I Got Twenty One Words...

[Hairy Chin]

using a glaring blue crayon held in his left hand. Almost Yearly tried his best to distract him by shuffling toward

[TJ]

TraceyQ, lifting up her top and shouting 'oi Pie-Face, get a load of this'. But Pie-Face remained unmoved while PLC fainted.

[Plank]

If only Yearly knew that Pie-Face had lost his sex drive in a Turkish prison. To get Pie-Face they needed bigger...

[Jemble Fred]

ratings. So TraceyQ was replaced with Jennifer Aniston, PLC with Kelsey Grammer, and Rats was completely CGI, and voiced by David

[Munday's Chylde]

Dickinson who declared, "Well thats a relief, the continual dragging of Tracey back into this was bordering on sinister." but then

[TJ]

Hang on...

[TJ]

"...your wheels are made of...". Over the horizon, a combine harvester was approaching. "Les Dennis to the rescue!", exclaimed Rats.

[Jemble Fred]

Of course, one whiff of Les Dennis and Jennifer Aniston was off, humping the scouse loser's leg like a pitbull bitch

[smoker]

and so, their mission accomplished, plc and almost yearly wearily climbed back in the yearly mobile and returned to the whore-cave

[Jemble Fred]

where their Dad was waiting with a skillet full of hot prawns. AY, the only whore not to be re-cast, phoned

[TJ]

the first number he could think of. "Hello, Professor Phineas J. Hooberburger's Enchanted Hot Air Balloon Emporium", a voice replied.

[Crazy Penis]

"We know what you're trying to do," said AY, "We know everything. Monkeys without limbs can't climb trees." Before he could

[Almost Yearly]

explain why the fucking humpty he had said that, the voice continued, "This month we have special promotions on maroon balloons,

[Jemble Fred]

dark maroon balloons, light maroon balloons and, just for today, orange juice." Suddenly the line cut dead. PLC wept: "Those monkeys

[Plank]

have no limbs? They'll never get exploited by PG Tips now. I'd offer them my own limbs if it wasn't for

[poison popcorn]

a bunch of monkeys. he hated monkeys. exploitin's too good for them. besides, he'd had his limbs removed years ago in

[Crazy Penis]

China. They were taken by a hippo and were auctioned off to strange looking men, who intended to use them for

[Jemble Fred]

sooth. Even more suddenly than the last thing that happened that was sudden, AY heard a scartching at the garage door.

[Cerys]

"Oh no!" thought AY.  "Don't tell me it's happening again!"  He shuddered in remembrance of those cold, clammy fingers grabbing his

[smoker]

cold clams, and resolved inwardly never to spend new year in bangkok again. looking around the garage, his eyes fell upon

[Jemble Fred]

stony ground, whereas PLC's eyes fell upon good Christian ground, and grew into giant eyes which exploded just as the limbless

[smoker]

spider remained exactly where it was. in rode tracey on sherpa tensing's back crying "holler holler holler, where's me blinging biscuit?"

[Almost Yearly]

Suddenly, nothing happened. Then, it happened again. "Ooh, deja vu pas," squawked Tensing like a leathery faced seagull. "Your biscuits are

[Cerys]

pathetic," it said, and then exploded unexpectedly.  No-one knew why; apart from Tracey, who smugly pocketed the packet of Alka-Seltzer and

[Des Nilsen]

----------plop----never mind

[Almost Yearly]

I think our exploding seagull went in Des's pint again.

[Spaced Cadet]

this time he was angry, he stood up, eyes blazing with torment and rage, fists clenched, through the red mist.....waiting...

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

.... Were they alive, weren't they alive? It was all rather moot really since like all romantic comedies the result was obvious

[Cerys]

to everyone except the floppy-haired type-cast Englishman.  Quite who that was no-one could say, but it sure as hell wasn't AY.

[Crazy Penis]

That's because he had just this minute shaved his whole body in protest of something and was now holding a vibrating