The Apprentice (Series 6)

[Ja'moke]

Starts 4th October.

The official website has revealed the 16 candidates:



http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/series6/candidates.shtml

[vrailaine]

are those faces heavily photoshopped?

[Artemis]

Raleigh looks like the kind of person I'd like to hurt.

[Ja'moke]

Looks like they turned the brightness filter up to 100% doesn't it?

There's short one minute interviews with them on the website. Paloma Vivanco will soon be appearing in my avatar.

[fat handed twat]

Based on absolutely no evidence other than the twattishness of Raleigh's face I hypothesize that the biggest cunts are going to be the ones with the side profile pictures.

[Ginyard]

Paloma Vivanco looks like the warden who'd have the black fisting gloves on in jail. I vote her as queen bitch.

[small_world]

What a bunch of smeg heads.

[thecuriousorange]

"cheered on by a crowd of guffawing toffs"     "Word has it that he left with a young lady that evening."

A harrowing tale, this. Well, until you get to the "There's a debate about whether fish can feel pain or not" bit at the end.

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/apprentice/309432/Apprentice-star-Ben-Clarke-swallowed-a-LIVE-GOLDFISH-whole-in-a-sick-stunt-at-a-boozy-birthday-bash.html

[Blue Jam]

I'll bite their bloody gills out etc etc. Putting this on at the same time of year as The X Factor is just cruel, my brain will explode from being filled with mindless crap from two directions. All the same I can't wait.

Let's have some unfair and shallow judgemental thoughts then... Raleigh Addington is a fantastically twatty name, hopefully he'll be another Raef and be a likeable toff instead. I enjoyed his video and can understand the Boris Johnson comparison he seems very proud of, but then again he's a tennis coach... called Raleigh... Stuart Baggs looks like Son of Gene Hunt and sounds like a real-life David Brent. I think Dan Harris is a character played by Simon Day. Laura "Man In A Woman's Body" Moore seems the most evil so far, Paloma's video is the scariest (wtf is that intro about? she isn't allowed to elaborate), Joanna Riley seems the most normal and likeable. Shibby sounds like the biggest cock. Nice to see they've all got such original role models like Richard Branson and Anita Roddick too.

This is my favourite quote from the website though:

Alex Epstein

Credits himself with originally conceiving the bendy bus

Watch his video, he sounds slightly Welsh to me and the way he says "I'm a maverick" is wonderful.

Karen Brady is no Margaret Mountford, sadly. Junior Apprentice made that abundantly clear. I wish Margaret would take a break from translating hieroglyphics and come back for the series.

[Ignatius_S]

The Apprentice has run into controversy before the first episode of the latest series has even aired after it emerged that one of Lord Sugar's contestants, ex-Royal Marine commando turned mortgage broker Christopher Farrell, is currently on bail for alleged fraud and has a previous weapons conviction....

Farrell, 29, who served as a sniper with the marines in conflicts including Iraq, Afghanistan and Kosovo, has a weapons conviction for possessing an extendable baton and a knuckleduster he did not disclose to the production company that makes the show. He was convicted in September last year, just before filming of the current series of The Apprentice began but after producer TalkBackThames had carried out its standard Criminal Records Bureau check on him.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/sep/30/the-apprentice

[waste of chops]

So Matt Berry and Sugar had a minor spat on twitter; Berry accused Sugar of not actually writing his tweets, and was sent this picture in response:



"You area pillock" is fine as a catchphrase I guess, but it's no "You're fired".

[waste of chops]

Oh, the picture's broken now. What an area pillock!

[Hornet]

My only view thus far is that Laura looks like she may do something filthy in the bedroom

[dr beat]

Paloma Vivanco, Raleigh Addington, Stella English...these aren't people, they're characters in a re-imagining of Howard's Way.

[biggytitbo]

"Everything I touch turns to sold."

"There's nothing mediocre about me, i'm supremely intelligent."

Loving it already.

[Blue Jam]

"Everything I touch turns to sold."

He's even more David Brent-like than I originally thought. Bladdy loving it... loved Weapons Conviction Guy's sycophantic smile at the lifejacket line too.

[Dead kate moss]

'I am Stuart Baggs The Brand.' Oh they knew that was gold and stuck it in the first five minutes.

[Blue Jam]

I think Dan has testosterone poisoning.

[Subtle Mocking]

Fucking hell lads, bargain bangers? You've lost already.

[mycroft]

This sausage-making is essentially the Generation Game, isn't it?

Still, I love watching them getting ripped off by the old hands on the market.

[biggytitbo]

The lads seem quite proud that they're producing dog food.

[Blue Jam]

I love watching them getting ripped off by the old hands on the market.

Me too, it was wonderful seeing these young, overly confident self-proclaimed sales experts being outdone by a real salesperson, and someone they probably wouldn't have looked at twice if they were picking the contestants. Those market traders probably have more in common with Suralan Lord Sugar than the contestants do.

[no_offenc]

The narrator just used the phrase "meaty bangers" to describe the girls' sausages. Anyone from here on the writing team?

[Blue Jam]

Who's doing the mincing... you look like a sausage kind of guy... have you seen the size of them? etc. Most homoerotic episode ever.

EDIT: "Excuse me, would you like a meatie?" Oh gawd...

[mycroft]

Tell you something else, none of these oiks know how to wear a boater.

And if somebody buzzed my door selling sausages I'd call the bloody police (and I'm from Ayrshire, where it's not unusual for a dodgy geezer to try and sell you bacon in the pub).

[Subtle Mocking]

"It was cringeable" classic.

[Blue Jam]

"one of the most successful people in Britain, if not the world..." priceless look from LordSugar there.

Stuart sound slike this year's Alex/Ginger Jenny/Lady MacBeth figure

[biggytitbo]

Baggs has to be the biggest prick in the history of the show, I'm loving him!

[Blue Jam]

Baggs has to be the biggest prick in the history of the show, I'm loving him!

Looks like Gene Hunt, sounds like David Brent, on top of that he's a prick on a million different levels... I love him too! Please keep him in Lordsugar...

[mycroft]

"I've had my share of failures, yeah"

I would have loved it so much if he'd added, "And you know all about a few of those eh, Lord Sugar?", and then walked out. God, this programme makes me so happy.

No surprise on the firing, anyway. The first team leader who leaps to the task always takes the first bullet. It's like being the first man over the top in the trenches.


EDIT - And next week they're going to market a shit town! Brilliant!!