Joke du Jour

[butnut]

What do mathematicians do when they have constipation?
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Work it out with a pencil.

[splattermac]

A NEWLYWED couple returned to their apartment after being on their
honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.

"Shh!" said the bride, "all the neighbours will know what we're about to
do. These walls are paper-thin.

"In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, why
don't we say, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"

So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the
washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife, who rolled over and fell
asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself so she
nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine
door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No, thanks," said the husband, "It was only a small load so I did it by
hand".

[Rubbish Monkey]

Two aliens land on the earth. They get out of their craft, take
their scanners, and start exploring their surroundings. After walking
for a while, they suddenly see a Burberry cap lying in the middle of the
road. So the first alien says: 'UX251, do you see the object on
the ground?'

'Yes', answers the other, 'What could it be?'

'I don't know, UX251, pass the scanner and see if we can retrieve some data
on it.' So they scan the object. 'No data available,

UZ11, what will we do now?'

The alien thinks for a while and picks up the cap, and puts it on his head.
'What could this object possibly be?' asks the other one.

'I don't know you weirdo,' says the alien, 'but I sure feel like beating
the crap out of you.'

[NattyDread]

Q - What do you do, if you find a trumpet growing in your garden?

A - Root It Oot.