Friday Fun Thread - The Next Generation

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

At last! It's another entry (and a shiny new thread) for our highly irregular feature. Previous thread here (it's a good read, honest). Essentially, whenever I remember or can think of something, I'll set a 'creative' challenge on a Friday. Submissions are welcome in text form, images, mp3, sculptures, tattoos, sky writing, whatever - and new challenge ideas will always be gratefully received.

Your task for the next God-only-knows is - WACKY CHALLENGES AND THEIR ACCOMPANYING MONEY-SPINNING SPIN-OFFS. Oh, you know the sort of thing -

Dave Gorman's True Calling
You know how when you call a local number from your landline, you don't have to put the area code in? Well for this challenge, Dave exploits this by going to every different area code area in the country and rings his home number from a landline to see who answers. Having located a person with the same number as him, he then stays round their house for a fortnight, all the while reminding us how bloody wacky it all is.

Morgan Spurlock's Synthesize Me
A synthetic Morgan Spurlock is programmed to go into various synthesizer shops, and whenever they ask him if he wants to buy a synthesizer he has to say yes. Healthcare professionals will regularly monitor how many synthesizers he's got.

Sarky Cunt
Danny Wallace travels the length of the country, and whenever someone says absolutely anything to him at all, he has to repeat it back in a high-pitched sarcastic voice. Will he succeed in being called a sarky cunt by 53% of Great Britain's left-handed population before the artificial deadline of Christmas 2020? No.

Getting A Lift To The Shops Strapped To The Back of Jeffrey Archer Without Him Noticing by Tony Hawks.
Self-explanatory.

Dave, Danny and Tony Top Each Other
Gorman is flown to Rio. Wallace to Tokyo. Hawks to Reykjavik. Each protagonist must hunt down the other two, and kill them both in a wacky fashion. The last man standing gets the book deal.

Now you.

x

[the midnight watch baboon]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!



hmmm, can't think of anything.

But I will!

[Jemble Fred]

Richard Herring's Burning Love
The ex-star of TV's 'Rod Hull's Jelly Show' is tied to a stake surrounded by tinder, and will proceed to tell his audience in minute detail about every groupie he's ever fucked, to see at what point someone in the crowd snaps and approaches with a box of matches.

_{I must have had a dozen ideas for Friday Fun Threads since last we did this. All gone from my brain now.}

[Jemble Fred]

Bruce Forsyth: Live Forever!
His whole life has been a wacky challenge.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Rhod's Eating Gilbert's Grape

The gravel-voiced Welshman's one-man quest to EAT the CONTENTS of his own fruitBOWL!

[Danger Man]

Chiles' Chilly Chilean Chillies Challenge

Adrian Chiles swims both the Atlantics (and a bit of the Pacific) before climbing the highest mountain in Patagonia. At the top he eats a bowl of Naga Jolokia peppers in the hope that it will warm him up a bit.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Dave Gorman's Gormanagram Adventure
Dave Gorman, in the course of his challenge to meet people whose first names are anagrams of his surname, bumps into Morgan Spurlock, who is conducting his own, very similar challenge...

Danny Wallace's Recursion Experiment
Danny Wallace writes a spin-off book about his experiences making a spin-off television series about writing a spin-off book about the spin-off television series - all the while telling us how much he enjoys a nice cup of tea.

No Shit, Spurlock
Morgan Spurlock starts up a Private Detective agency, and is forbidden from defecating until he has solved all of his cases.

Tony Hawks' Prose Cater
Arthur Smith bets Tony Hawks that he can't provide a delicious banquet for a large gathering of novelists.

[thepuffpastryhangman]

Fake TV Shows: A daft grin, fake tan and a hint of cigar does not a Terry Venebles make. But Tel can't be everywhere, even though his agent claims he's always available. Hence the numerous Venebles look-a-likes opening retail park supermarkets, being publicly supported in crisis by Gazza and hanging around at Watford Gap with twenty large in a brown paper bag. This one's for them to take pride in their appearances.

[Jemble Fred]

Richard Herring's Richer Daring
The ex-star of TV's Patrick Marber Show visits every provincial comedy venue in the UK with a huge box of DVDs and books to sell, and a hope for better quality groupies than they had in Abergavenny. (Oh, okay then, and a bucket for Scope.)

[the midnight watch baboon]

Charley's Wilson War

Erstwhile biker Charley detaches from the McGregor nipple, dusts off his biking pants and sets off on a worldwide bid to wage war against celebrity Wilsons of the world. In leg/episode one, he stalks Spurs's Wilson Palacios as he ambles in for training, with a loudspeaker to deliver his threat and a box of hand grenades to enforce it. Will Charley become a two-wheeled angel of death? Who else will he target over the next six weeks? That volleyball from Castaway? The Beach Boys geezer? God knows.

[gmoney]

Wan in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

Popular TV personality Gok Wan launches his own currency, with the aim of achieving favourable exchange rates in Australia.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Charley's Wilson War

Erstwhile biker Charley detaches from the McGregor nipple, dusts off his biking pants and sets off on a worldwide bid to wage war against celebrity Wilsons of the world. In leg/episode one, he stalks Spurs's Wilson Palacios as he ambles in for training, with a loudspeaker to deliver his threat and a box of hand grenades to enforce it. Will Charley become a two-wheeled angel of death? Who else will he target over the next six weeks? That volleyball from Castaway? The Beach Boys geezer? God knows.

Charley Boorman of course.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Danny Wallace's Tizer Adventure
Wallace has to go 30 days and nights without drinking Tizer ONCE, or his wife will leave him, probably.

Dave Gorman's Carbon Footprint Adventure
Dave Gorman travels the world on whimsical adventures, popping over to America for no good reason one day, heading over to Australia on a flimsy pretext the next - all the while pretending it's causing him some financial or moral difficulty. Now a BBC series!

Bringing The Members Of The Slovakian Parliament To Full Sweaty Completion By Next Easter by Tony Hawks
Self-explanatory.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gordon Bastard's Fuck Off To Death - Gameshow in which retired cockney Gordon Bastard invites contestants to fuck off and die.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Guy Ritchie's Penny For The Guy

Unable to get funding for his latest cockney gangster flick, Guy Ritchie attempts to make the money by asking everyone in Britain for a one pence piece. By the end of the eight part series will he have enough? The answer we pray is no.

Jerry Sadowitz's Youtube Challenge

Danny Wallace uploads every clip of Jerry Sadowitz he can find to the popular video sharing website - but can Jerry go 24 hours without tracking him down and beating the shit out of him?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Yes, that's right! It's the Christmas yuletide festive Friday Fun Thread Christmas 'Christmas Special' Special special!

Our screens are awash with seasonal specials at this most seasonal time of year. So why not suggest a few yourself? No, that's rhetorical. In something of a cross-over with Fake TV shows, it's time to make up some Christmas telly nonsense. For example:

Eastenders
Not wishing to be outdone by Corrie's recent holocaust, Easties ramps up the grief as Jane leaving the gas on in the caff renders the very fabric of Albert Square in twain. Meanwhile, the alien parasite living inside Dot's brain is activated, turning her into a ruthless cannibal, and a dysentry-infected sewage pipe is accidentally relocated directly above Carol Jackson's Christmas dinner.

The Royle Family - Jim's Festive Fart
In this extra special Christmas day festive special, Jim does a fart and it's all very moving.

Only Fools and Horses
It's Christmas in Peckham, and Del and Rodney find some money, lose it, find it again, lose it again, before finally finding it again, to much joy and an investigation for money laundering by Detective Inspector Jack Frost.

The Hairy Bikers' Grim Chrimble
The Hairy Bikers pretend to be cheery as they sit together in a boarded-up abandoned pub in the dark, picking pork scratchings out of each others' arses.

A Very Jared Christmas
The 'Pot Noodle' and Persuasionists star points out that he has an unusual name for a few hours.

Doctor Who: The Christmas Christmassy Christmas of Xmas Time
The Doctor travels to Planet Lapland to defeat the evil Bauble Monsters armed only with a mince pie, and his special magical powers. Meanwhile, the mysterious alien virus Sum'thin-4 Thadadz infects Amy Pond, forcing her to wear a sexy Santa outfit for the duration of the episode.

The Green Green Grass At Christmas
Boycie (John Challis) steps in some reindeer poo and then says 'Marlene!'

The 'Big Top' Christmas Special
Well, you get the idea with that. Now you go!

[Jemble Fred]

Giles & Sue: No Room At The Inn!

Sue Perkins is forcibly impregnated with sundry cum as she sleeps, and nine months later she and Giles fucking Coren are set the task of travelling from Jerusalem to Bethlehem with only a donkey for transport, living on whatever they can scrape from the streets, or beg from passing tourists. Hilarity ensues when they end up in a shed trying to cope with starvation and a birth with severe complications, armed with only straw and prayer – until Griff Rhys Jones, Dara O'Brien and Rory McGrath turn up with live sheep to slaughter and prepare.

[the midnight watch baboon]

The Queen's Speech

A rabblebast of experts deconsrtuct our beloved monarch's vocalisations and debate if she is indeed capable of speech.

[Ginyard]

Stargate Universe

Dr Rush realizes that Destiny's purpose is to make mince pies.

Oz

Santa appears in the shower with some belushi for the boys.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Dexter

halls with boughs of holly.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

And our Christmas film, King Kong Merrily On High