Commando

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's on Channel 4 right now. It's nearly over but me doing this favour for you is a massive act of charity whereby you owe me big time.

The Guardian describe it as 'average action adventure'. Have they ever had their finger further from the pulse of national opinion. Fuck them into a ditch.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You also get to enjoy LET OFF SOME STEAM BENNETT.

[Cohaagen]

This is perhaps a good point to post this masterpiece by a member of the old Commando Fans board, back from when people actually went there.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Can anyone explain why having held a guard by the neck he then proceeds to stick a combat knife through the guy's stab vest?

Because. Just because.


"Leave anything for us John?

Just bodies."

[gmoney]

Who could ever call this film average? It's the peak of ridiculous 80s action films; one-liners to die for, Vernon Wells camping it up like nobodies business, spades of homoerotism, BILL DUKE, some cracking stunts and a bazooka. One of the silliest, most enjoyable films ever made.

Arnie: I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now, I'm very hungry

Woman: I can't believe this macho bullshit...

[Famous Mortimer]

"BUHLSHIT" gave me my biggest laugh of the day (but then again it's only 32 minutes old).

Maybe my favourite film of the 80s, I've seen it 20 times easy and when my flatmate bought it me on blu-ray last Christmas I immediately put it on and waited to open the rest of my presents. It's such a fucking brilliant film, and eminently quotable.

"Let off some steam, Bennett" !!!

[Cohaagen]

...and Out For Justice is on ITV (Scotland) right now. Lord Steven just committed his first cabinetting. Fucking spoiled tonight.

I haven't seen Richie, nor do I know why he did Bobby Lupooooo, before anyone asks.

[thecuriousorange]

Love this bit:

Commando: Matrix Suits Up[/url]

[Gulftastic]

Arnie has never killed with the same degree of casuallity as he does in this. He's snapping necks with a wink and a smile.

Quick question, in the 'I eat Green Berets for brekafast' scene, how hard were the couple next door fucking if they didn't here the noise of the fight next door (which involved gunfire!) until they burst into their room?

[Egyptian Feast]

Arnie has never killed with the same degree of casuallity as he does in this. He's snapping necks with a wink and a smile.

Quick question, in the 'I eat Green Berets for brekafast' scene, how hard were the couple next door fucking if they didn't here the noise of the fight next door (which involved gunfire!) until they burst into their room?

And why is the woman positioned behind the man?

[lipsink]

Commando's so great because it's non-stop pure undiluted Arnie. Sure, Total Recall, Terminator 1 & 2 and Predator are better films but Commando seems like the definitive Arnie movie.

This is great. Particularly the "Arrgghhh!!!" section towards the end (what the fuck is the 'cumming' bit at 6:50 all about?):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDxn0Xfqkgw

[fat handed twat]

Great film! I bought this on blu ray a few months ago and the increased detail enabled me to see that Bennett's 'chainmail' vest is made of wool and looks like something your grandma would knit for you if you were really into Lord of the Rings or something.

[Famous Mortimer]

At the memorabilia fair I went to on Saturday, they had a proper original Commando action figure. If only I'd had money to burn, I'd have snapped it up. 16 inches of John Matrix power.

[ThickAndCreamy]

Commando's so great because it's non-stop pure undiluted Arnie. Sure, Total Recall, Terminator 1 & 2 and Predator are better films but Commando seems like the definitive Arnie movie.

Add Running Man and Kindergarten Cop the best Arnie movies out there. The Running Man is such a brilliantly silly idea for a film that it's perfect for Arnie and utterly, utterly fun. I should get very drunk with friends and watch these one day, I still feel slightly ashamed to have not even seen Commando before, yet just about every other Arnie blockbuster.

[Cohaagen]

Great film! I bought this on blu ray a few months ago and the increased detail enabled me to see that Bennett's 'chainmail' vest is made of wool and looks like something your grandma would knit for you if you were really into Lord of the Rings or something.

It's an old British paratrooper's string vest. You can get them on eBay for about £20. I've got one which forms part of an entire costume, which is one of the reasons why I'll never post in the "What do you actually look like" thread.

[momatt]

I love this film.  Everything about it is ridiculous over-the-top, stupid perfection.

The stand-up Arnab Chanda does a great bit on this.  He points out that at the beginning, Jenny Matrix makes her Dad a sandwich with a mischievous mystery ingredient.
In response to "What's in this?", referring to a sandwich) "You don't wanna know"
Just as it's about to be revealed, all hell breaks loose and bullets fly and the action starts...
And you never find out what's in the damned sandwich!  Ruins the whole film for me now.

Oh and that even though Alyssa Milano is a little girl, you could tell that when she was older, you know...

[Blumf]

Doesn't Raw Deal pip Commando for pure stupid 80s action brilliance.

"Out of my way bitch!" (0:58)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzMbhcl11Oo

Ultimate, pre-fight, gun porn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NhqW4zZ5QA

if you're not hard after watching that then you're... perfectly well balanced, but fuck that shit! GUNS!! fap-fap-fap

[Garfield And Friends]

Without any irony, this is one of my fave films. Arnie's action flicks are supremely enjoyable cartoonish dealios.

[Goldentony]

Excellent film, but left wondering why they didn't show the director's cut instead. I don't know if they're using only HD cources when they show films these days, and being a tithead I don't know if that's even possible to air them on non HD sets or whatever the fuck, BUT ANYWAY - This version was missing A FEW SECONDS of him wasting people in the shed. Better than the old UK version though whichw as always cut to bits.

Have to agree with the TV guide labelling this 'average' as a totally bizarre thing to say. This has to be one of Arnie's greatest along with The Running Man and Total Recall. The plot is slightly more flimsy compared to films based on Phillip K. Dick & Stephen King books, but everything about this movie is just ridiculous OTT one liner after one liner madness. Shit just doesn't stop happpening. Really very entertaining and sums up Arnold Schwarzenegger perfectly. Aforementioned movies are probably his three best non-Terminator movies.

I've never seen Raw Deal however, i'll give it a go but it's got a hard job ahead if it's going to try and outdo Commando for macho bullshit and one liners

[Blumf]

I've never seen Raw Deal however, i'll give it a go but it's got a hard job ahead if it's going to try and outdo Commando for macho bullshit and one liners

Next on the 1^st December, do watch it. I think Commando has better pacing, but RD beats it for pure stupidity.

http://www.itv.com/tvguide/search/?tvgPageNumber=1&tvgSearchPhrase=raw%20deal

[Goldentony]

Excellent news. I wonder what's in the water at terrestrial TV stations lately? You had Tango & Cash & Out For Justice a few days ago, Commando & Kicboxer this week AT THE SAME TIME and now this

[lipsink]

Add Running Man and Kindergarten Cop the best Arnie movies out there. The Running Man is such a brilliantly silly idea for a film that it's perfect for Arnie and utterly, utterly fun. I should get very drunk with friends and watch these one day, I still feel slightly ashamed to have not even seen Commando before, yet just about every other Arnie blockbuster.

True Lies really is up there with his best too. It's his last great film anyway. I remember renting Raw Deal when I was a kid and being particularly bored and unimpressed with it, considering how much I loved all his other stuff. Haven't watched it as an adult though.

[Gulftastic]

I'd like to offer 'Eraser' up as possibly Arnie's last great film. It was a welcome return to old school Arnie. Killing and maiming with daft one-liners, and he didn't have to babysit any fucking kids.

[SavageHedgehog]

I wouldn't say Raw Deal is quite Commando level, but it is unfairly overlooked even among 80s action fans. The Satisfaction scene is classic.

I'd say True Lies is about half-great, the half that isn't the really silly (not good silly) and unpleasant marital strife stuff.

Eraser is pretty good, but avoid the UK "15" version which cuts out a whopping 3.5 minutes

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Eraser and Raw Deal are both better than that one where he plays a Russian, which is a bit lacking in charm.

Anyone who can say I AM AN ERASER with a deadly serious stoneyfaced expression and give you shivers down your spine of excitement deserves more recognition in the film industry.

[Doctor Stamen]

Commando and Running Man are probably my favourites.  I always watch Jingle All The Way when it's on at Christmas too, despite it being a pile of utter shite.

Big fan of Kindergarten Cop though.

Arnie: "I have a terrible headache"
Kid: "It might be a tumor"
Arnie: "EET EEZ NAT A TUMUH!  It's nat a tumuh."

[SavageHedgehog]

The Russian one is Red Heat, which I quite liked. "You know what this is, this is called chicken, but you're not supposed to play it with buses!"

[Blumf]

As a comparison, social-political aware Sylvester Stallone film Cobra is on Five USA right now!

[lipsink]

I like the bit in Red Heat where Arnie's Russian cop arrives in his American motel, switches on the TV and is confronted with porn. He rolls his eyes and says: "Capitalism."

I too never really warmed to that film, thiough it may be because the first time I saw it was an early 90s ITV cut to ribbons version.

I always loved Twins as a kid. It seemed to be the best of his family/comedy films. Conan the Barbarian is pretty good too isn't it?

[Squink]

Arnie: I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now, I'm very hungry

Woman: I can't believe this macho bullshit...

She also says: "These guys ate too much red meat!" Which is one of my favourite lines.