Moments when advertising wove its wicked spell on you

[Jemble Fred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL1TuS3F7Gc&feature=related

MustNeedWantMustNeedWantMustNeedWantMustNeedWantMustNeedWant...

Only available in Asda they were, at first. My hometown didn't even have an Asda... :(

[small_world]

Ah, I think I had everything in that ad.

When do you become totally unable to play with toys like that? I remember I was pretty old before I grew out of lego fully.[nb]About 27[/nb]

[alan nagsworth]

Seeing those two arrows THHHWIP-THWIP!! into the wood and splintering it up like a weak-ass wooden bitch totally sets my tastebuds tingling for a pint of Strongbow every time.

Also I do quite enjoy those online flash-based ads that invite you to do something like 'shoot five iPods and win a dog', but only because I like to shoot four iPods and then just leave it hanging. Not out of spite or anything, just so I can show off my mad skills but not my selfish desire for material goods. If you saw the way I nail those four iPods with expert precision and mouse-clicking speed, you'd agree that if I wanted to, I could shoot the fifth one, but I could also as easily walk into a pet shop, take out every member of staff in a matter of seconds and walk out with as many fucking dogs as I wanted. And I wouldn't have to wait for them to be delivered either.

[Big Jack McBastard]

I'm all but immune to it all these days, everything new is 'meh'[nb]the exception being HD tellys but then I didn't buy mine.[/nb], I've already got what I need. Also I find myself increasingly pissed off with advertising whenever I encounter it. I barely watch (actual, transmitted) TV anymore and so dodge the majority of 'opportunities' to absorb them.

The last time I can remember it working was, I think, seeing the Comedy Central Chappelle's Show DVDs ad on a series of Southpark I'd downloaded. I thought "Oh I must get those", having only seen .avis of the series at the time, but them I downloaded the Chappelle DVDs anyway so I suppose that doesn't count.

Last time I payed out actual money for something that purely grabbed me through advertising was... hummm.. I'm actually having a hard time with this.. I suppose I should be glad.

I like to think I'm a bit too critical to be taken in by the hype of anything now (oh so jaded), and so, need some familiarity with something similar or at least a few (unbiased) reviews or sources to sway me into actually pursuing something, that's especially true of games, DVDs etc. I can't think of a time a food ad has gotten me, maybe Magnums years ago, but then they were lovely so at least I don't feel wronged by it.

[Jemble Fred]

I barely watch (actual, transmitted) TV anymore and so dodge the majority of 'opportunities' to absorb them.

Same here, and it's most disconcerting how out of step with the nation you become and how quickly – and what a bunch of TWAT society seems to be as a result. Simples? Go Compare? These are just whisperings of cuntery to me, and I'm glad I'm out of the loop.

[Serge]

Because I'm in the same boat, I had no idea what a former colleague of mine was on about when she kept singing the word, 'Moonpig'. Having since seen an advert for them since, I can see that I wasn't missing anything.

[jaydee81]

Surely the king of advertising working its wicked spell on you is McDonalds as a child. The clown, the colours, the free toy, the kitchen you could dip your chips into.
If my parents ever took me to Lincoln for the day when I was a kid, I'd always pester her to take me to McDonalds for lunch. My parents would always prefer to take me to 'the club' which was a council subsidised pub I think, that did awesome sausage, chips and beans. But for some reason, even though I didn't actually like McDonald's hamburgers with all the yukky lettuce and pickles in, and so would therefore only have a carton of chips and a coke, I ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO MCDONALDS!
And even now, when I don't like McDonalds and actually think eating it is usually pretty unsatisfactory and gross, when I drive past a McDonald's drive-thru... a small voice in my head goes... 'ooooo McDonalds... that'd be fuuuuuun!'

[small_world]

How do those internet ads work?
I've been looking at a new phone (HTC Desire) and also looking to sell my xbox 360 and the ads KNOW IT! Every site ad is now a "Get your HTC desire here" or "Buy xBox stuff" and "Covers for HTC desire".... Amazing.
I don't really care, I don't worry about the infringement of privacy, it's just weird.

[23 Daves]

Surely the king of advertising working its wicked spell on you is McDonalds as a child. The clown, the colours, the free toy, the kitchen you could dip your chips into.
If my parents ever took me to Lincoln for the day when I was a kid, I'd always pester her to take me to McDonalds for lunch. My parents would always prefer to take me to 'the club' which was a council subsidised pub I think, that did awesome sausage, chips and beans. But for some reason, even though I didn't actually like McDonald's hamburgers with all the yukky lettuce and pickles in, and so would therefore only have a carton of chips and a coke, I ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO MCDONALDS!
And even now, when I don't like McDonalds and actually think eating it is usually pretty unsatisfactory and gross, when I drive past a McDonald's drive-thru... a small voice in my head goes... 'ooooo McDonalds... that'd be fuuuuuun!'

Nah, it stopped working its magic on me some time ago.  I stopped wanting to go to McDonalds at the age of about eight when I realised you could get a Brown Derby in Wimpy instead (a hot doughnut covered in nuts, ice cream and hot chocolate sauce).  I also realised that I was never going to meet Ronald McDonald in the flesh about two years earlier, since he had been particularly sniffy about turning up at the Ilford branch - it was pretty much game over for me by that point.  And even as a child, I knew their fries were shit. 

On a similar level, I always thought that Rolf Harris was going to say hello to us at KFC, but that had nothing to do with any advert - that was me just getting Colonel Saunders mixed up with everyone's favourite Antipodean eccentric, and somehow thinking that he owned the establishment and was on all the signs.  And if Rolf ever did open an eatery (fast order or otherwise) I have to say I might still be drawn.  God knows what it would consist of, though - Rooburgers, probably.  Yum. 

[non capisco]

I also realised that I was never going to meet Ronald McDonald in the flesh about two years earlier, since he had been particularly sniffy about turning up at the Ilford branch - it was pretty much game over for me by that point. 

One lad at school did claim that Ronald McDonald had emerged from the kitchen and ruffled his hair as he ate at the Gravesend branch, although this was the same individual who claimed his Dad was mates with Harrison Ford so I should have known to treat this story with a greater level of suspicion. I was still palpably disappointed when I had a birthday party at McDonalds and the big surprise the staff had been hinting at turned out to be a colouring book.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Same here, and it's most disconcerting how out of step with the nation you become and how quickly – and what a bunch of TWAT society seems to be as a result.

Absolutely! It's staggering how susceptible people are to it and how swiftly it occupies a bit of their brain.

Simples? Go Compare? These are just whisperings of cuntery to me, and I'm glad I'm out of the loop.

Oh god, I still get snippets of that toss through the radio, warms up the bile and no mistake.

Because I'm in the same boat, I had no idea what a former colleague of mine was on about when she kept singing the word, 'Moonpig'. Having since seen an advert for them since, I can see that I wasn't missing anything.

I'd like to advocate the idea that people spontaneously singing 'advert music' in real life should be shot, just in the knee mind, to help them learn, those that created said adverts however clearly require harsher treatment.

Nah, it stopped working its magic on me some time ago.  I stopped wanting to go to McDonalds at the age of about eight

I think I was about 12 or thereabouts when I noticed that I always seemed to get diarrhoea (or just 'rather runny shits') immediately after eating there and that put me off the place semi-permanently, I say 'semi' because someone fairly recently, round these parts had gotten some take-out and there was a chicken sarnie in there which was my McDs meal of choice in the old days. I scoffed it and it was crap, really disappointing, I could have cooked something 10 times more enjoyable with ease. It's the last thing I'll ever eat from the place, though I'll consent that I did/do like their doughnuts with the chocolate on top, but that's the only thing I'd willingly buy from them now, on the proviso that I suddenly develop diabetes outside one of their branches.

How do those internet ads work? etc

They nab your search terms don't they? Then use them to generate ads that 'seem' tailored for you, I'm not boned up on 'adsense' but I think that's the crux of it, you can kill most of them off by running things like No-Script and Ghostery in Firefox, my internet experience is delightfully ad-free these days thanks to them.

[Serge]

I'd like to advocate the idea that people spontaneously singing 'advert music' in real life should be shot, just in the knee mind, to help them learn, those that created said adverts however clearly require harsher treatment.

I should mention that the girl in question was one of the biggest twats I've ever had the misfortune to work alongside. To help you warm to her even less, she actually used to say 'BTW' out loud instead of 'by the way'.

BTW, I've never eaten McDonalds in my life.

[Big Jack McBastard]

If she ever says "OMG!" out loud I believe you're legally entitled to break her thumbs.

[Serge]

Oh, she probably did that as well. Though thankfully she left a couple of months ago.

EDIT: And I've just remembered that the first time she used 'BTW', because nobody immediately fell to their knees and proclaimed her the Goddess Of Wit And Cool, she bought it up a couple of minutes later by saying, "Oh, did you notice I said 'BTW' then?" not realising that everybody had but was trying to pretend it had never happened.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Better luck next time then!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I never wanted to go to McDonalds. We never went therefore I had absolutely no idea what was good about it. I'm really glad, too.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Like others, I hardly ever watch adverts. Even if I'm watching normal tv, I'll channel hop in the break rather than being subjected to them. But I can remember the last time I succumbed to advertising, it was during M&S's food porn campaign. The chocolate cake was the one which got me, every time I saw the ad I found myself salivating. So I got one, ate it, have been filled with anger ever since. Jesus, I'm able to cook chocolate cake better than that, and in the past I've given several people food poisoning.

[Doomy Dwyer]

Just heard an interview with Charles Saatchi on Radio 4. You'll be surprised to hear that he's an arrogant, humourless, self aggrandizing turd of the first degree. He repeated the punchline to one of his pointless anecdotes twice, presumably because he couldn't quite believe that the interviewer didn't spontaneously soil himself through any and every available orifice to hand in involuntary praise of his scalpel wit. I'm not surprised he did so well in his chosen field. He really is a hideously dull man. What does that nice Nigella see in him? It's baffling. I can imagine him prodding away ineffectually at her big white arse while she is fed razor thin water biscuits generously daubed with satyr cheese by a glistening eunuch lackey. Old Charlie'd be thrusting and lunging for all he's worth, all the while maintaining a constant passionless drone "...and I remarked to Sir Philip Green...I said Philip, you can dress it up how you like love...but you don't sell silk to silkworms...a cashmere nylon mix is...the closest your lumpen blobs...will get to luxury...call it something Latinate... Latinate and evocative... they'll nibble like slugs on lettuuUUUUUUUuuuccccccccccccce" There's a whiff of luxury car interior as he comes, Nigella's glazed eyes flicker briefly at something distant and half remembered. The tiny flame dies as she continues to eat the crackers joylessly all the while the drone continues "...a good man...a solid man...but not a man.... not a man of vision...I'm called to mind an occasion, Maurice and I..." and on it goes...

Sorry, bit off topic. Tea time I think.

[Jemble Fred]

JPGS PLZ

I never wanted to go to McDonalds. We never went therefore I had absolutely no idea what was good about it. I'm really glad, too.

Yeah, there was no McDonalds in my home town, but any time we did go to a sprawling metropolis like Shrewsbury and McDonalds was considered 'a treat', I'd have to be dragged into that hellhole kicking and screaming, eventually grumpily burning myself on an unpleasant apple pie.

[23 Daves]

I'm not dismissing the fact that visiting McDonalds is hardwired into some people's brains as children, however - my wife is a good example.  She actually got severe food poisoning from a branch of McDonalds in Belgium once, swore she'd never return to one of their outlets in her life, and started using them again on a semi-regular basis a year later.  Now, considering the fact that she was actually hospitalised because the salmonella got into her bloodstream and began to attack her heart, that's real dedication to a cause, and harks back to a lot of love for everyone's favourite childhood clown.  If a friend did that to me over dinner, I'd probably refuse to accept any further party invites from them.

Anyway, chicken in McDonalds in the summertime - ill-advised, I'd say.  Even the nurse in the hospital gave a nod and smile of recognition when she said that was where and what she last ate. 

I can't understand why anyone feels any dedication to them under any circumstances.  Even if you want fast food, there's much better fast food out there.  Even the local kebab shop is preferable to that tasteless crap. 

[An tSaoi]

The DOE run a road safety advert over here, which consists of a gang of smug little kids swaggering down the street, past a laughable caricature of a boy racer complete with Burberry hat, while singing a reconstituted version of Pink Floyd's Another Brick In The Wall.

I can't find a clip, but it goes something like this - "Hey! Driver! Leave us kids alone / (Stop, Look, Listen) / We're not gonna be a / 'nother death on the road..."

It's horrendous as you can imagine, and it makes you want every last one of the brats to be taken out by a massive lorry at the next stop. The worst thing is, they've played it so much that I can't listen the original song without hearing the 'new' lyrics. The best illustration of this was when I was getting a lift with some friends, and the Floyd version came on the radio. The other two spontaneously sang the 'death on the road' version. It took all my willpower not to grab the steering wheel and send us careening into the nearest tree.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

My friend claims that film trailers count as being taken in by advertising and uses it as a trump card whenever anyone says "I never fall for adverts" or similar.