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Facebook The Third [split topic]

Started by Small Man Big Horse, July 19, 2010, 11:07:55 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cerys

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on August 20, 2010, 12:20:18 PM
Someone's just linked me to a youtube video of a weatherman maknig a rude sign!!!

Has anyone else seen this?!?!?!???

OMG!!


boki


Small Man Big Horse



That, or she's being mauled to death by a fox / Chris Langham. But nah, tis better to post about it on FB rather than actually check, ain't it.

Kapuscinski

Just been farting around on Openbook.

Typed in "semen" and came across the profile of a prostitute who likes letting her Facebook friends know all about her activities.

"Working girl, been on the game for 20 years now and still love it! Grew up on the Wirral but been living in London now for 12 years. Currently living in Canning Town but can often be found around East Ham, Barking and Bow. Love a good scrap, special brew and did I mention my fondness for cock?"

"X is off to take a shit"

"Who says the police can't be bought? Thank you PC XXXX".  (I've starred out the number she gave)

"X was arrested for soliciting in New Cross last night (have the police nothing better to do around there!) and has a court hearing for Monday morning...I may be gone for a while my friends! Mandy call me!"

"Anyway, anyone who's anyone knows that dental dams are for lezzers."

"Has just discovered her clit still works. Thank God and that lovely Polish surgeon."

"Has just spent 4 God damn hours waiting down A&E with her clit wrapped in a bag of frozen peas."

"X  is having a night in. A bottle of gin, a vibrator and double pack of 8AA duracell. Bliss."

"Pulled some nob with herpes scabs last night and woke up this morning feeling like my vagina's been glassed."

"is on the corner of the Old Kent Road and Tower Bridge Road wondering if she'll get any business tonight....<sent from my wireless blackberry>"

She was also sacked from a food shop in Barking for smoking while preparing food.

I'm fairly sure it's not a joke profile.

Vitalstatistix

Quote from: Kapuscinski on August 29, 2010, 11:57:41 PM
"Has just discovered her clit still works. Thank God and that lovely Polish surgeon."

I laughed.

Ronnie the Raincoat

You need to link this profile.  I tried searching for the terms you linked and nothing.  I want to be her friend.

Retinend

a page on facebook: "You shagged Dipsy, but are you gonna bang Po?"

I don't get it?

El Unicornio, mang

A gay friend of mine is, for some reason, surprised that his account was suspended after he put up a photograph of a man sucking a dick.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Ronnie the Raincoat on August 30, 2010, 02:00:23 PM
You need to link this profile.  I tried searching for the terms you linked and nothing.  I want to be her friend.

I can't find her either. I want to be her customer.

Searching for the word "prostitute" brought up these updates, all from women:

"My dad told me that i could make alot of money as a prostitute!! :O!! lmfao!! xD"
"If a man rapes a prostitute is it classed as rape or shopliftin? lol"
"For fucks sake! I work in a sex shop. This does not mean I'm a prostitute, or a stripper, or sexually promiscuous. It means I work in a shop, and sell lingerie and toys. How come nobody can tell the difference? Absolute fucking pigs."

Which should be in the bleak thread really.

Quotea page on facebook: "You shagged Dipsy, but are you gonna bang Po?"

I don't get it?

It's some sort of Teletubbies joke I'm guessing. Makes no sense to me though, unless he did shag some girl called Dipsy. Well, you never know.

chand

Quote from: Retinend on August 30, 2010, 11:13:25 PM
a page on facebook: "You shagged Dipsy, but are you gonna bang Po?"

I don't get it?

It's a pun on this song:

Funky Dee - Are You Gonna Bang Doe?

Mister Six

Quote from: Talulah, really! on July 31, 2010, 08:33:02 PM
"Our Lord Jesus was born in a stable but that didn't make him a donkey. You Sir, may have been born in a hospital but you grew up to be an Ass."

Splendid stuff.

actwithoutwords


ozziechef

This is good fun - match the offensive facebook status with the photo:

http://www.tomscott.com/whosaidit/

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: actwithoutwords on September 16, 2010, 02:29:15 AM
Could someone please join me here? I'm starting to feel like I've gone out on a limb.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ive-masturbated-over-Christine-ODonnell/118849744835911
I'm with you, don't worry. I had to put an apology for joining it to those of my friends who've got no idea who she is.

actwithoutwords

Thanks. Yeah, it was a bit of a risky title. Fucking facebook have taken it down though. Cunts. Robbed me of my chance of glory. They just can't handle satire.

chand

Quote from: actwithoutwords on September 17, 2010, 08:17:57 PM
Thanks. Yeah, it was a bit of a risky title. Fucking facebook have taken it down though. Cunts. Robbed me of my chance of glory. They just can't handle satire.

Really? It seemed fairly innocuous to me, surprised it got taken down.

actwithoutwords

Quote from: chand on September 17, 2010, 08:52:38 PM
Really? It seemed fairly innocuous to me, surprised it got taken down.

Yeah. It never even occurred to me that might be a possibility. Presumably humourless tea partiers reporting it. For all the fifty-odd members it had, they clearly saw me as a threat.

QuoteYou created a page that has violated our Terms of Use. A Facebook page is a distinct presence used solely for business or promotional purposes. Among other things, pages that are hateful, threatening or obscene are not allowed. We also take down pages that attack an individual or group, or that are set up by an unauthorised individual. If your Page was removed for any of the above reasons, it will not be reinstated. Continued misuse of Facebook's features could result in the permanent loss of your account. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit the Terms applicable to Facebook pages at http://www.facebook.com/terms_pages.php.

Famous Mortimer


Jemble Fred

The problem with mocking moral-crusading Christians like her is that huge numbers of people do the same thing to similar nutters at several junctures in the Bible, and of course end up being horribly killed while the smug God-botherers hang around to tell the tale. So Scripture-lovers are entirely protected from ever having to consider whether they're right or not. Mocking them just makes them feel more like Noah, or Moses. In fact, it's only with Jesus that the mockers finally get to outlive the nutter.

imitationleather

FACEBOOK IS DOWN!!!

This is clearly the endtimes, people.

Subtle Mocking

Zuckerberg promised to close it down if he ever got richer than Steve Jobs.

El Unicornio, mang

It was down yesterday too. At least I'm getting some work done though...

imitationleather

I wish facebook wasn't down. I want to make a status update about how much I'm panicking about facebook being down. :(

vrailaine

Blagh, I had my account deactivated for a good fortnight or so there, had just logged on to have a look through what everyone's been up to and this happens.

purlieu


Subtle Mocking

Mine came back momentarily, then swiftly buggered off again.

mobias

It would be so fucking amazing if it had gone forever but alas there is no god...

Uncle TechTip

Nothing appearing here. This is great! Imagine all the people with nothing to do! I bet some will complain about the effect on Farmville or whatever.

Oo, it says Gateway timeout with an unusual error. The proxy server did not receive a timely response from the upstream server. Does FB use a caching service, Akamai or such? this could infer the problem is within Facebook. Just this week I reading about how they use literally tens of thousands of MySQL servers.

Shit it's back. I'm gonna logon just to add  unnecessary load.

chand

Quote from: imitationleather on September 23, 2010, 08:25:52 PM
I wish facebook wasn't down. I want to make a status update about how much I'm panicking about facebook being down. :(

Tweet that shit!

Working for me now, internittently.