Author Topic: Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever  (Read 3181 times)

imitationleather

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« on: February 06, 2004, 07:46:03 PM »
Right, I feel a need to restart this. Sorry to start another hate thread, but that shithead deserves it.

I was just watching Top of the Pops (well, I have to keep being cool, don't I?) and the fat cunt himself was interviewed on it. I'm surprised they didn't get a young person to act out his words, because surely the sight of him is going to scare any children watching. Anyway, it turns out he's campaigning to get Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre re-released. He also hailed Andre as an artist with "longevity". Oh yeah, that's why he only had one song that anyone remembers and a career that lasted five minutes, you stupid fat cunt. Worse still, on TOTP they'd put the words 'Saviour of Radio 1' above his name on the screen. Argh!

A re-release of that song was so obviously going to happen anyway and has nothing to do with Moyles. It's just him seeing an opportunity to make it look like he has some influence over the record industry and running with it. Next he'll be saying, "Y'no what gang, I think there should be a countdown of the top 40 best-selling singles every Sunday... Woah, this just in! Radio 1 has listened to me and there will indeed be a chart countdown on Sunday! Another cracking idea from the saviour of Radio 1."

What a fucking cunting cunty cunt cunt.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2004, 08:05:31 PM »
Yeah I just saw that, but I was under the impression he was being sarcastic.

Timmay

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2004, 08:05:49 PM »
You do know that he's only taking the piss with the Peter Andre thing?

And his arrogant 'Saviour of Radio 1' aura is part of his act. There's far too many hate threads around here at the moment. Here's hoping the warmer Spring and Summer months might chill people out.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2004, 08:10:52 PM »
Argh! You win again, Moyles. But one day I'll triumph...

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2004, 08:14:52 PM »
Quote from: "imitationleather"
Argh! You win again, Moyles. But one day I'll triumph...


But let's face it, he's still a fat cunt.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2004, 08:18:56 PM »
I'm a fat cunt.  Well, I'm fat.  Not so much a cunt.

You skinny cunt ;p

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2004, 08:20:30 PM »
I've explained before that him being a fat cunt has nothing to do with his weight, it's just the person he is.

Even if he has liposuction he'd still be a fat cunt.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2004, 08:21:03 PM »
He's also a cunt for having a name quite similar to Chris Morris, so that whenever someone says his name on the radio, my heart jumps during the 'Chris Mo...' bit, and then vomits itself up when they say '...yles'

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2004, 08:22:26 PM »
Quote from: "butnut"
He's also a cunt for having a name quite similar to Chris Morris, so that whenever someone says his name on the radio, my heart jumps during the 'Chris Mo...' bit, and then vomits itself up when they say '...yles'


Actually that's a thing, everyone who I've ever spoken to Morris about, aside from the few who like him, have all said "You mean that fat cunt off Radio1?  I hate him, he's proper annoying."

And I've had to explain to them.

I hate that/

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2004, 08:26:46 PM »
"Nah, he's this skinny guy with marks all over his face who makes jokes about dead babies."

I bet you hate it.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2004, 09:19:47 PM »
he is a useless waste of fucking tits and teeth and should be hunted down and killed liked the wretched rabid dog that he is

i watch that radio one telly promo and just dream of that bin lorry heading off round the corner with his lifeless remains tucked up in a black bag ready for dispensing

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2004, 09:34:26 PM »
Top of the Pops, eh? What's happened to it?

It's become a something new but not nice. Moyles promoting crap and wasting time that could have been filled with a good video. Whilst watching suddenly it all turned into Blue Peter as Emma Bunton did a history of Motown section. What was all that about? Yet again another slot that could have been filled with a good band, (of which there weren't any on anyway).

What a pile of crap it's become.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2004, 10:26:09 PM »
24-hour music video channels - that's what has happened to TOTP. Just like, in a different way, the Radiophonic Workshop, it's time has passed.

It needs a swift bullet to the head. Put it out of it's misery.

As for Chris Moyles the brash arrogance is part of the act. I can stand him in small doses, but not an entire show. He's the best of what's left on daytime Radio 1, after Mark and Lard of course. Though it seems they may be leaving soon.

Rumours are rife that they haven't been fired but decided to leave for Radio 2 or 6Music. And when I listen to the show they seem to be hinting about it every now and then. "Gay Simon says 'wave goobye to everyone in the other room.'" and going on about what great music Radio 2 and 6Music play. If they allow them to play what they want I don't really care where they end up as long as I can hear it.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2004, 10:55:09 PM »
he's very much the Jabba the Hut of radio one...

which makes John Peel Obi Wan...

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2004, 11:09:07 PM »
Quote from: "Synchronised Cocks"
Top of the Pops, eh? What's happened to it?
Moyles promoting crap and wasting time that could have been filled with a good video.


I always wondered why they suddenly stopped showing videos. What annoys me is if you don't have Sky or cable then you never get to see music videos anymore. Bring back The Chart Show!

Timmay

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2004, 11:28:14 PM »
Isn't this latest demise of TOTP down to And(i/y?) Peters, trying to reform and improve it? He's managed quite the opposite, from the sounds of it (I've not seen it yet).

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2004, 12:25:42 AM »
It was Peter Andre feat. Bubbler Ranx!  (God curse me for knowing this)

I hope Mr. Ranx gets some credit should this god-awful tune be re-released...

monkhouse terror

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2004, 12:40:22 AM »
Christopher Moyles is indeed a big waste of sex. You can have arrogance as part of your act, but to actually make it FUNNY you need to somehow make it clear that you are intending it as a joke or are just being sarcastic. If however you are just arrogant you get what scientists call 'the Blackwood scenario'.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2004, 12:40:34 AM »
Top of the Pops?! Last I heard that was walking a very short road to a very big death.

Anyway, I think Moyles is quite entertaining. To be honest, I can't really see why you hate him so much.

monkhouse terror

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2004, 12:43:44 AM »
Quote from: "Dr. Gizmonic"
To be honest, I can't really see why you hate him so much.


He is patronising, arrogant, loud, untalented and tries to be funny by putting other people down.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2004, 12:46:10 AM »
Quote from: "monkhouse terror"
Quote from: "Dr. Gizmonic"
To be honest, I can't really see why you hate him so much.


He is patronising, arrogant, loud, untalented and tries to be funny by putting other people down.


...I thought that was the essence of the infamous British Sense of Humour.

monkhouse terror

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2004, 12:49:42 AM »
One key element is missing, the being funny part.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #22 on: February 07, 2004, 12:53:00 AM »
Quote from: "monkhouse terror"
One key element is missing, the being funny part.


He makes me laugh, mind you I usually am busy expiring on Lucifer's own treadmill when I'm listening to him.

Oh well, if he really is as useless as you say then he should be replaced fairly soon, eh?

Gamma Ray

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I think that Chris Morris put it best when he said ...
« Reply #23 on: February 07, 2004, 12:53:10 AM »
Well, there's just something about the guy that screams 'hate me'. What can I say? Still, he's only marginally more obnoxious than other daytime Radio One knob jockeys. When I last had the misfortune to listen to Radio One on a regular basis, the only show that didn't make me want to play squash with the radio was Simon Mayo, and that was only because he played requests. I remember him spinning 'Stairway To Heaven' one time, and being inundated with calls thanking him for playing some actual real music for a change.
 The rest of it was just THE SAME MUSIC AND THE SAME GAGS EVERY DAY. Fortunately insanity delivered me from it.

 And for the last word, I'm sure that you're all familiar with this ...

Quote
Up on the roof a naked DJ smears himself with jam.  One final pleasure in the abject misery of his self-knowledge.  He's distressed, we can hear that now.  Sobs wrack his body, and somehow threaten to spoil the moment for a moment.  But now he's back on track, throwing the coil of three-core around his neck.  He checks the knot,and steps off the edge.  Now before the cord pulls tight, he shouts; "I'm Chris Moyles, please forgive me!"  and the windows all around fly open, and a thousand voices cry out; "No fucking way."  As his spine is snapped apart, I'm thinking; 'God, I hope he heard them'.


Yep.

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2004, 01:04:17 AM »
I know the hate thing is getting a bit depressing..... but talking of Radio 1 dj's, Jo Wiley..... her idiotic enthusiasm... for crap (I haven't used the word 'crap' for years!.....now I think of it, I like it)

Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #25 on: February 07, 2004, 01:06:17 AM »
Did any of you hear him the other morning when they had a 'phone interview with Peter Andre's dad?

I think he was a Cypriot, he was able to communicate very effectively in English, and gave the impression of being a very down to earth, genuine bloke, who was obviously very proud of his son. But get this.... he had quite a strong foreign accent when he spoke.... no,  honestly, he really did!!!

Oh christ how we laughed along with Moyles, and at the silly foreign man

It sounded a bit like he said 'sink' when he meant 'sing'
It sounded a bit like Manuel's "I know naaa-thing" pant-wetter when Mr Andre said "I've no idea"
It still sounded a bit like Manuel's "I know naaa-thing" pant-wetter when Moyles re-played Mr Andre saying "I've no idea"......  No matter how many times it was replayed! seriously, it really did!

I swear, I must have nearly drowned in my own piss it was that funny, foreigners eh? and their silly pronunciations of unfamiliar words... timeless comedy gold from Moyles as he surgically removed every drop of urine from the hapless goon.

monkhouse terror

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Chris Moyles: The Fattest Cunt Ever
« Reply #26 on: February 07, 2004, 01:36:40 AM »
Moyles is so much better than them, moyles doesn't cry himself to sleep at night AND he isn't foreign. God isn't moyles great? He is a bloke you know aswell, he goes on adverts and pretends to collect people's bins.