Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 11:35:52 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Amusing Wikipedia Stuff [split topic]

Started by dr_christian_troy, July 25, 2010, 11:46:13 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Ferris

On medieval Welsh tome, the Red Book of Hergest

QuoteAccording to scholar Daniel Huws, it is "by far the heaviest of the medieval books in Welsh, the largest in its dimensions...and the thickest"

Something about the ellipsis and the fact that this is considered a scholarly proclamation really made me laugh.

Famous Mortimer

More a Wiki than Wikipedia, but I thought it was funny that

https://theultimatesidemen.fandom.com/wiki/2017_Sidemen_War

uses more words to describe a bit of a laugh between Youtube-star mates than many of the world's most famous short stories, for instance Edgar Allen Poe's "The Telltale Heart" (2683 words to 2093).

buttgammon

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on December 20, 2019, 01:35:45 PM
On medieval Welsh tome, the Red Book of Hergest

Something about the ellipsis and the fact that this is considered a scholarly proclamation really made me laugh.

"The largest Communist Party in the world and in my opinion, the best."

gib

looked up Sian Webber after seeing her in a thing

QuoteWithin an episode of Holby City broadcast in 2013, Webber played a gameskeeper that had been impaled by an antler. The episode emphasised the message that a shot deer should never be approached from the front.

alan nagsworth

Philippe Petit, the dude who did the high-wire walk between the twin towers in 1974, reflecting on 9/11:

QuoteHe wrote that on that morning, "My towers became our towers. I saw them collapse – hurling, crushing thousands of lives. Disbelief preceded sorrow for the obliteration of the buildings, perplexity descended before rage at the unbearable loss of life."[15] Petit paid tribute to those who were killed and supported rebuilding the towers, promising that "When the towers again twin-tickle the clouds, I offer to walk again, to be the expression of the builders' collective voice. Together, we will rejoice in an aerial song of victory." [15] A different complex of buildings has been developed on the site, and does not offer this opportunity.

Fucking love the bluntness of that total factual smackdown after Petit's pretentious romantic dogshit.

Ferris

From the article on Bracknell

QuoteBecause of Bracknell's age, it was decided that it should undergo renovation. Designs and plans were submitted and rejected first time round. The council went for a second attempt and were accepted, work was due to commence early in 2008 but due to the global credit crisis, the plans were postponed.

The intro line made me laugh. "This town is fucking past it - time to do something about it!"

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bracknell

famethrowa

Regarding the Turtles:

Quote from:
Describing the song in 1974 Kaylan claimed to have written the song in just an hour after locking himself in a hotel room. In his 2013 autobiography, the time of composition has become 30 minutes.

jenna appleseed

not wikipedia, but somebody on TV Tropes is apparently convinced British joke shops used to be full of fake novelty 'matchboxes' containing 'joke' rubber severed penises, and that's what Compo kept terrorising people with in Last Of The Summer Wine. (and there was I thinking his matchbox probably contained an earwig/relative of Alexandra Beetle)
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/LastOfTheSummerWine

Bad Ambassador

Quote
The following year, [Meg Ryan] provided the future voice of Greta Gerwig's character in the pilot of How I Met Your Mother, a woman-centric variation of the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Dad.

gib

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fist_bump

QuoteThe "fist bump" or "pound" can be traced to boxers instructed to touch gloves at the start of a contest. Likewise, dart players bump fists that are clutching pointed mini-arrows.

Ferris

The page on The Very Hungry Caterpillar is very funny, particularly if, like me, you can recite it from memory because you've read the fucker so often.

QuoteThe caterpillar's diet is fictional rather than scientifically accurate, but the book introduces concepts of Lepidoptera life stages where transformations take place including the ultimate metamorphosis from 'hungry caterpillar' to 'handsome butterfly', and it has been endorsed by the Royal Entomological Society.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Very_Hungry_Caterpillar

Ferris

Or this, from the synopsis.

QuoteIt first starts off at night. In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf. One Sunday morning, a caterpillar hatches from an egg. He is known as the Very Hungry Caterpillar, who loves eating, and so he begins to look for some food. He eats through increasing quantities of fruit on the following 5 days (Monday through Friday). First it's one apple on Monday (but he was still hungry), then two pears on Tuesday (but he was still hungry), three plums on Wednesday (but same thing), four strawberries on Thursday (but same thing), and five oranges on Friday (but same thing). On Saturday, he eats an enormous amount of food (which in reality is not for caterpillars but rather being human food). So, on Saturday, he ate one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon. He got sick from this false eating cycle. Then that night, he had a stomachache from overeating (from all of those 6 days; Monday through Saturday).

But the next morning, it becomes Sunday again. The caterpillar tried again. So he ate through one green leaf (which is a proper food for caterpillars). He succeeded the proper eating cycle this time. And after that, he feels much better. At the end of that, he is not hungry anymore. He is no longer hungry nor a little caterpillar. He is a big, fat, caterpillar. Just as a real caterpillar's cycle goes (first eating leaf, becoming a big and fat caterpillar, then spinning a chrysalis to become a butterfly). The now-big caterpillar spins a chrysalis around himself. There, inside he sleeps in it for 2 weeks. Later, the caterpillar emerges into a butterfly with large, gorgeous, multi-coloured wings.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote
In popular culture

   
The 1986 song by the British post-punk group the Fall, "Terry Waite Sez", which was included on their album Bend Sinister, is about a Namesake.[27]
Waite was mentioned in the song "Buenos Aires '90'" by the British group the Macc Lads.[28]
Waite was also mentioned in the 2009 Christmas special of the British comedy The Royle Family.[29]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Waite#In_popular_culture

The Macc Lads one amused me, if you're going to put that on there you might as well put he's ended up as a profanisaurus entry for an unkempt fanny; it's more well known and less horrible than the Macc Lads.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 29, 2020, 02:50:29 PM
Or this, from the synopsis.
QuoteIt first starts off at night. In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf. One Sunday morning, a caterpillar hatches from an egg. He is known as the Very Hungry Caterpillar, who loves eating, and so he begins to look for some food. He eats through increasing quantities of fruit on the following 5 days (Monday through Friday). First it's one apple on Monday (but he was still hungry), then two pears on Tuesday (but he was still hungry), three plums on Wednesday (but same thing), four strawberries on Thursday (but same thing), and five oranges on Friday (but same thing). On Saturday, he eats an enormous amount of food (which in reality is not for caterpillars but rather being human food). So, on Saturday, he ate one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon. He got sick from this false eating cycle. Then that night, he had a stomachache from overeating (from all of those 6 days; Monday through Saturday).

But the next morning, it becomes Sunday again. The caterpillar tried again. So he ate through one green leaf (which is a proper food for caterpillars). He succeeded the proper eating cycle this time. And after that, he feels much better. At the end of that, he is not hungry anymore. He is no longer hungry nor a little caterpillar. He is a big, fat, caterpillar. Just as a real caterpillar's cycle goes (first eating leaf, becoming a big and fat caterpillar, then spinning a chrysalis to become a butterfly). The now-big caterpillar spins a chrysalis around himself. There, inside he sleeps in it for 2 weeks. Later, the caterpillar emerges into a butterfly with large, gorgeous, multi-coloured wings.

That synopsis is longer than the actual book!

Ferris

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on March 30, 2020, 11:39:37 AM


That synopsis is longer than the actual book!

It uses the same phrases as the book, but adds weird commentary. I read it at least three times a day, so this amused me.

Bronzy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deliverance#Plot

Most Wikipedia movie plots are relatively basic and describe the order of events in simple terms. This part struck me as perhaps slightly too descriptive:

QuoteAfter a verbal altercation, Bobby is forced at gunpoint to strip, his ear twisted to bring him to his hands and knees, being forced over a rotting log and then ordered to "squeal like a pig" by the Mountain Man, who then pulls down Bobby's underwear, taking great delight in making the overweight man squeal repeatedly while spanking him, before being raped by the Mountain Man, who takes great delight in delaying the inevitable and torments Bobby before brutally sodomizing him. Upon sodomy being achieved, Bobby screams loudly, ultimately attracting Lewis and Drew's attention. While this all unfolds, Ed is bound to a tree and held at gunpoint by the other man.

While the second local prepares to assault Ed sexually after the first has finished with Bobby after ejaculating into him and forcing him down into the dirt, Lewis and Drew arrive, unnoticed by the locals. Indeed, the Mountain Man seems quite exhausted by what he subjected Bobby to, tiredly doing his braces up as he lumbers over to his companion. Sensing the rapist's vulnerability from the afterglow he experienced from sodomizing Bobby, Lewis kills the rapist of Bobby from behind, with an arrow from his recurve bow, the other man dashes away into the woods.

I should point out that some of the stuff this bit mentions isn't even shown and the stuff that is shown lasts a few minutes, at most.

samadriel

Haha, that reads like erotic fanfic, oh dear...

mjwilson

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 30, 2020, 02:40:02 PM
It uses the same phrases as the book, but adds weird commentary. I read it at least three times a day, so this amused me.

The switch from "but he was still hungry" to "but same thing" is fun. Gotta switch things up.

popcorn

A charming addition to the Whisper of the Heart article.

Quote
The stage of the movie is around Seisekisakuragaoka station in Tama city, Tokyo. Where Sizuku Tsukishima went up and down stairs and where she was confessed love by her classmate are on top of the hill near the station. There are paper fortunes at the shrine that was the stage of confession of love.You can relive the movie scene.

There are three shops where fans of a movie "Whisper of the heart" go at Chikyuyasan rotary, the stage of the movie.

The first one is Noix. There are cookies and cakes of the movie in this store. Its owner is kind and the shop is popular.

The second one is wazakura. The married couple that own the shop bear a resemblance to Shizuku Tsukishima and Seiji Amasawa. They are kind and are loved by fans. The shop is opened as a coffee lounge at noon on Saturdays and Sundays, and you can eat "nabeudon" when you reserve it. The shop is loved as a space where fans interact. On weekdays and Saturday/Sunday nights, it is opened as Japanese restaurant.

The third one is "Atelier tassel". It is coffee lounge and its owner looks like Shizuku Tsukishima's mother. Sundries are also sold at this shop. Many fans visit the place to meet the owner and buy coffee and cute sundries.

Ferris

This caption.

Quote


QuoteFocaccia al rosmarino prepared with fresh rosemary from a garden

GMTV

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quavers

Quavers range is desolation, last man standing..

QuoteMain range
Cheese
Prawn cocktail (discontinued)
Salt and Vinegar (discontinued)
Cheese and onion (discontinued)
Bacon (discontinued)
Deep Fried Chicken with sage (discontinued)
Chinese Spicy Beef (discontinued)
Limited edition
Ketchup (discontinued)
Sweet and sour (discontinued)

Ferris

^Stewart Lee's new routine has let itself go

kalowski

Some actress my daughter like called Victoria Justice
QuoteJustice's musical influences include Michael Jackson, Madonna, Britney Spears, Pink, Sara Bareilles, Coldplay, No Doubt, The Jackson 5, The Beatles, Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Hall & Oates, Billy Joel, Carly Simon, Karen Carpenter, Elton John, Alanis Morissette, Carole King and Diana Ross.[

kalowski

One of the languages available in Wikipedia is "Scots".
Here, for example, is Bill Gates:
QuoteWilliam Henry "Bill" Gates IIVI (born October 28, 1955) is an Americans business magnate, investor, programmer, inventor an philanthropist. Gates is the umwhile chief executive an current chairman o Microsoft, the warld's lairgest personal-computer saftware company, which he co-foondit with Paul Allen.

He is consistently rankit in the Forbes leet o the warld's wealthiest fowk an wis the wealthiest oweraw frae 1995 tae 2009—excludin 2008, when he wis rankit third; in 2011 he wis the wealthiest American an the warld's seicont wealthiest person. Accordin tae the Bloomberg Billionaires Leet, Gates is the warld's richest person in 2013, a poseetion that he last held on the leet in 2007.

PlanktonSideburns

THE FAAAACE OF ROBIE SAVAGE
THE FAAAACE OF ROBIE SAVAGE

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: kalowski on June 21, 2020, 09:43:27 AM
One of the languages available in Wikipedia is "Scots".
Here, for example, is Bill Gates:
It's said that there are more systems for spelling Scots than there are speakers of Scots, but that's truly half-arsed. Although that's still about 49% more arse than the Old English Wikipedia. I've also no idea why Gates appears to be shouting in the photos on the Old English and Quechua wikis but not anywhere else.

Ferris

Listening to the most recent Adam Buxton podcast has me looking up Waxham. The 1-2 combination of these facts with zero context made me laugh.

QuoteWaxham Hall is reputedly haunted by the ghosts of six members of the Brograve family, all of whom died in battle. It is said that an 18th-century owner of the house once invited them all to dinner.[1] Waxham Great Barn (Listed Grade 1) built about 1570, at 178 feet long is one of the largest barns of its age in the country.

Inspector Norse

Gigi Buffon. One of the world's greatest goalkeepers. World Cup winner. Most capped Italian international ever, most career appearances in any top European league.

But more importantly:

QuoteIn May 2018, Buffon announced his partnership with the video game World of Tanks

Twonty Gostelow

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Irwin#Death
QuoteAs a final tribute, Australia Zoo staff spelled out Irwin's catchphrase "Crikey" in yellow flowers as Irwin's truck was driven from the Crocoseum for the last time to end the service.

An tSaoi

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casino

QuoteCasino


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about establishments for gambling. For other uses, see Casino (disambiguation).
"Gambling house" redirects here. For the film, see Gambling House (film).

I was looking for the Scorcese film.