Machete

[VegaLA]

DO see this movie, its the best of the now 3 Grindhouse flicks and the best fun mi've had watching a movie the whole year!

As a throwaway trailer for 2007's Grindhouse double bill they either kept the source material intact (as I suspect) or managed to reshoot it perfectly for the movie so if anyone knows if Machete was planned from the start as a film in its own right let me know the backstory.

There are at least 5 difference from the 07 trailer off the top of my head, the obvious one is that Jeff Fahey's main man is bald back then but not so in the full length movie, and it looks like his Wife and Daughter are played by different actresses (definetly the Daughtser, but does Lindsay Lohan count as an actress?).
As usual Tom Savini is underused but its great to see him playing his usual baddass self on the big screen.
Bob De Niro is fun and both Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are hot on screen. Steven seagall is a parody of his 80s action hero and for some was unrecognisable.

I'll say no more only that you REALLY have to go see this movie to believe it.

[Goldentony]

Yea I can't fucking wait to see this, the only shitter being it's not out here til November the 26th which is a bit balls. Probably be able to pre order a Region 1 DVD by then, either way I cannot FUCKING WAIT TO SEE BIG MEXICAN GUNS AND SHITE BLOWING UP.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Someone told me yesterday that he kills the bad guys. Is this true?

[VegaLA]

Someone told me yesterday that he kills the bad guys. Is this true?

He does indeed kill the bad guys. Sometimes he just maims or injures them, but mostly kills.

He also gets the women, as pointed out by Tagger.

[SavageHedgehog]

There was a time when Seagal and DeNiro appearing together in a film would have been considered a sign of the apocalypse. I can't wait for this baby!

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

I've just seen this and have to go along with VegaLA's recommendation above.  It's a blast.

Danny Trejo's ace in the lead, and pretty much all of the supporting cast deliver the goods.
It's such a gloriously over-the-top 90 mins, and I hope that they do make the sequels that get announced at the end of the film.  ("Machete will return in "Machete Kills" and "Machete Kills Again").

For VegaLA's benefit, there's actually a decent amount of info about the genesis of the film on this Wikipedia page...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machete_%28film%29

[phes]

MUST. RESIST. and wait for cinema release

[Custard]

Quality torrent knocking about, then.

Yep, loved it. Pure OTT, popcorn, daft fun. Exactly what you'd expect, really. Much funnier than i imagined. Stellar cast, an all.

The only character/actress i thought was a bit of a waste of time was Mizz Lohan.

Spoiler alert

The whole unexplored creepy subplot about her dad fancying her i could've done without, too. What is point.

[close]

Not much to add really, but yeah, get it seen.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I watched this this afternoon and loved it, and so was surprised when I read the Empire review.

Ever since the fake trailer for Machete popped up in the Grindhouse intermission two years ago, those among us with a taste for hardcore schlock and jumbo-size edged weapons (which is all of us, right?) have been waiting with bated breath for the real article to arrive.Well, arrive it has and, except in the moments of laugh-out-loud mayhem, it is, unlike its titular tool, surprisingly dull.

Of course, it's an unalloyed joy to see Danny Trejo in the first and, let's be honest, probably the last leading role of his distinguished career (with an $11 million opening, prospects for Machete II are not looking good right now), and the Machete character, a humongously pissed-off ex-Federale with vengeance in his heart and three feet of cold steel in his hand, is an inspired creation. But the film itself is a mess, bogged down in racial politics, government corruption and the plight of illegal immigrants when it should be getting its Mexploitation on and ramping up the carnage. It should have been simple — a by-the-book revenge flick with top-drawer T&A and Danny Trejo carving up the bad guys with his great big metal phal... knife. Instead, Rodriguez blows it the same way he did with Planet Terror (his Grindhouse contribution) by making it needlessly complicated. And while you might admire his championing the downtrodden, duly noting that true exploitation cinema traditionally tackled inflammatory social issues, particularly racism, it's such an overtly dominant theme here that it throws a worthy, wet poncho over everything. Faux exploitation and real politics, it seems, don't mix.

Not that it's all bad — how could it be? And the opening sequence, a riot of limb-hacking hyper-violence in which a naked woman produces a cellphone from somewhere rather less hygienic than a belt holster, certainly gets your attention. Michelle Rodriguez is terrific as a hellcat freedom fighter, sticking it to The Man from a kerb-side taco truck, as is Jessica Alba as a tough-cookie ICE agent in stripper heels and jeans she stole from a baby giraffe. The inevitable Cheech Marin is on fine, hammy form as a pot-smoking priest and Jeff Fahey exudes creepy menace as a sinister businessman with serious daughter issues. Cameos from Don Johnson and Steven Seagal (schooling even Fahey in creepy menace) don't hurt either, and if Lindsay Lohan provides little more than eye candy, at least she provides a lot of it.

Trejo, naturally, is awesome, and cast-wise only De Niro, delivering another ineffably blah performance as an evil US Senator, lets the side down. The action sequences, when they arrive, are as audacious and brilliantly staged as we've come to expect from Rodriguez. But there's just too much going on — botched assassinations, frame-ups, double-crosses, murderous vigilantes, underground militia, a hint of incest... Which all sounds a lot more fun than it is; a chronic case of the whole being very much less than the sum of its parts.

You could say it's (almost) worth the price of admission to hear Trejo deliver the line "Machete don't text", invoking his name with full-on three-syllable, mean-hombre relish. But sadly, on this evidence, Machete don't quite cut it either.

Verdict

This is not the down-and-dirty homage to '70s sex and violence promised by its pre-emptive trailer — or only sporadically so. The cast work hard — Trejo oozes bad-ass charisma — and the film has some outrageously enjoyable set-pieces, but overall, the convoluted plot and Rodriguez' agenda spoil the fun. ***

It just leaves me all but speechless - I mean, how do they get it so wrong? Have can you call the plot convoluted or complicated? The latter which they also apply to Planet Terror as well? Do they really believe this, or are they just dumbing down on purpose? And Jesus, it was a balls to the wall all out action film with some great comic performances sprinkled throughout, and yet they think at times it was dull? Sigh. It just annoys me so much. Empire introduced me to world cinema and so much more in the early nineties, now I find myself strongly disagreeing with their reviews 50% of the time.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I've seen some reviews where they've given it 1 star and said it was terrible, others have said it's excellent. Haven't seen it yet myself.

[momatt]

Definitely need to see this. 
Some great interview videos and concept poster art here.  Though Trejo being really nice in reality spoils it!

http://hypebeast.com/2010/09/david-choe-x-danny-trejo-machete/

[madhair60]

It just leaves me all but speechless - I mean, how do they get it so wrong?

It's Empire.

Saw this awhile back, and it was great fun.  Lovely throwback, and some ridiculous action/gore scenes.  And lots of nudity, wahey lads etc

[Puffin Chunks]

Going to add my support for this film too. It's just plain, over the top good fun. Pure and simple. I found it very amusing and with a great cast as well.

I would highly recommend avoiding the torrents and seeing this at the cinema, as it's the kind of film the big screen was invented for. I saw it in a practically empty screen (in fairness, it has been on for over a week here), but that didn't take anything away from it for me.

I'm actually tempted to go see it again.

[weekender]

Well, I watched this on the back of your recommendations.  I can confirm that it had:

-Nudity
-Guns
-Motorcycles
-Cars
-Priests
-Some sort of big blades, can't work out what they were.  They were like a cross between a knife and a sword, but wider.

Sometimes seeing those things in a film would make me think "God, that must be shit".  Most of the time, that would actually be right, as well.

Not this one though.  This was one fucking amazing masterpiece of enjoyable destruction from start to finish.  Sometimes I want to see a film which has an important moral message, they're nice.

Sometimes though, I want to see a film which fucking entertains me for two hours flat out and doesn't let up.  OK, it probably won't win any Oscars.  But everyone involved was clearly having a blast making it, and when I watched it I had a fucking blast.  Best pure entertainment film I've seen in ages.

No-one mocks 'Back To The Future' for being pure entertainment, do they?  It's like an adult 'Back To The Future'.  There, I've made a quote.

I'm going to try and see it at the cinema at the weekend, that was awesome.

[boxofslice]

Watched it yesterday and indeed it was fun with plenty of OTT violence, stupid dialogue (in a good way) and pointless nudity.  My only quibble would be that Robert Rodriguez over eggs the plot and should've kept it as a simple revenge flick - as someone mentioned, the superflous subplot involving the Lohan character could've been cut.

Now, all I want for xmas is Michelle Rodriguez in her She outfit, please.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If there was some sort of thing you could do to make her smile more, she'd probably be one of nature's finest creations.

[Small Man Big Horse]

There's a joke about my pathetic penis in there somewhere, but I'm not in a self-depricating mood.

So we'll just have to use your penis instead!

[The Boston Crab]

Watched this and Scott Pilgrim last night. This won hands-down in almost every aspect, except teenage angst and stinging memories of being dumped.

I kind of worry about Lindsay Lohan. She's a tragedy waiting to happen, though I was quite pleased to see her tits. Kind of exploitative. Puta de pendejo de De Niro was rubs but everyone else was great, ese.

[knight123]

Just realised that my local cinema isn't showing this or the American. Half their screens are showing harry potter. Boooo.
Would rather not pirate it either, Robert rodriguez is welcome to my money.

[copylight]

Too long for the irony to sustain itself - I disliked it - I felt let down. De Niro's acting in particular was down right offensive. Saying that, I loved Death Proof which means my taste-nodes are a bit fucked.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Am I alone in disliking practically the entire filmography of Robert Rodriguez?  He's one of these guys like Kevin Smith who seems to have an endless supply of geek cachet and goodwill, but a filmography anyone remotely sane would take a long detour to avoid.  I won't be watching Machete, but I did catch Predators on a flight recently and I'll blame him for that, too.  He can shove his stetson up his ass.

[SavageHedgehog]

He's a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none, but if he were a master of anything it would be these kind of trashy, low-budget exploitation pictures. I really like the Mariachi films, From Dusk Till Dawn (heck I even liked the first DTV sequel (although he didn't direct that)) and to a slightly lesser extent Planet Terror. His kids films are well intentioned but go off the rails. Sin City I found overpraised, underwhelming and rather unpleasant; something I'd place more at the feet of Frank Miller personally, though I guess it was probably RR's decision to make an ultra-faithful adaptation so he certainly isn't completely blameless. But Machete mostly interests me for its once in a lifetime cast.

[rjd2]

I just seen this and it was great fun in a cinema all by myself! Anyways retard question alert and apologies in advance for my stupidity...

Spoiler alert

The hitman who helped nail the brother to the cross didn't get killed in this did he?

[close]

[lipsink]

I just seen this and it was great fun in a cinema all by myself! Anyways retard question alert and apologies in advance for my stupidity...

Spoiler alert

The hitman who helped nail the brother to the cross didn't get killed in this did he?

[close]

Spoiler alert

I noticed that too! I thought I'd missed it due to amount of killings flying about at the end.

[close]

Have to say, I was disappointed with this. I think they should've cut out Jessica Alba's boring exposition character and tons of other stuff as it felt quite crowded and slowed it down somewhat. Although, I didn't think much of Planet Terror on first viewing but watched it again this week and loved it.

[SavageHedgehog]

This has disappeared from my area after one measely week. Bah!

[VegaLA]

Confirmed! http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/18851/-machete-sequel-set-to-make-kills