Author Topic: Shampoo  (Read 1255 times)

Shampoo
« on: February 07, 2004, 11:25:22 AM »
No, not the erstwhile duo from some years ago who sang "Uh oh, we're in trouble..."

I mean the stuff you shove on your head. Is it me, or have shampoo manufacturers completely lost the plot now? I mean they were never that sane in the first place, but dear lord, these days it's insane.

All the completely bogus made up words... "Now contains supermonkeyjismoboa"

And the fruit... Dear god, the fruits... I think the other day I heard an ad for shampoo that had "fructicin" in it. You know it's bad when you see a shampoo commercial, and it shows so much fruit you think it's advertising yoghurt. Am I washing my hair, or buying a fruit salad?

fum

Shampoo
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2004, 04:19:25 PM »
scary thing is that the chemical they use in some shampoos to make it foamy is carsinogenic in large quantities. or so I heard

i know i can't spell

Shampoo
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2004, 04:22:51 PM »
My girlfriend has branded the Lush mantra into me.  Go and buy their shampoo bars. Very good and last ages and not likely to give you head cancer (probably).

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Shampoo
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2004, 04:26:14 PM »
I haven't used shampoo or conditioner in 2 months now. I know what you're thinking - but I have the loveliest, thickest, shinest hair - no grease, no dandruff - nothing. I can't understand it. I didn't even go greasy in the first place. I stopped using it to combat fluffiness after towel drying. Didn't do much good though. Obviously it gets a showering in the morning, but still, nothing goes into it.

The rest of me is very, very clean though, I take a lot of care of that.

How you doin', ladies?

Shampoo
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2004, 04:37:22 PM »
Quote from: "Frinky"
I haven't used shampoo or conditioner in 2 months now. I know what you're thinking - but I have the loveliest, thickest, shinest hair - no grease, no dandruff - nothing. I can't understand it. I didn't even go greasy in the first place. I stopped using it to combat fluffiness after towel drying. Didn't do much good though. Obviously it gets a showering in the morning, but still, nothing goes into it.

The rest of me is very, very clean though, I take a lot of care of that.

How you doin', ladies?


I had dreads for about a month when I was all young and funky but the pain of not feeling lovely squeaky hair made me rip them out very quickly.  Ow.  It hurt a lot.

Shampoo
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2004, 04:39:24 PM »
it might be low flying but it's still showing up on the gaydar 'am I washing my hair or buying a fruit salad'?

Quote
°87 per cent of men believe that cosmetics give them more 'pulling power' than flash cars;
°An overwhelming 95 per cent of men think that grooming products can seriously improve their appearance and life;
°82 per cent have tried anti-ageing moisturisers, 67 per cent use an exfoliator and 65 per cent smooth hands with hand cream;
°Six out of ten men feel that wearing an eye cream is a wise precaution;
°48 per cent of men like to have a healthy glow and use self-tanning lotions;
°Men spend an average of £576 a year on grooming products, double the amount three years ago;
°32 per cent of men spend more on grooming products than their female partner;
°12 per cent enjoy a regular facial and six out of ten men would love a complete makeover;
°It takes an average man 34 minutes to get ready for work and 55 minutes when going out socially.

FHM/Nivea 2002


All this feminising of men bollocks is right getting on my flabby tits, a couple of hetro males at work have hand cream on their desks, but it is the super masculine one that Norwegian fishermen have been using for years, because typing on a keyboard all day is the same as hauling heavy nets about in cruel skin splitting temperatures, I mean to say, if I was a bird that would right turn me off.

and these shampoos, head and shoulders for men, fancy perfumed crap for women

in fact I'd like to see a product appear called 'Ape' and it would be sold in strengths based on how hirsute ones flesh suit was.



remember this, clever attempt to get men to acknowledge their mortality?



so in closing, you are all gay!!!!1

Shampoo
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2004, 04:44:13 PM »
Quote from: "splattermac"
so in closing, you are all gay!!!!1


Thanks, Colonel Hetero.

T

Shampoo
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2004, 04:46:45 PM »
stop teasing and give us a kiss

Shampoo
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2004, 04:48:45 PM »
Quote from: "splattermac"
stop teasing and give us a kiss


B.U.R.M.A.

(and there's another acronym to do with a British city but it's slipped my mind now)

Shampoo
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2004, 05:04:56 PM »
Quote from: "splattermac"

°82 per cent have tried anti-ageing moisturisers, 67 per cent use an exfoliator and 65 per cent smooth hands with hand cream;


Where are these men? No one I know has used anti-ageing things - at least not openly. And certainly not anyone I've lived with.

It's all properganda to make men feel they must spend as much as women on this shit. And women - you look great without make-up. You don't need it, well most of you don't.

They're all bastards making money out of our insecurities.

And a friend of mine has a theory that shaving (s)cream has stuff in it to make your stubble grow back quicker. And I think he might be right,

Shampoo
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2004, 05:15:20 PM »
Is it alright to use moisturiser (sp? face cream anyway) when your face has gone really flaky & there's bits of skin just flapping off all over the place.  I was using face cream (moostrueiser) for about two weeks while this happened.  Is that ok?  Or am I gay now?  I did hate myself for using.  grrr. I'm a man, dammit.  Although it was jolly smooth & creamy on the skin.

Shampoo
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2004, 05:18:51 PM »
Quote from: "mwude"
Is it alright to use moisturiser (sp? face cream anyway) when your face has gone really flaky & there's bits of skin just flapping off all over the place.  I was using face cream (moostrueiser) for about two weeks while this happened.  Is that ok?  Or am I gay now?  I did hate myself for using.  grrr. I'm a man, dammit.  Although it was jolly smooth & creamy on the skin.


Yeah, maybe if your face goes all fucky. You can pretend it's medicine. But every day? No one's face is that dry - unless you're an alcoholic.

Shampoo
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2004, 06:21:42 PM »
Men don't need special 'boy' moisturisers anyway.  If your skin goes fucky fucky, a 'girl' moisturiser will do just as well.  Neither do they need special products when they dye their hair.  It's called 'just for Men'  so they can pretend its not really hair dye.  Well it is.  And you can ALWAYS tell, so thye might just as well use Nice'n'easy next time.

And women don't need pink disposable razors either.

Shampoo
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2004, 06:34:53 PM »
Or you could just use left-over aftersun like what I do when my face feels all dry.

Shampoo
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2004, 06:52:25 PM »
Doesn’t just for men have some ingredient in it that can sterilize women?

I'm sure I heard it carries a health warning that it is in fact, just for men.

I know what you are thinking, swap the bottles and labels and its no chance CSA.

I haven’t heard the shampoo cancer scare but I've heard the hair dye cancer one.

Lt Plonker

  • Never forget.
    • Graymation
Shampoo
« Reply #15 on: February 07, 2004, 06:56:48 PM »
My face gets all flaky during the winter too, so I have to slap on some cream to make me look like I'm not the living dead. My hands, on the otherhand...



Smooth as, ladies, smooth as.

TraceyQ

  • For a while now... Aaaaaaah...
Shampoo
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2004, 07:19:11 PM »
Splattermac, you're a God Damn liar. When I met you you smelt as fresh as a daisy.

I don't see who it's considered gay or even metrosexual to look after your skin if you're a feller. Your face is your fortune and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Women are impressed if a man looks after himself (well, maybe not to the point of highlights with a cap and weekly manicures) and, let's face it, you look a bit more tasty and smell a bit snugglable, you'll get a bit more of the boingy-boingy action. We dont mind you having a bit of stubble, or even facial hair, but last night's chicken chow mein in the 'tashe is a no-no. If you're skin is starting to flake and you dont like moisturiser (it would sting like buggery if your skin is that dry anyway) Elizabeth Arden do an 8 hour cream that smells non girly, goes a long way and does wonders.

Me, I've moisturised every day since age 13 and I think if I gave up my face would cave in. But of course, I'm supposed to.

Shampoo
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2004, 07:40:54 AM »
Quote from: "twatloops"
My girlfriend has branded the Lush mantra into me.  Go and buy their shampoo bars. Very good and last ages and not likely to give you head cancer (probably).


If we got them over here I'd try them, but we don't.

I still think it's extraordinarily sad when I see a commercial that looks like an add for yoghurt/juice/fruit bars and it turns out to be shampoo.

I can only imagine the juice companies will soon start advertising their products by saying how many caustic chemicals are in them...

Shampoo
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2004, 07:58:54 AM »
Quote from: "twatloops"

B.U.R.M.A.

(and there's another acronym to do with a British city but it's slipped my mind now)


N.O.R.W.I.C.H is "Knickers off, ready when I come home".  Was that the one?

Shampoo
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2004, 08:14:29 AM »
It's really worrying when you see an advert portraying a bottle being upturned and thick yellow gunk oozing out of it...and only when some kid starts drinking the sludge do you realize it's not shampoo but Sunny Delight.

Shampoo
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2004, 02:19:20 PM »
Quote from: "Qatar-wol"
Quote from: "twatloops"

B.U.R.M.A.

(and there's another acronym to do with a British city but it's slipped my mind now)


N.O.R.W.I.C.H is "Knickers off, ready when I come home".  Was that the one?


Bingo.