Withnail and I

[Nelson Swillie]

Am I the only one who thought this was a tedious bag of wank aimed at students who think it's funny to live in squalor and 'lads' who think the relentless focus on substance abuse and alcohol intake is somehow entertaining?
I bet Pete Doherty can recite this crap verbatim.

[Emma Raducanu]

Yes

[Crabwalk]

You must fucking despise The Young Ones.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's not funny to live in squalor, but funny to watch people living in squalor. However, it's funny that you choose to focus on that because the squalor is the least dwelled on, least interesting aspect of the film. It just tees up the plot, the characters for some great lines, and then pretty soon off they go.

Richard Griffiths is great, nearly every line of his feels pruned and honed to perfection.

The film never spoonfeeds you either. The interplay between the two protagonists is endlessly interesting to pontificate on.

I certainly regard it as one of the best British films, not simply of comedy. The only thing I don't really like is the repetitive soundtrack but that similarly doesn't stop The Graduate or The Edukators, or Platoon being superb films.

An electric opening 25 minutes, superb performances allround, an unbelievably shit-hot script, and plenty to think about along the way. Yeah, what a sucktard of a film that is, eh...

[Lfbarfe]

I think it's a wonderful, shabby, moving, funny film and I do feel slight pity for anyone who can't enjoy it. I think what makes it irritating for some is its quotability and the tendency of some to recite large stretches of it verbatim, but Monty Python has that too. It tends to have an effect on people. For all it's hideousness, it's an incredibly warm film, and it takes you in. Also, it wasn't a big success on initial release. It became a slow-burning cult. A friend in the sixth form said to me "You must see this" as he popped a tape into the VCR, and to this day he's no drug fiend. So, people have grown up feeling almost part of a secret society. I find myself using tiny fragments of dialogue from it on an almost daily basis. If something irritates me, it takes a lot of self-restraint not to say "It must die, IT MUST DIE". If I'm in a quagmire, it can only be described as "beastly mud and oomska". Aldi's £2.99 Merlot, which I enjoy every night, is one of "the finest wines known to humanity".

That level of substance and alcohol abuse can be entertaining. A friend of mine who stared into the abyss of smack addiction (among other interesting habits) and stepped back from it is full of fantastic, rueful tales of his mad consumption and its effect. He's glad to be clean, he knows how lucky he is to have survived and he never romanticises any of it, but he has had me doubled over with laughter at some of his stories. It's when you regard Withnail and I as a manual for life that the trouble starts.

[Nelson Swillie]

Brilliant. I've just lost all faith in humanity. Thanks a lot you cunts.

[Famous Mortimer]

Yes

Yes

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Brilliant. I've just lost all faith in humanity. Thanks a lot you cunts.

Oh don't shit your adult nappy.

...anyway, I was coming back in here to mention the performances more. Once you get to the stage where a line as superficially mundane as "We're coming back in here" becomes one of the most quintessentially amusing things about a film full of flamboyant use of language, it's a pretty sure bet you're making a classic.

THE PERFORMANCES FOR GOD'S SAKE

[El Unicornio, mang]

It's the best, and funniest, British film ever made

*runs away*

[Johnny Townmouse]

If I formed my opinions of films based on the reaction from a section of society that I already hate/feel jealousy towards, then I would find most films to be a bag of wank.

But I don't, and I don't.

Wonderful, brave and perfectly crafted film. What happens when art is not designed by committee, or attempts to pander (in contrast to your central problem with the film).

[Nelson Swillie]

Great, knowing you lot of permanently po-faced self-loathing lentil-eating Guardian readers love it reassures me that my tastes are as finely tuned as ever.

If there were more than a handful of people here who liked the Goodies or the Who I'd never watch or listen to them again. C&B is handy as a taste barometer - if people here are raving about something, then that's always a sure sign that it's total mince that'll have me screaming at the telly in bitter fucking fury.

[jutl]

I do think it's massively overrated, but it's enjoyable enough.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Great, knowing you lot of permanently po-faced self-loathing lentil-eating Guardian readers love it reassures me that my tastes are as finely tuned as ever.

Quite right. But why do you keep forgetting? And we do we keep having to remind you?

And it's you being the po-faced one and us doing the pissing-ourselves-laughing-at-funny-comedy.

[Johnny Townmouse]

C&B is handy as a taste barometer - if people here are raving about something, then that's always a sure sign that it's total mince that'll have me screaming at the telly in bitter fucking fury.

Cabbers seemed to love your sub-Crumb cartoon strips. I see your point.

[Nelson Swillie]

Oh, fuck off. This film is the Emperor's New Clothes. Destined to be a student cult until the world stops turning.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What, you mean people who graduate end up getting older and become middle-aged and still love it? I never thought about that.

[chocky909]

Why did you come back Nelson? Please go away forever.

[Nelson Swillie]

Don't people get pissed off when you confront them with the truth? It's frightening.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You: Don't people get pissed off when you confront them with the truth?

You minutes earlier: Oh, fuck off. This film is the Emperor's New Clothes

Your lack of self-awareness is breathtaking.

[Johnny Townmouse]

Don't people get pissed off when you confront them with the truth? It's frightening.

Cabbers seemed to love your sub-Crumb cartoon strips. I see your point.

Oh, fuck off...

[Nelson Swillie]

At least I take the time out to create something, whereas most of you twats seem to think sitting on your purulent arses typing your high-faluting opinions on absolute wank films and comedies that couldn't make a hyena laugh somehow validates your existence.

"Yah, Withnail and I, brilliant film..." Sod off. Get out of jail free card for any cunt to win instant kudos among his slightly more knowledgeable new-found internet / college chums more like.

And at least I've never trolled people all over the internet, spreading rumours about them being paedophiles or accusing them of "threatening to roll me up in a carpet and boot me" unlike SOME of the people on here. At least I can look myself in the mirror of a morning without the gnawing guilt of knowing that I helped prolong the worthless careers of David Baddiel and Vic Reeves.

The biggest joke about Cook'd and Bomb'd is that you all think you're above the common herd, simply because you like a different kind of crap.

[Johnny Townmouse]

whereas most of you twats seem to think sitting on your purulent arses typing your high-faluting opinions on absolute wank films and comedies that couldn't make a hyena laugh somehow validates your existence.

LOL.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Get out of jail free card for any cunt to win instant kudos among his slightly more knowledgeable new-found internet / college chums more like.

I really can't stand much more of your vile all-pervasive hatred. Please spare me your utterly corrosive personality for good. All you do is just corrode, reduce, hate hate hate hate hate. I can't see why anyone wants anything to do with you. You are a truly horrible, nasty human being I want nothing at all to do with. If you're anything like this in real life you will die, cold, alone and unloved. And that's if you manage to avoid someone ending it beforehand. They'd be doing you a favour you rotten, toxic person.

[Crabwalk]

Holy shit, are you OK Mr Swillie?

[Goldentony]

Swillie's right, you cannot be trusted!! you cunts fucking tore MEET DAVE to shreds when it came out, when any well minded comedy fan would have fucking LOVED it if they had half a brain. I suggest you arseholes give MEET DAVEanother go, and if you still hate it then you're obviously beyond help.

[Famous Mortimer]

[Nelson Swillie]

It's the best, and funniest, British film ever made

*runs away*

Oh fucking really? Right. Never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian or even the Meaning of Life then?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKcApI6uiSY

More genuine wit, warmth, invention and humour in ten minutes than Withnail and I manages to pull out of its scabby reeking luvvie arse in however fucking long it's on for. And this isn't even from a film - it's from a low budget BBC comedy show made in 1975.

If you're anything like this in real life you will die, cold, alone and unloved. And that's if you manage to avoid someone ending it beforehand. They'd be doing you a favour you rotten, toxic person.

Are you the daft sod who trolled me over to YouTube, claiming I threatened to roll you up in a carpet and boot me?

As for dying alone and unloved, I fucking doubt it. Just because I lack a warm "everything's great" personality and don't fart sunbeams, doesn't mean I'm not loved. Quite the opposite.

[Nelson Swillie]

Wow, THAT'S funny.

No wonder you're a Withnail and I fan, if that's your idea of humour then this film must be like striking fucking gold.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Oh fucking really? Right. Never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian or even the Meaning of Life then?

Yes I've seen them all, love them all. Still like Withnail more.

[chocky909]

Nelson, why do you continue to address everyone like we are all one person? We do not represent each other on the forum and we do not all think alike no matter what you say. I'm sure there are plenty of people here that might echo your dislike of Withnail but you've already decided that the whole forum is against you and that we are unthinking trendy indie sheep. Do we really have to listen this shit again?