Weird businesses/ shops in your area which may be fronts for other activities

[imitationleather]

About the Soho places, if I recall correctly, it's not illegal to work as a prostitute if you're the only one selling your wares at that address. That's how I always thought those flats with massive signs outside saying "MODEL" were getting away with it. It's when there's multiple women in a building and so it's classed as a brothel or if you're soliciting on the street that it becomes illegal.

[23 Daves]

About the Soho places, if I recall correctly, it's not illegal to work as a prostitute if you're the only one selling your wares at that address. That's how I always thought those flats with massive signs outside saying "MODEL" were getting away with it. It's when there's multiple women in a building and so it's classed as a brothel or if you're soliciting on the street that it becomes illegal.

But still, I used to live right in the middle of a red-light district, and for the whole two years I had that address it was a notorious destination to pick up street prossies.  One of the more senior whores there used to stand seductively licking a Cadbury's Flake to tempt passers-by.  The police, to the best of my knowledge, rarely paid visits.  (Incidentally, the property I was renting there falls under the category of "cheap rents I've had in my adult life which have been cheap for a very clear set of reasons".  Still wasn't as cheap as the room I rented near a bread factory and rubbish dump, though...)

Going back on-topic to the company I mentioned at the start of this thread, my wife and I have been doing some digging around, and I can deduce that:

* The property is indeed mixed residential/ office use, which explains the net curtains and the late-night party noises.
* Their Company House returns, at a basic level at least, make no sense at all.  They seem to suggest it's a "non-trading company" - in other words, inactive - when their returns and publicity conflict completely with this.  This is a tax-loss enterprise, some kind of "community charity" which actually does sod-all, or I'm a Dutchman.  I probably ought to try and drop in there to pick up some leaflets and brochures one day. 

[rudi]

That's how I always thought those flats with massive signs outside saying "MODEL" were getting away with it.

I just thought it meant the building was designed by Frank Gehry's dyslexic brother.

HONK!

[batwings]

There's a shop in Bridgwater high street called Atmosphere, which is mostly empty, full of nothing but air. Probably someone's idea of a joke.

[Mr Colossal]

I thought brothels were basically allowed to exist nowadays seeing as I know someones sister who wasnt too shy about admitting she was working in one.


heres the website for a notorious one back in my hometown for example:


it even includes a 'massage' called 'the FULL girlfriend experience' and the 'CREDIT CRUNCH EARLY RISER SPECIAL'  for fucks sake:


http://www.massagegirlsnewport.co.uk/services.htm

[Pepotamo1985]

There was an alleged kebabery in Aldgate East which was the most painfully overt drug depot I've ever seen. It's a marvel it stayed open as long as it did - especially as it technically fell under the jurisdiction of the City of London and was thus subject to excessive CCTV monitoring and the City of London police, who, despite patrolling an area the size of a square mile, almost outnumber the Metropolitan police, and wield more powers than they do. They're also so hotheaded that they'll try and nick you for being in possession of non-white skin after dark on a weekday. All you had to do was literally walk in, go up to the counter, take an abrupt right and head down a flight of stairs - at the bottom was a goon with a massive bag of 8th baggies, and another taking money.

The weed was pretty sick and actually pretty on point, all things considered. It was open for fucking ages and then (predictably) closed abruptly and was never seen again. People from all over knew about it, and from recanting this tale I've met a lot of people who used it or had at least heard of it. There was a similar shop in Clapham which required you to go in, pick up a chocolate bar, walk round the rest of the stock and approach the counter, whereupon you could buy pretty big weights without question or a raised eyebrow.

[Pepotamo1985]

A lot of Soho was also apparently gangster controlled until very recently, so a lot of these businesses may be more bother to take on than they're really worth.

Parts of it are near or are actually in the borough of Camden, which my less savoury friends inform me is almost totally gangster inaugurated to this day. From what I gather, drugs are less and less the gangster's income of choice (rising prices, decreasing quality and crazy levels of surveillance), and prostitution is now preferred. Soho's cleaned up considerably in the past few years but the sheer amount of places to get your end away that are still operating is astounding. There's one near a particularly cheap barber I go to which has a perpetually open door and lavish descriptions of the starlet that awaits you on each floor chalked onto the wall facing the road - when I've been waiting to get my dick licked  hair cut I've occasionally been approached by potential punters asking me whether the descriptions are actually true.

[non capisco]

Similarly, at least ten years ago there used to be a bogus taxi rank in Soho which sold people "in the know" cannabis.  Anybody who went in there for a cab was simply told that there were none available at the moment, and wouldn't be for the foreseeable.  It was right in the heart of the West End of London, on a fairly busy street, and I remain amazed they were active without any apparent problems. 
A friend of mine actually took me there once, and the cannabis was good stuff

There also used to be 'Home James' in Brixton which did actually do cabs but most people went there for weed. From my few experiences going in there I dunno if I'd necessarily describe it as 'good stuff' but at least they actually ferried us home. I've also just realised it had the same name as Helen Daniels' taxi service in 'Neighbours'.

The first thing this thread reminded me of isn't a proper example but more of a childhood urban myth along the lines of 'see that wood, a witch lives there.' In Gravesend in the late 80s/early 90s there used to be an Italian restaurant called 'La Cosa Nostra' which never, ever seemed to have anyone in when you looked through the window. This of course lead to misguided schoolyard speculation that some kind of North-West Kent branch of the Mafia operated there out the back, although if that were true they can't have been the brightest wing of the Mafia calling it that.

There was also a beauty parlour in nearby Longfield called Exquisite that it was fairly common knowledge was a knocking shop. I went to visit my Mum the other week and there's now a beauty parlour in the town called Sin-Sational. The thing is, I think this one actually is a tanning salon so I'm not sure they were aware of local trading history when they picked that name.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

I thought brothels were basically allowed to exist nowadays seeing as I know someones sister who wasnt too shy about admitting she was working in one.


heres the website for a notorious one back in my hometown for example:


it even includes a 'massage' called 'the FULL girlfriend experience' and the 'CREDIT CRUNCH EARLY RISER SPECIAL'  for fucks sake:


http://www.massagegirlsnewport.co.uk/services.htm

Full Girlfriend Experience – mmmmm          30 minutes    £ 50.00

£50 to see a woman watch EastEnders?

[Small Man Big Horse]

About the Soho places, if I recall correctly, it's not illegal to work as a prostitute if you're the only one selling your wares at that address. That's how I always thought those flats with massive signs outside saying "MODEL" were getting away with it. It's when there's multiple women in a building and so it's classed as a brothel or if you're soliciting on the street that it becomes illegal.

You speak the truth. Though I was reading this thread on Punternet - http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=498261#post498261 - and it sounds like you get a pretty horrible experience in Soho a lot of the time.

Er, sorry for derailing the thread, btw.

[Pepotamo1985]

Apology unnecessary - explanation as to why you use punternet probably more apt.

[Jackson K Pollock]

When I was living in Herne Hill there was a fairly odd looking 'corner shop', not quite on the corner, and not quite on the main road. It had a pretty pathetic amount of stock on display, and the one time I went in there I bought a 50p can of Coke with a £1 coin, and they had to go downstairs for about 5 minutes to try and rustle up my change. I later found out that it was where my landlord got his weed from. So that's one.

Another time, I was in Camden and needing a set of guitar strings. I found this small upstairs music shop. Downstairs was a large gentleman of Jamaican descent guarding a fridge containing two pasties and a can of Ginger Beer. He seemed a little put out when I wanted to actually buy the ginger beer, as it comprised about a third of his stock. I suspect this may have been a front, also.

[23 Daves]

Another time, I was in Camden and needing a set of guitar strings. I found this small upstairs music shop. Downstairs was a large gentleman of Jamaican descent guarding a fridge containing two pasties and a can of Ginger Beer. He seemed a little put out when I wanted to actually buy the ginger beer, as it comprised about a third of his stock. I suspect this may have been a front, also.

It was probably his lunch!

Up until quite recently, drug dealing in Camden was utterly blatant - I say this for the benefit of non-London forum readers, I suspect that everyone in the capital knows this is the case already.  It's not really that subtle now, but it's a far cry from the days people would actually openly ask you if you wanted to buy weed on the streets (and other classes of narcotic besides).  Only last week, I dropped back at my office after I'd been for a drink to pick up something I'd left at my desk, only to find a drug deal going on in one of the entrances to the building - or at least, I take it that this is what the exchange of money and freshly wrapped objects was all about.  The dealer glared at me as if I shouldn't be there.  I was half-tempted to point out that his supposedly "subtle" dealing spot was an office filled with people working until quite late at night, was covered by CCTV, and had full security.  But then I thought, nah, best leave him to it....

[Sovereign]

The most likely suspects for illegal fronts for laundering money are hand car washes, tanning salons, small convenience stores and basically anything which is a cash only type of business. There's a fair few of these in Manchester that I know of, shops with nothing on the shelves, car washes that never seem open, but I wouldn't want to say where they are, obviously. There's also at least half a dozen take aways in Rusholmes which exist purely for laundering money.

[JesusAndYourBush]

A few times in the early 90's I bought bootleg cassettes from various places in Camden and there always seemed to be a sign very near saying "Bureau de Change" (not always a proper sign, sometimes just written in black marker on a bit of cardboard taped to a wall).  I never saw a bureau de change (although I'm sure it was there somewhere) and had this fanciful idea that it was a secret code the bootleggers used to advertise their wares to those in the know (although some were right on the street so not exactly hidden).

[Fry]

...on Victoria Road North

I got mugged on that same very road I did.

[Hanslow]

You can measure the amount of crime there is in my area by the amount of sunbed shops, body building shop's and takeaways called 'soprano's'. Infact an awful lot of the local business's are owned by local gangster's, taxi firm's included. Crime pays.

[23 Daves]

I got mugged on that same very road I did.

Back when I lived along there, it had one of the highest crime rates in Portsmouth/ Southsea and was apparently deemed a "problem" by the police. Clearly not much has changed. 

Hopefully your mugging wasn't connected in any way to the novelty phone shop.  Although if you were carrying a novelty phone in the shape of Snoopy or Garfield at the time, then it probably was. 

[Johnny Yesno]

In Stoke Newington the Vacuum Cleaner Repair Shop seemed to be commonly mentioned, since it seemed to occupy a prime bit of retail space, and nobody could think of anybody who would be able to make a sustainable living solely out of vacuum cleaner repairs.

Not quite the same thing but you reminded me of this...

[Toad in the Hole]

The most likely suspects for illegal fronts for laundering money are hand car washes, tanning salons, small convenience stores and basically anything which is a cash only type of business. There's a fair few of these in Manchester that I know of, shops with nothing on the shelves, car washes that never seem open, but I wouldn't want to say where they are, obviously. There's also at least half a dozen take aways in Rusholmes which exist purely for laundering money.

That figures.  There's a corner shop / offy very near where I live in South Manchester, which has a half-full chocolate rack at the till, a sparse selection of beer (you occasionally see some dodgy looking blokes bringing in stock out of an unmarked white van), regularly has a suspicious number of hoodies on bikes outside, who are in turn often in discussion with the local Peelers.  I'm pretty sure it's a very unsubtle front for drug-dealing.

(If anyone's interested, "Tipples" near the Old House at Home, on Burton Road...)

[Ambient Sheep]

I've seen a few of these in my time, but my memory's failed me in this thread until now, when I've suddenly remembered an Indian restaurant I went into in about 1992ish, just down the road from the Town & Country Club (as it was then known) in Kentish Town.

We were going to a gig at the T&C but there'd been some fuck-up with the timing, and so my friend and I decided to grab an early-evening meal before the show.  I remembered that my sparkly new edition of The Good Curry Guide had said there was a place on that road that was one of the best in London, so we set off to find it.

We failed, but alighted on this little place.  The menu in the window looked conventional enough, but almost as soon as we got through the door we realised that something wasn't quite right.  The restaurant was just one big room with no sign of any kitchen (we realised later on it was down a flight of stairs), and was sparsely and simply furnished, with red & white chequered paper tablecloths, almost like a English roadside cafe but with half the number of tables you might expect in such a space.  They served alcohol, so it wasn't one of those minimalistic balti-style places; a bit early historically for that in any case in London, I think.  Plus they didn't serve baltis.

There was nobody else in there for the entire duration.  The woman who served us (the only person we saw) was pleasant enough, but seemed utterly bemused to see us and quite puzzled that we should actually want to order a curry.  When we did so, she went off, and it arrived after a much longer delay than you might expect, and was one of the strangest curries I've ever eaten in a restaurant.  It was almost like she'd made it herself using a few tins of Sharwoods finest or something -- it certainly didn't have that "Indian Restaurant" taste about it, and we could probably have done better ourselves (we certainly would have left the sultanas out from the pilau rice!).  Still it was edible, so we ate it, paid up, and left.  When we came out of the gig a few hours later, the place was STILL empty.

It was either one of the crappiest Indian restaurants that ever existed, or, we decided, being an Indian restaurant perhaps wasn't its primary purpose...

[NoSleep]

 A few years back our local video shop closed and was replaced by this:

Strangely, on the Google Street image above, they appeared to have passed at a rare time when the shop front wasn't shuttered.
I typed the name of the shop into google and discovered their (her) website and that she has met both David Carradine and Steven Seagal (photographic evidence in her press kit).