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The Worst Songs.....Ever!!!

Started by El Unicornio, mang, May 21, 2004, 06:08:23 PM

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El Unicornio, mang

VH-1 has compiled the 50 worst songs of all time, and here they are:

50
Sunglasses At Night
Corey Hart  
49
I'll Be Missing You - (featuring 112)
Puff Daddy & The Family  
48
Can I Touch You...There? - (previously unreleased)
Michael Bolton  
47
Something In Common - (with Whitney Houston)
Bobby Brown  
46
Two Princes
Spin Doctors  
45
Sorry 2004
Ruben Studdard  
44
We Didn't Start The Fire
Billy Joel  
43
Make Em Say Uhh #2
Master P  
42
Cotton Eye Joe - (radio version)
Rednex  
41
Some Girls (Dance With Women)
JC Chasez  
40
What's Up
4 Non Blondes  
39
Informer
Snow  
38
Mesmerize - (featuring Ashanti)
Ja Rule  
37
From A Distance
Bette Midler  
36
I Wanna Sex You Up
Color Me Badd  
35
Heartbeat
Don Johnson  
34
Butterfly
Crazy Town  
33
Jenny From The Block - (featuring Jadakiss/Styles)
Jennifer Lopez  
32
Broken Wings
Mr. Mister  
31
You Remind Me Of Something
R. Kelly  
30
Pimp Juice
Nelly  
29
I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Meat Loaf  
28
Never Gonna Give You Up
Rick Astley  
27
Rump Shaker
Wreckx n Effect  
26
Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You, The
Bryan Adams  
25
You Rock My World
Michael Jackson  
24
Sussudio
Phil Collins  
23
Thong Song
Sisqý  
22
Dancing On The Ceiling
Lionel Richie  
21
I'll Be There For You (Theme From "Friends")
The Rembrandts  
20
Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)
Toby Keith  
19
You're The Inspiration
Chicago  
18
Pumps And A Bump
Hammer  
17
I'm Too Sexy
Right Said Fred  
16
Final Countdown, The
Europe  
15
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Crash Test Dummies  
14
Will 2K - (featuring K-Ci)
Will Smith  
13
Barbie Girl
Aqua  
12
Hangin' Tough
New Kids on the Block  
11
Rico Suave
Gerardo  
10
Heart Of Rock & Roll, The
Huey Lewis  
9
Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
Various Artists  
8
She Bangs
Ricky Martin  
7
Party All The Time
Eddie Murphy  
6
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Deep Blue Something  
5
Ice Ice Baby
Vanilla Ice  
4
Rollin' (Urban Assault Vehicle)
Limp Bizkit  
3
Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Wang Chung  
2
Achy Breaky Heart
Billy Ray Cyrus  
1
We Built This City
Starship  


From here: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/50_most_awesomely_bad_songs/series_countdown.jhtml

"Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" is particularly bad, an ode to America being "the best at kicking ass" after 9/11. They showed the video on the VH1 show and it was utterly vile to watch this redneck idiot with his country rock, getting massive cheers and high fives from the American soldiers he was playing to when he sings the "We'll put a boot up their ass!"

Anyway, what do you lot think are the worst songs of all time? I'd have to give a mention to 'The Macarena', why that song became so successful I'll never understand

I have to confess to liking some of the songs in that list, including the number one, which most consider to be a major number two*

*childrens birthday parties, bahmitzvah's, reasonable rates

What the fuck's Dancing On The Ceiling doing on that list?

El Unicornio, mang

The lyrics, for one thing:


Man what in the world is happening down
At the end of the hall?
I don't have a clue?
Let's check this thing out!

What is happening here
Something's going on that's not quite clear
Somebody turn on the lights
We're gonna have a party
It's starting tonight

Chorus:
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling

The room is hot and that's good
Some of my friends came by from the neighborhood
The people startin' a climb the walls
Ooh it looks like everybody is having a ball

Chorus:
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling

Come on!

Everybody start to lose control
When the music is right
If you see somebody hangin' around
Don't get uptight
The only thing we want to do tonight
Is go 'round and 'round
And turn upside down
Come on! Let's get down!

So come on! Let's get loose
Don't hold back
'Cause ain't no use
Hard to keep your feet on the ground
'Cause when we like to party
We only want to get down

Chorus:
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling

(Scream, whistles) Say what?
Can't stop now
Just getting started
Everybody clap your hands
Come on
Everybody let's dance

Chorus:
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
Baby, baby
We gonna dance all night
Till the broad daylight
Keep on movin', keep on groovin'
Oh yeah
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling
(Begin fade)
Oh, what a feeling
When we're dancing on the ceiling...

9

QuoteThe only thing we want to do tonight
Is go 'round and 'round
And turn upside down
Come on! Let's get down!

Yes, its not exactly Dylan is it?

That's a pretty good list actually. Its pretty painful just reading it.

Goldentony

what the FUCK is informer by snow doing there

TJ

Easy targets. The real worst songs ever are surely bland in-one-ear-and-out-of-the-other efforts that have had no energy or artistry put into them.


And I quite like 'We Built This City'. If nothing else, it's a protest song (about state laws attempting to limit the amount of broadcast and performance music - said laws were later rejected, so VH1 actually have a lot to thank Starship for).

Peking O

Seeing Two Princes by The Spin Doctors on the list reminds me of going to Glastonbury and walking past in horror as they straddled some stage or other. If the long manky ginger beard and tight black leggings of the (male) singer weren't bad enough, the jester hat-clad buffoons who were 'dancing' (I use the term in the loosest possible sense) to them certainly were. I adjusted my impeccable suit and moved swiftly along.

I heard the new Morrissey album the other day and it whistled straight in one ear and out the other. Can't remember a thing about it in fact.

Jet Set Willy

Loads of those songs are great!

Thong song for example, and I won't hear a word said against Billy Joel.

Most of those songs are just there for being annoying.

El Unicornio, mang

Yeah, watching the program, it seemed to me that they'd chosen them based on songs which were really popular and catchy but had dodgy lyrics/cheesy videos. The arguments against some of the records were really scraping the barrell: " 'Mmm mmm mmm' is a crap song because there's no words in the chorus....it's a chorus, sing LOL NO words!!11" or "'The Final Countdown'....it's about space travel and it's not Bowie, therefore it sucks!!1"
I mean, 'I'm Too Sexy' gets a lot of stick, but it's a great comedy record, always makes me smile when I hear it. They were saying it was shit because they found themselves saying 'I'm too sexy for my....' about everything. Well don't then!

Some of the songs on there actually have good tunes, there's no way you could say it's 'bad music'. As you say, bad music would be something bland and unlistenable, like a copper kettle being hit with a spoon for five minutes with someone playing Am on an an out of tune guitar.......although I'd have to choose that over 'Achy Breaky Heart', I must say

glitch

That's a crap list. Way too many easy shots.

And it's missing: Star Trekkin' - The Firm, and Safety Dance - Men Without Hats

Which are horrible abominations of music, just thinking about them can get the jingles caught in your head for the next 6 Ice Ages.

morgs

It is from Blender magazine - an American music mag from the makers of Maxim.  You can pick it up at most HMVs etc etc.  It has comments explaining each choice, though I do feel some are unfair too.

However,  The Birdie Song, Star Trekkin' and The Umpire Strikes Back didn't have much of an impact in the States I suspect!  If you want me to type out any of the comments about any of the 50 then I might get around to it if you ask nicely!

Doctor Stamen

Oh, 'Loveshack'  - The B52s, no fuckin' contest.

Makes my blood boil.

falafel

Quote from: "The Firm"It's worse than that.
He's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that.
He's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead.

Star Trekking
Across the
Universe
On the starship enterprise, under
Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking
Across the universe,
Boldly going...
Forward...
'Cause we can't find
Reverse.

How can you deny the poetry of those lines?

morgs

"Arthur Daley, e's alright " was a lot worse that's for sure


morgs

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Oh my god!

EDIT : "I am Locutus of Borg..." my eyes are pouring with tears of laughter and my ears are bleeding

dan dirty ape

Any list that doesn't feature 'Mr. Writer' by the Stereophonics is a mockery, I tells ya. No sign of Dido either.  These are your true evil, not Billy Joel listing cultural events year by year while his piano's on fire.

Dirty Boy

Wot, no Funky Gibbon??!!??

Edit: found a strange story about the song, with Bill Oddie claiming the sound was influenced by Sly Stone and Miles Davis *baffled.gif*

http://www.loadofold.com/boots/funky_gibbon.html

Brainwrong

I hate Craig David
And here are some lyrical reasons.... prick.


What's Your Fava? Lyrics



What's your flava
Tell me what's your flava (x4)
I met this black girl in a club
Went by the name of pecan deluxe
This ice cream was high maintenance
When I took her out,
Man it cost me 20 bucks
Met this chick named walnut whip
Nearly made me sick to the point of throwing up
So I called chocolate chip
Wit the sweet toffee crisp
And I still cant get enough
Your what I want
Your what I need
I wanna taste ya (taste ya) take ya home wit me
You look so good
Good enough to eat
I wonder if I can peel your wrapper
I can be your fantasy

What's your flava
Tell me whats your flava (x4)

I take 'em in the middle of July
With tha drop top down in the park
When it's summerin'
These ice creams lookin so fly
That I just cant lie
It all seems too bewildering
They got these grown men,
running round..
screaming out..
acting worse than children..
but who flow..
better know..
better stack cheddar..
get more tones..
better than this ice-cream
veteran


Hey, I'm taking em, apple and cinnamon
Girls I'm feeling em can't stop licking em
That's why they got me dribbling
Hot fudge sauce and it's all over my Timberlands
I take them caramel with a hint of vanilla
Wit a little chocolate sprinkling
They make me spend my dividends
These sweet things make me feel like a kid again

mangoliver

Quote from: "Doctor Stamen"Oh, 'Loveshack'  - The B52s, no fuckin' contest.

Makes my blood boil.

Rubbish, I love that song, great pop record.

The list seems jammed with novelty records, which are never as bad as hideous MOR, bland rubbish.

morgs

My biggest bugbear remain shite cover versions.  Blue should be shot through the knees for Signed, Sealed, Delivered for example.  I have to agree that any Celine Dion should be in top 50, particularly that Titanic shit.  Any AOR/MOR bollocks can go in too

thomasina

Lucky Starsby Dean Friedman, late 70's.  It's impossible to listen to without puking.  And something called the Pina Colada song from about the same time or not long after.

You Rock my World should not be on that list, it's fabulous.  Bad should be.

morgs

Quote from: "thomasina"Lucky Starsby Dean Friedman, late 70's.  

Well you can thank your lucky stars that you're not the bastard son of Dean Friedman.  (Thanks to Half Man Half Biscuit for that)

Vermschneid Mehearties

QuoteIt's worse than that.
He's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that.
He's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead.

I'm sitting in a pool of my own tears. It's much funnier reading it than listening to it though. I'm going to use that more often in conversation. It's worse than that. He's dead, Jim. [/quote]

SnapperOrgans

How could you not like 'don't worry be happy' by Bobby McFerrin? Even if you dont like it that much theres surely worse tunes than that happy little tune...

The worst tune ever is 'total eclipse of the heart' by Bonnie Tyler

turn around.......

Marcus Or Relius

Quote
11 Rico Suave, Gerardo  

Christ, I remember hearing that shit years ago on MTV and it went through my head for a month, it's fucking horrendous. The video was the poncey fuckwhit 'singer' just saying "Rico....Suave" whilst rubbing his skintight-jeans-clad legs or something, with lots of frizzy haired women staring admiringly at him. The cunt.

It was on Beavis & Butthead once and was naturally subjected to much ridicule.

A Passing Turk Slipper

The worst song I've ever heard is 'I can make you feel good' by Kavana. I don't know why but it has been stuck in my memory since it was released and is genuinely the most terrible sound my ears have ever been subjected to.