.

FrizzBit

Quotefemale friend and female friend can touch more than male friend and male frined.


This is where women DO have it easier than men. We are allowed much more freedom to flit between genders. How do I explain this? Like - we can wear male clothing and noone bats an eyelid, we can indulge in 'male' behaviour, like being agressive and workaholic and lustful and that's fine. You boys have to be strong and manly ALL the time. You dunno what you're missing. Getting pissed up and weepy and telling your friends how much you 'rilly, rilly, rilly like lurve them' can be so nice. honestly! Yay for femininity and weakness! Not bad words boys - just parts of you that you're not allowed to express. I think you should rise up in revolt for the right. I really do.

Nearly Annually

Well, um, I like flowers.

I was about to reprise the question of FrizzBit's real gender again after this ...
Quote from: "FrizzBit"How big is massive? Well I'm quite small, so pretty much anything over six inches tends to hit the cervix, but the fun is all in the girth as we well know.
The ladies like to get it TIGHT. :-b

Until she said this ...
Quote from: "FrizzBit"I was brought up with four brothers

Hey bebeh :-) No knights in shining armour on your horizon, eh? Just us dirty boys.

Gazeuse

Quote from: "FrizzBit"[Getting pissed up and weepy and telling your friends how much you 'rilly, rilly, rilly like lurve them' can be so nice. honestly!

Never seen blokes do this???

"You're a diamond, mate you really are," *sniff*  "'E is...A diamond geezer," etc...etc...etc...

FrizzBit

QuoteNo knights in shining armour on your horizon, eh? Just us dirty boys.

I like it that way. I want an equal. Not a fucking Dad figure or some 'girl'*  with a dick. :-D

*In the offensive sense that men tend to use it. Girls are quite cool really. And much dirtier than blokes...

Quote from: "FrizzBit"You boys have to be strong and manly ALL the time [there's ...]  just parts of you that you're not allowed to express. I think you should rise up in revolt for the right. I really do.

Me and my lover Almost/Nearly do our best.  We flirt so much we're Nearly Anally.

Home.  Now.

fanny splendid

No, not getting any at all.

FrizzBit

QuoteWith reference to FrizzBit's reference to "you can't do that you're a girl", I think the nature/nurture debate is an interesting one. Our friends' three year old, who seems to be getting something of a starring role in my posts today, is obsessed with Barbie and the colour pink. This has been in no way encouraged by her parents, but yet she's become incredibly girlie in the past six months or so - preferring a pretty dress to jeans and generally wanting to be her idol idol. Whether she has learned this at nursery or not we don't know, neither do we know that she wouldn't have been similarly obsessed had she been a he.

Two of my brothers have sons. Both children are looked after by their maternal grandmothers while their parents are at work. Both boys are obsessed with housework - it's all they see all day. Elder of the brothers is totally cool with this. His son has a toy kitchen, toy hoover, toy washing machine, toy pram, toy iron and ironing board etc, etc. They even threw my aunt out of the house for laughing at him about the pram (he never wanted a doll for it strangely enough). Said child is extremely outgoing, and not in the slightest 'namby pamby' (spoilt as fuck though) still likes trains and fire engines and all the rest of it. I really don't see the harm. The other brother won't let his kid have 'girls' toys. Buys him shit he doesn't play with. What's the point?
If your kids going to be gay, he's going to be gay. Teach him not to take any shit from anyone and let him be himself. I reckon the elder brothers kid is the one who'll grow up not feeling ashamed of himself in any way. To teach a kid that something harmless that he likes is somehow wrong is just shoring up psychiatrists fees in the future.

QuoteNo, not getting any at all.

That's why you're so grumpy. You need a good, deep dicking. :-b

Nearly Annually

Seriously though, I remember wriggling away from anyone who wanted a cuddle or a kiss by the age of about five. "Naaahhh, gerroff," I struggled. It's not that I come from a terribly inhibited family - I mean, they're the ones who wanted the contact. I just thought the whole thing was yukky.

And I thought that went for all boys. Doesn't it? I'm alright now, although I don't often have an ostensibly platonic embrace with a girl without some part of me thinking "Ooh, there's tits on me," and another part suggesting I put my hand on her arse. Am I bad, mad or just sad?

butnut

Quote from: "FrizzBit"
Quotefemale friend and female friend can touch more than male friend and male frined.


This is where women DO have it easier than men. We are allowed much more freedom to flit between genders. How do I explain this? Like - we can wear male clothing and noone bats an eyelid, we can indulge in 'male' behaviour, like being agressive and workaholic and lustful and that's fine. You boys have to be strong and manly ALL the time. You dunno what you're missing. Getting pissed up and weepy and telling your friends how much you 'rilly, rilly, rilly like lurve them' can be so nice. honestly! Yay for femininity and weakness! Not bad words boys - just parts of you that you're not allowed to express. I think you should rise up in revolt for the right. I really do.

You've read my self-indulgent twaddle. You know men can be as emotional as women. It's just that we're shit at it. Maybe we need lessons, and not to be drunk.

FrizzBit

I know men CAN be Butnut, but you're taught to feel ashamed of it. That's not right. Or fair.

Quotealthough I don't often have a platonic embrace with a girl without some part of me thinking "Ooh, there's tits on me," and another part suggesting I put my hand on her arse. Am I bad?


Why don't you try slipping the hand and find out?

fanny splendid

Quote from: "FrizzBit"That's why you're so grumpy. You need a good, deep dicking. :-b

First time for everything...

elderford

Another problem with it all is when the friendship reaches the giving away all your secrets phase and can become 'a little bit more information than I needed to know'.

For example a ladyfriend recently confided that she doesn't wear underwear, shaves her pant beard and makes ends meet by being an escort (usually spelt prostitute).

I'm also friendly with teen lesbians which plays havoc with my libido when they're playfighting on my mattress.

You wouldn't believe some of the crosses I have to bear.

Quote from: "Nearly Annually"although I don't often have a platonic embrace with a girl without some part of me thinking "Ooh, there's tits on me," and another part suggesting I put my hand on her arse. Am I bad, sad or mad?

Heh, we are the same person re-incarnated in two different bodies.

I was once awoken late at night by a noise outside the window of my girlfriend's old flat.  I popped my bonce out of the window to discover that there was a woman muttering a loud "bloodyhellbloodyhellbloodyhell" to herself.  What had happened I do not know, whether she'd been attacked, or her boyfriend had walked in and found her shagging another man I can't say.  What I can say is that her knockers were on show to half of Green Lanes.  Even at this moment of drama, and when my over-riding emotion was one of, "shit, this woman is in distress" and "I should probably ring the police", there was still a part of me that all too clearly internally yelled, "blimey, I can see her tits!  Get in."

Nearly Annually

Quote from: "elderford"I'm also friendly with teen lesbians which plays havoc with my libido when they're playfighting on my mattress.

You wouldn't believe some of the crotches I have to bare.
Hmm.

And there really really is no such thing as a teen lesbian. Open season there mate. Tatu my arse.

FrizzBit

QuoteAnother problem with it all is when the friendship reaches the giving away all your secrets phase and can become 'a little bit more information than I needed to know'.


Well yes. On occasion, one of my 'amusing' anecdotes to a new bloke has ended in a severing of relations.
And why do you all think that ignoring phonecalls and texts is the same thing as breaking up? I'll agree the results are the same...

Sherringford Hovis

Quote from: "FrizzBit"And much dirtier than blokes...

Sixty posts in four days? You haven't got TIME to be dirty, surely?


Sherringford Hovis

So which appendage pushes the rodent about the place, then?

Don't tell me that you use the command-line for everything - the woman that's THAT perverted hasn't been born yet, surely?

FrizzBit

QuoteDon't tell me that you use the command-line for everything - the woman that's THAT perverted hasn't been born yet, surely?

Is this some computer nerd thing? Sorry - I was just talking about having a sneaky bean flick under the desk. :-b

butnut

I was wondering how long it would take for this to become a wanking thread.

FrizzBit

Don't blame me!
Would you like it better if it turned into a C+/some other fucking code thread?


butnut

Quote from: "FrizzBit"Don't blame me!
Would you like it better if it turned into a C+/some other fucking code thread?

Hey, I wasn't blaming anyone.

(I'd secretly like there to be a wanking thread, but obviously, I haven't told you that.)

FrizzBit

QuoteI would, yes.

Oh. Work away there then. Don't mind me. I like it when a man talks technical, gets me to the vinegar strokes quicker....



Quote(I'd secretly like there to be a wanking thread, but obviously, I haven't told you that.)

Are you having problems in that department? Do tell, I could do with a laugh.

Crazy Penis

I'm having problems in that department. When I switch hands I keep dropping my C++ by dissection book on the floor.

I miss having tons of female friends. I used to be the only bloke out of up to ten when I went clubbing. It was great helping them to decide what outfit to wear. "No take that off" I would say. "and let me see the colour of your bra again."
I wasn't like other blokes because I always looked women in the eye when I spoke to them.
They didn't realise what the true reason for me standing behind the sofa was when we were chilling out, playing Playstation games. "Don't worry I'll press the fire button when you need to jump" Leaning over just enough to reach the controller. But not ever knowing when to press fire because I was too busy looking elsewhere. hehe

TraceyQ

My sons won't kiss me, but they will hold hands with each other.

I dont get it.

Crazy Penis

Quote from: "TraceyQ"My sons won't kiss me, but they will hold hands with each other.

I dont get it.

My dad has the same problem. It really annoys him.