The X Factor 2010

[Blue Jam]

Watching Xtra now and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take

[Blue Jam]

It looks like Simon got

Spoiler alert

The Groups

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and that

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The Reason

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,

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Sugar Bullet

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and

Spoiler alert

Husstle

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made it to the Judges' Houses stage:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/latest/2010/08/31/wannabes-trashed-cowell-s-villa-115875-22525574/

[mycroft]

Not to be outdone, Your Supa-Soaraway has presented Simon with a petition from its readers demanding the reinstatement of the mentally dispossessed lady who did Mercy on episode one. 'Cause Britain laaahrves a mental, dunnit?

All I caught on Saturday was groups of eerie grinning young homosexuals giving off that hideous Glee vibe, and Katy Perry being irritating. At this rate I'll become an "only watches the live shows" casualty, as well.

[Ja'moke]

Cher was good last night wasn't she?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JglWZ-wC3Vk


First episode this series that actually entertained me.

[Subtle Mocking]

She was good but she won't get anywhere with that name.

[mycroft]

I dunno, would you pay to see her? She was singing in the club style quite a bit, too.

Watched last week's Xtra Factor yesterday. The government ought to have squads of big teenagers who go round schools dishing out beatings to kids like that awful one who appeared at the end. Eeeurgh. Another graduate of the Ray Quim School of Entertaining Harriden Aunties (Who Aren't Really Your Aunties, They're Just Referred To As That). Cowell seemed undecided on him though, so he hopefully won't get far. Although we're doomed if Louis gets his hands on him*


*_{not in that way, I leave those jokes to his fellow-judges}

[Ja'moke]

She was the only one, that was shown, that attempted something different, and I thought her voice worked well with that track. Whether her vocal capabilities stretch beyond that is yet to be seen.

Spoiler alert

She makes it to the judges houses, and I reckon she'll be put through to the live shows.

[close]

[Huzzie]

Cher was good last night wasn't she?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JglWZ-wC3Vk


First episode this series that actually entertained me.

She's the only person I have ever seen on this show (I must admit I don't and have never really watched it properly) who I thought was legit. She was really great.

Anyway, two things, firstly, you know that Halo song at the end of that clip? Have you heard Beyonce doing that in a hospital in Singapor?...
Beyonce - Halo Acoustic HD [LIVE! Hospital SINGAPORE 2009]
Beautiful!

And, mr Moke, who is this girl you keep having as an avatar? What's it all aboot?

[Ja'moke]

And, mr Moke, who is this girl you keep having as an avatar? What's it all aboot?

Just some girl I've kidnapped and locked in my loft.

It's Britney Haynes, a contestant on the current season of Big Brother USA.

[confettiinmyhair]

They need someone that screams 'NOW' and Cher Lloyd seems to fit that bill. The trouble is she is ready to go. She's got the image, the so called Brap Pack (Chipmunk, Tinchy Stryder, Tinie Tempah etc.) would be creaming themselves to work with her, and she has Stateside crossover appeal. The worldwideweb spread of her audition means that there is an audience ready to consume her pop product. The concern is that the X-Factor Show (should she make it through), including the marathon slog through Big Band Week and Rock Week is likely to take away her shine, or should I say her swagger.

[Lady Beaner]

Her face scrunches did make me laugh though... or was that just me?

[Huzzie]

Surprised no one has mentioned this yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrNbLBS1D2Q

Some punch up or other.

I didn't know owt about it except for a couple of you mentioning it earlier on and then I saw something in the paper today, so thought I'd give it a look.

Still haven't watched the vid yet, so it might just be something and nothing, hyped up and over.

EDIT: Tsch. Just horrible people. Like that Matt Lucas character.

[Subtle Mocking]

Surprised they didn't do what they usually do and save punch-ups for the last episode. Oh well, we've got Cheryl Cole's malaria to...look forward to?

[Ja'moke]

Is Dannii Minogue coming back this series at any point?

[Huzzie]

Surprised they didn't do what they usually do and save punch-ups for the last episode. Oh well, we've got Cheryl Cole's malaria to...look forward to?

There's been other punch ups? Any chance of a link?

Or... Miss Blue Jam, Ja'Moke and all the other fans... do you fancy linking up a few of your favourite X-Factor moments of all time, type things for us lot who don't really watch. Not necessarily the good performers (unless you want to share a vid of someone good) but just any moments that stand out.

I think that would be good. If you want.

[Ja'moke]

I only started watching in Rhydian's season, not sure what number that was, and I rarely watch the audition shows, only watching this year because I know somebody who is on it, so I'm not the best person to link to best audition moments, but as far as the live shows, Rhydian still delivers for me:

Phantom of the Opera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSUuOlsEDfU

Get The Party Started

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC61Bp_dq8U

[Subtle Mocking]

There's been other punch ups? Any chance of a link?

Actually I was exaggerating a bit there, I meant to say the contestant that's really rude to everybody because they don't get through even though they weren't very good anyway. Here's an example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RTa7DjHjXs

[The Region Legion]

Jesus Fuckholes Christ, you're really talking up that Cher girl? The one who's just doing some made up voice because that's what every single female singer has to sound like now to be considered "good"? Watching all this X Factor has distorted your minds, seriously.

[Subtle Mocking]

Jesus Fuckholes Christ, you're really talking up that Cher girl? The one who's just doing some made up voice because that's what every single female singer has to sound like now to be considered "good"? Watching all this X Factor has distorted your minds, seriously.

It's not really that she's good, more that she's just better than anyone else who's been on so far.

[Huzzie]

Actually I was exaggerating a bit there, I meant to say the contestant that's really rude to everybody because they don't get through even though they weren't very good anyway. Here's an example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RTa7DjHjXs

Eww. God, I've seen her before. Nasty, nasty auld crone!

Regarding Cher, she just seems to have something that others I've seen don't. That may simply be confidence, I dunno but she was certainly entertaining and I reckon that's pretty important skill if you want to be an entertainer. No one's saying she's Aretha Franklin, Billie Holiday, Dusty or Madonna (or even Cher).

[thomasina]

Jesus Fuckholes Christ, you're really talking up that Cher girl? The one who's just doing some made up voice because that's what every single female singer has to sound like now to be considered "good"? Watching all this X Factor has distorted your minds, seriously.

I was actually surprised that her feedback from the judges was so good.  She is so stylised, I think she will be one of those whose voice is alright but is too locked into bad habits to ever be 'untrained'.  I can't see her making it into the live shows and even if she does, she can't win it.  Will make decent telly though, when Cheryl takes her hand, calls her 'Babe', dabs a tear and asks for the cameras to stop before declaring it's too hard and poor Cher isn't through.

[thomasina]

...Anyway, two things, firstly, you know that Halo song at the end of that clip? Have you heard Beyonce doing that in a hospital in Singapor?...
[Beyonce clip]Beautiful!...

Thanks for that Huzzie, no autotune needed there!  Fabulous.

[Icehaven]

enjoyed Louis Walsh's little 'you gotta fight fight fight..' at Cheryl Cole there.

[Subtle Mocking]

Fucking hell I think I hate Tom already.

[Ja'moke]

Nickolo...I already have the feeling he'll be the Rhydian/Jedward of this series, and by that I mean, the act that most people look forward to seeing what they are going to do each week. He was charmingly arrogant.

[Blue Jam]

(double post)

[Blue Jam]

Nickolo...I already have the feeling he'll be the Rhydian/Jedward of this series... He was charmingly arrogant.

I have a feeling that, [noembed]like Rhydian[/noembed], he's been a victim of manipulative editing- contrast how arrogant he seemed in the interview with how nervous he seemed talking to the judges. Maybe they were even taking advantage of his English not being too good- a few of the judges' remarks seemed to go over his head. I liked him and I hope he gets through to the final, and we see he's actually a charming if confused young man.

Or... Miss Blue Jam, Ja'Moke and all the other fans... do you fancy linking up a few of your favourite X-Factor moments of all time, type things for us lot who don't really watch. Not necessarily the good performers (unless you want to share a vid of someone good) but just any moments that stand out.

I think that would be good. If you want.

How could I resist... my favourite X Factor performance ever has already been linked to by Ja'moke, and it was Rhydian's version of Get This Party Started. Ridiculously over-the-top and it shouldn't have worked but it did. It's a shame people thought he'd become a bit of a court jester and he started doing less flamboyant performances afterwards, I thought  those camp and pompous performances were what he did best. The producers also missed a trick by not getting him to do this for the live shows:

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tJloWSUGIM[/noembed]
Rhydian- O Fortuna

Also check this out and see how he blows everyone else off stage on the X Factor tour:

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtMnmcwW_Zo[/noembed]
The finalists- Don't Stop me Know

Right... The Good:

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQdNoiBIvKU[/noembed]
Rhydian again- I Would Do Anything For Love. One of the most perfect song choices ever, not least for the lyrics- this was the first live show, when everyone still hated him.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP8HOcBxDYQ[/noembed]
Leona Lewis- Summertime.  Just concentrate on the singing and ignore the interview which reveals her total lack of personality.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMiShFv7lkI[/noembed]
Austin Drage - Valerie. I think this made me well up a bit when I first saw it, you can even hear the pianist getting into it... he was great until the live shows, which sadly revealed him to have no stage presence whatsoever. And cost me the fiver I'd put on him winning.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzWchl5bb8Q[/noembed]
[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX2dc--Ae3c[/noembed]
Eton Road- I Don't Feel Like Dancing/Does Your Mother Know. Not the best vocalists ever but I just enjoyed their utter campness and the mesmerising beautiful androgynous creature-who-fell-to-Earth that was Anthony. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW91eaVJLQ0[/noembed]
Ruth Lorenzo - Knockin' On Heaven's Door. Purple Rain was even better but Prince's people have had all the audio taken off the YouTube clips. And her bangers were at their best in this one- sadly this clip misses off Simon's "there were two things I enjoyed about your performance... and the singing wasn't bad either" comment.

The Bad:

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciXoFEYDmj4[/noembed]
Chico- Da ya Think I'm Sexy. When I saw this one I thought "did that just happen or did I dream it?" My second favourite X Factor performance ever.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM2UPyeTOsI[/noembed]
The MacDonald Brothers - Fernando. Simon said "This could be one of the most horrible performances we've ever had", but not even he was prepared for the My Lovely Horse-style guitar solo: "Hang on, I can get this..."

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr-p-3CC3AU[/noembed]
Jedward- Oops I Did It Again. Their performances were all craptastic but was probably their best/worst. The talky bit still kills me.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-g3KGeC-AI[/noembed]
The rejects- Earth Song.

Spoiler alert

The Oh Shit Woman

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is one of my favourite TV moments of all time.

The Ugly:

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpcxbPW0mQA[/noembed]
Onka Judge: Earth Song. The fall on his knees was probably less painful than the singing.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAIQQflJ6uI[/noembed]
Zoe, AKA No Way woman. Sadly she later released a novelty record about her audition experience called... No Way.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vzcGvUR_jA[/noembed]
Emily Nakanda, AKA Butter-Wouldn't-Melt, who quit when footage of her happy-slapping a woman emerged. That year one member of one of the Groups was disqualified when it emerged she was on the run from being arrested for getting into a fight in MacDonalds. Classy.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkKaTeWI3KM[/noembed]
Ant & Seb - Mysterious Girl, complete with oddly Geordie-sounding rapping and a live Rickroll.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0j-FopmOf4[/noembed]
Holly and her gob. I believe someone on here went to school with her.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXQ2ScrsGqs[/noembed]
Rude Rachel, who amazingly wasn't as rude as...

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iAHv77R_eU[/noembed]
Ariel the holistic vocal coach, who probably doesn't remember Diary Of A Manic Street Preachers Fan from Melody Maker. I love Simon's "It wasn't a piece..."

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yojJ9xplzhY[/noembed]
Mad Donna, JUST LIKE PRAYER. One of my favourite auditions ever, she was like a vocal terrorist holding the judges to ransom. As a bonus this has a typically off-her-tits Paula Abdul.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzsPO_R__qg[/noembed]
Sharon pissed as a fart on Xtra like a mad aunt at a wedding. The only thing I miss about her is watching her get progressively more drunk over the course of every live show.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=417Zi--vbZU[/noembed]
TV Burp - Harry Hill on Eoghan/Eggnog/Eggfuck and his "voting face"

[Artemis]

I had an interesting chat with a friend who went to one of the live auditions last night. She was saying the audience were asked to make a series of noises (light applause, boos, loud cheering etc.) before anything happened. She said it felt obvious they were going to inject that into whatever was broadcast to represent more of an audience reaction than was actually the case. That confirmed my earlier suspicion that the show is almost fraudulent at this point. I don't mind too much - there's nothing happening of any consequence really, but still. The show attempts emotional manipulation with subtlety equivalent to a sledgehammer to the balls, so the notion that Cowell has a hand in ensuring the public get behind whoever he thinks he'll make most money out of can't be too far from the truth. The cunt.

[Blue Jam]

Arty, that actually happens at most live TV recordings so Simon and Co aren't alone there. I think the audience were asked to do the same when I went to one of the audition shows last year. The most offensive thing was probably the "WE HEART CHERYL" banners and other signs the producers handed out to the crowd- those banners aren't lovingly handmade, oh no.

[Artemis]

Thanks for those clips, Blue Jam.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-g3KGeC-AI[/noembed]
The rejects- Earth Song.

Spoiler alert

The Oh Shit Woman

[close]

is one of my favourite TV moments of all time.

Mine too. When it happened, I was living in a flat with somebody and had to pause it after that lady so I could stop laughing. My flatmate came in before I resumed play and I showed him what had happened. I've never, as an adult, laughed as hard or as long as that moment; it was beautiful. There is something so likeable and British about her - it wasn't malicious laughter at all; it's only uncertainty after all. I can't quite articulate why it is so funny, but it is - so funny.

[noembed]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXQ2ScrsGqs[/noembed]
Rude Rachel,

To her credit, she was obviously telling them they've haven't lived much. Dannii's "I've never ever seen anybody like that before" went some way to providing evidence for Rachel's point.

Of the good stuff, basically every live performance Leona Lewis ever did was so far ahead of anything in her year, it felt breathtaking.  I remember Simon doing his usual 'lets' make this seem close than it is' schtick at the final and refused to believe that little cunt Ray Quinn could stand a hope in hell of beating her.


On a more current note, one thing I've been missing so far this year is Xtra. How's Mrs. Brooker doing? She'll have to do something incredible to fill the Willoughb's shoes