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The love of my life just died

Started by HappyTree, January 27, 2011, 05:59:35 PM

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mycroft

My condolences to you, HT. Truly heartbreaking stuff. Do try to stay strong.

Harpo Speaks



dr beat

I'd like to join the other folk here and express my deepest condolences and hugs HT.  My thoughts are with you right now.

weekender

In Tony Hawks's book 'Playing The Moldovans At Tennis', it is explained that some of the former USSR countries are so poor that the government has to turn off the street lights at night to save money, thus leading to a situation whereby man-holes/wells etc are left uncovered in the dark.

So, as has been mentioned, please don't blame yourself HT.

Unfortunately, this was a tragic accident and I also offer my condolences.

I meant man-holes and not pot-holes, I am sorry.

CaledonianGonzo

Quote from: weekender on January 27, 2011, 09:17:14 PM
In Tony Hawks's book 'Playing The Moldovans At Tennis', it is explained that some of the former USSR countries are so poor that the government has to turn off the street lights at night to save money, thus leading to a situation whereby pot-holes/wells etc are left uncovered in the dark.

Exacerbating that, the manhole covers are often stolen and sold for scrap.  Frequently happens in places like Ukraine and Belarus, I believe.

tisonlyme

I'll have you in my thoughts Happy Tree. That is a truely awful thing to have happened. You have my deepest sympathy

Mister Six


Glebe

Shocked and saddened to hear about this HT... just want to add my deepest condolences. Hope you're coping as best you can, you're in everyone's thoughts right now.

falafel


Retinend

That was heartbreaking to read. I hope she will still be a source of happy memories for you, and I hope that will help you through.

Ginyard

So sorry to read this, HT. She was far too young to leave life so soon.

23 Daves

I'm really sorry to hear this, HT, and would like to offer my condolences. 

HappyTree

I think the explanation was that the cover had indeed been stolen. It was a well 4m deep with 2.5m of freezing cold water. I will learn more in the next few days. I spent some time with her friends this evening and she had said I was the most important person in her life. I had already told her she was the most important in mine.

I feel very proud of how I looked after her all these years. And I will tell her family, if they let me, that they should be very proud of the way she looked after me. It was the most rewarding and mutually beneficial relationship/friendship you could ever imagine, and I had it for real. Imagine in your minds the pinnacle of perfection in an emotionally healthy bond with someone. That's what we had. And I'm very grateful that I knew it whilst it was happening and not only now.

I will probably have some bad reactions to this, but what this has not done is sour me to the act of giving love. That was what it was all about, just a pure, selfless giving. From both of us. I will take that forward and be even more annoying about telling other people they should focus on what is really important in life, heh.

If you click on the icon beside my name you'll end up on my MySpace page. There you will hear the song I wrote and recorded for her 18th birthday. It describes how I feel, how we met and what she meant to me. I basically had dedicated my life to being there for her and that is the best use of my life I could possibly imagine. No regrets there, she knew she was loved and in the beautiful way she always dreamed of.

I am simply the luckiest person alive for having known her and been allowed into her life. I don't think I'll go under, she was far too inspiring for that. She changed me in a permanent way and I will show her just what that influence can bring.

Thanks for your PMs. I will reply to them afterwards when I feel I can say something suitable individually. I'm going to do something special with the influence she had on my life. I don't know what yet but she'll be in there whatever it is.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I'm sure she felt blessed to have someone who cared so much about her, HappyTree. You're a smashing guy and I hope sometime in the future you'll be able to allow yourself to care again about someone else. For the time being though take care of yourself, and keep talking.

xx

rudi

Christ on a bike. So sorry to read that, HT.

Custard

Really really terrible to read this. There truly is no words, but I enjoy your input on here HappyTree, you come across as a very nice fella. You should feel incredibly proud of how you treated her in your time together. Small comfort at the moment, but it sounds like she loved you a huge deal too. Condolences.

Sony Walkman Prophecies

Like shoulders i kind of feel like I knew your sig other through your posts, so its horrible news to hear what happened. And for what its worth i appreciate your posts on here too and from everything ive read you sound like a decent bloke who always did the right thing by your friend. Hang in there mate<3

TIAL

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I have no words because I can't pretend to have suffered such a loss, but my deepest, deepest condolences mate.

HappyTree

Yes, well I have also been a bit of an arse lately, before Christmas. Just getting pulled down by "stuff" and not living up to the ideals I set for myself. And then projecting that at other people and getting in a silly mess.

What changed me from that and let me see what I was doing was showing Diana the "flame thread". We had a big talk about that and she expertly pointed me in the right direction, as she has been doing for the last 8 years. Yes, even at the age of 14 she was just as good at it. She pointed out the dynamics of that exchange and without judgement showed me where I was going wrong. You know what the issue was? I was scared of going back home to see my mum who has dementia. She gently drew it all out of me with her caring, feather-light touch.

Her light will be missed. Yet I still carry it within me.

Lfbarfe



Twibbie

I only saw "The Love of my Life" on the link from the main forum front page and assumed it was some typical VerbWhores amusing relationships thread. Gutted to read about your loss, Happy Tree.

There's nothing to blame yourself for, I get the impression you know that. At the same time, feeling inadequate or like you haven't done enough or like you could somehow have stopped it - it's not rational; but sometimes our feelings aren't rational, but they're no less real. They're not "wrong" feelings; but if there's hope in the world they'll change in time. The important thing is to give yourself time. You can dwell on the tragedy - which is normal and entirely understandable - but in time you can remember the connection you had with her and the times you spent together. It won't bring her back, but isn't that how most people would like to be remembered? For the difference they made to other people? If she made such a huge difference to you then her life should be celebrated, even if it's been cruelly curtailed.

Try to stay strong kiddo. Don't worry about being an "arse" for fuck's sake. We're all an arse sometimes when things aren't quite right. Think of the privilege of sharing your life with someone you had such a connection with and value that above the loss you're feeling right now - after all, you might never have met someone like that at all.

Don't be ashamed of feeling like walking around with your head down - just remember that your chin will stay up. For all the shit out there, life is full of great people. You knew one, you've lost her, but you could mean every bit as much to someone right around the corner and you don't even know it yet.

x

HappyTree

Good words. I always believed in something, someone pure. I found it. It exists. I am very honoured.

Johnny Yesno

That's terrible news, HappyTree. Sincere condolences.

jutl


Lady Beaner

I am so sorry to hear this, HT. I am glad that you've been able to experience such an amazing love though. I hope you have all the love and support possible right now x

Johnny Townmouse

Dreadful news - what a stupid and pointless death, the person who stole the cover probably has no idea of the repercussions of their actions.

It is wonderful that you are able to get so much comfort from having someone in your life so special, but bear in mind that there will be dark times over the next few weeks/months/years when that will not be enough. Stay strong, seek help.

Chutney

Don't know you, HT, don't even spend enough time on here to have built up some inaccurate perception of you via an online persona, but you have my thoughts and condolences.

Lost my dad last year, and am still struggling to get my head around how well I'm handling it - can't imagine it's the same for you, but one day it might be.  Anyway, no more speculation from me as it's ill informed, just good wishes.

HappyTree

Please, share your thoughts. You won't offend me by saying something not quite right. I lost my Dad 11 years ago, she was instrumental in helping me with that. That she gave so much of her time to supporting me was testament to her always giving nature. And she needed my support too. It was the most rewarding connection, two people holding each other up with no demands or conditions. Everything I always dreamed a connection could be. We gave each other the ideal in what we could imagine human sharing was all about. It actually exists if both people want it and find a way to trust each other completely. That was my message before and will always continue to be my message.