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MARY MILLINGTON'S WORLD STRIPTEASE EXTRAVAGANZA!! with BERNIE WINTERS

Started by Jake Thingray, August 30, 2010, 08:46:04 PM

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Jake Thingray


Epic Bisto

Read about this in Simon Sheridan's "Keeping the British End Up" book - it looks bloody awful, but I'd love to see it too. Funnily enough, it's a rip off of an earlier fake striptease movie, but 'ole Bernie replaces Bernard Manning and Su Pollard.

David Sullivan's next opus 'Hellcats - Mud Wrestling' sounds bloody ridiculous. A kiddies paddling pool somewhere in a disused Croydon club, full of rough American dominatrix women beating up Sullivan's staple of petite models. Is it wrong to see this out of curiosity?

biggytitbo

All those 70s 'saucy' soft porn films are more than anything just incredibly depressing.

papalaz4444244

Hmmm... haven't seen that one. It can't be worse than Can You Keep It Up For A Week? starring Boba Fett, Jeremy Bulloch.

Jake Thingray

Quote from: biggytitbo on August 31, 2010, 08:38:53 PM
All those 70s 'saucy' soft porn films are more than anything just incredibly depressing.

A few are indeed depressingly bad, but most are simply sneerworthy and unintentionally revealing about the times; as a genre, I'd still rather watch them than -- well, you know, so I won't bring it up again. At least, as in Sheridan's book and portions of Matthew Sweet's SHEPPERTON BABYLON, they have given rise (oo-er) to some entertaining writing. That tag relating to the Glasgow Empire anecdote genuinely made me laugh.

Gulftastic


Jemble Fred

When I was a similar age, even the presence of Willie Rushton (in the movie, not my bedroom) couldn't prevent 'Keep It Up Downstairs' from seeming to be some kind of erotic masterpiece.

biggytitbo

The problem I have with those films is one second there's a big hairy muff on view, the next someone from dad's army. It just doesn't seem right.

mycroft

I remember catching the end of one which featured some policemen (with their inspector, played by the late great Ronald Fraser) excitedly rushing towards a reclining woman while undoing their trousers. Part of me found, and still finds, that to be a very disturbing image. Ronald Fraser and three other blokes all gang-fucking some lady.

And then there was one where Chic Murray was another policeman who kept falling in a swimming pool as naked women repeatedly ran past him.

In a way, I'm glad I can't remember what these films were called.

non capisco

Channel 5 should show these loads of old tat again like they used to when they were a jerry-built shambles of a channel instead of just bland like they are now.

Gulftastic

Quote from: biggytitbo on September 01, 2010, 07:25:15 PM
The problem I have with those films is one second there's a big hairy muff on view, the next someone from dad's army. It just doesn't seem right.

Given that as a teen, sitting on the top deck of a bus was enough to get me going, one second was quite sufficient, especially with pause and slow mo.

papalaz4444244

Quote from: biggytitbo on September 01, 2010, 07:25:15 PM
The problem I have with those films is one second there's a big hairy muff on view, the next someone from dad's army. It just doesn't seem right.
"They don't like it up 'em!"

papalaz4444244

Quote from: Gulftastic on September 01, 2010, 06:09:41 PM
'Rosie Dixon Night Nurse' was great when I was 13.
It does get full marks for 18yo Leslie Ash but the sad bit is that it's Arthur Askey's last movie. Shame he agreed to appear in this pish.

If you like Arthur Askey watch The Ghost Train instead (coincidentally adapted from a play written by Dad's Army's, Arnold Ridley)

shiftwork2

Quote from: Gulftastic on September 01, 2010, 06:09:41 PM
'Rosie Dixon Night Nurse' was great when I was 13.

Channel 5 showed this in its short-lived Friday night porn slot in 2000 or so.  Part of it was filmed in a cider house / pub just outside Guildford which was the venue for a one night stand I had a few years earlier.  Hence I remember it with a particular randy Robin Askwith fondness.   Phwoooooooar eh lads

Jake Thingray

Quote from: mycroft on September 01, 2010, 07:32:26 PM
I remember catching the end of one which featured some policemen (with their inspector, played by the late great Ronald Fraser) excitedly rushing towards a reclining woman while undoing their trousers. Part of me found, and still finds, that to be a very disturbing image. Ronald Fraser and three other blokes all gang-fucking some lady.

And then there was one where Chic Murray was another policeman who kept falling in a swimming pool as naked women repeatedly ran past him.

In a way, I'm glad I can't remember what these films were called.

Don't recall the Ronnie Fraser one at all, he was in COME PLAY WITH ME but certainly didn't play a poilceman in it. The second one was THE UPS AND DOWNS OF A HANDYMAN, with its unforgettable theme song.

A blessed relief to find an area of low-budget, parochial British cinema that Mark Gatiss is not an all-purpose pundit on, presumably it holds no interest for him.

papalaz4444244

Quote from: Jake Thingray on September 03, 2010, 11:26:15 PM
Don't recall the Ronnie Fraser one at all, he was in COME PLAY WITH ME but certainly didn't play a poilceman in it. The second one was THE UPS AND DOWNS OF A HANDYMAN, with its unforgettable theme song.

A blessed relief to find an area of low-budget, parochial British cinema that Mark Gatiss is not an all-purpose pundit on, presumably it holds no interest for him.
The Ronald Fraser one might be Rentadick?

Jake Thingray

If so, the original poster was wrong on including it here, as it wasn't really a sexcom, being only certificate PG, or A at the time, and had respectable roots, produced by Uncle Ned and written by Cleese and Chapman, until they withdrew their names from the credits on seeing the end result. Fraser played an inept private eye in that, anyway.

Ignatius_S

Movies 24 have been showing British sex comedies this week. I caught a bit Adventures of a Plumber's Mate – I wish I had been able to watch it all because it was such a grim, badly-made film. At one point, there were two thieves escaping from a place they tried robbing at night – the joke, such as it was, had one of them climbing over the wooden fence and the next one, opening a gate, which his partner had obviously not seen. However, as the scene was so poorly lit it was incredibly hard to see anything.

Pretty good cast, Willie Rushton popped up, as did the very talented and very lovely, Elaine Page, but honours have to go to Stephen Lewis.

Adventures of a Taxi Driver, by comparison, was Citizen Kane. Barry Evans, in the lead, broke the fourth wall a lot by talking to the audience, rather as he did in Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush – and his co-star in that, Judy Geeson featured. It's always nice to see Robert Lindsey.

Sad to think that Evans ended his days as a taxi driver.

Absorb the anus burn

I find these films a mix of the depressing & charming... They certainly capture the dreariness of Britain in the 70s - it really did look that shabby. For films that are meant to be sex comedies, they manage to succeed at being neither particularly funny or sexy. Twenty years ago I'd watch them for the gratuitous nudity (albeit brief and badly lit) now I watch them for the comfort blanket factor - ie: appearances of comic stalwarts such as Ronald Fraser, Doris Hare, Richard Wattis and John Le Mesurier.

A guilty favourite of mine is 'The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins' which being a portmanteau sex comedy, has two decent tumbles and five big flaccid embarrassments.

Ignatius_S

Quote from: Absorb the anus burn on September 09, 2010, 02:06:34 PM
....A guilty favourite of mine is 'The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins' which being a portmanteau sex comedy, has two decent tumbles and five big flaccid embarrassments.
Is that a sex comedy? I've only seen it once and that was a child, when it was on one afternoon. I remember that:

Leslie Phillips' amorous intentions are thwarted by gluttony and the doctor in attendance gets it one with the foreign bit that Phillips had invited round. As Phillips is onscreen groaning, the doctor and woman are meant to be tucking in to a meal, but it sounds like they are doing something else.

Stephen Lewis playing a park keeper.

Harry H Corbett trying to pick up women on the London Underground.

Ian Carmicheal and Alfie Bass(?) arguing over right-of-way on a country lane and I think Jimmy Edwards is a county copper. I know that one was written by Galton & Simpson.

Absorb the anus burn

I'd class it a 'sex comedy' in name, but most of the sketches are pretty sexless and humourless. There's lot of dolly birds (something for the Dads - like Sally James) animated soft-porn sequences and a booby lady (as my nephew would say) running around braless for no real reason other than it being a seventies British comedy. I'd say it's a diluted Donald McGill rather than an out n out bonkathon, but it's got some fairly fruity moments.... The best sequence for me (despite him making my skin crawl in everything else) features Bruce Forsyth trying to find £0.50p down a drain for his boss - it features a knickerless Joan Simms crouching over a manhole cover giving Bernard Breslaw a treat, which elevates it to Magnificent Ambsersons status in my crumbling brain.

Jake Thingray

One can really only feel sorry for the frustrated little pervs who trooped out to the local fleapit for CONFESSIONS FROM THE DAVID GALAXY AFFAIR, recently dragged out on DVD. The posters promised them "nearly two hours of sexsationally funny, non-stop porno!" -- they were instead confronted with Kenny Lynch, the aforementioned Winters (slightly predating the "Extravaganza"), Dave the barman from MINDER, future famous father-in-law Anthony Booth, and dear old Ballard Berkeley. Exploitation within exploitation as the use of Booth, and the word "CONFESSIONS" in the title, ripped off the Askwith franchise.