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Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories

Started by Jumble Cashback, February 03, 2011, 08:08:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Jumble Cashback

Just spotted the headline 'GOOGLE EYES APPLE IN TABLET WAR' on the BBC's website.  Imagine waking up from a 30 year coma and seeing that in the morning paper.  Anyone else seen any headlines that could lunge happily out of CM's newsmouth?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Retweet maiself? OH YAEAH

Quote
'rapist wins junk food ban case' 'frozen egg mother abused online'. are these real, beeb?

Both existing modern BBC news headlines.

chand

The Mail's "Parkinson's medication turned me into gambling gay sex thief, says 51-year-old married father" from yesterday was impressive.



actwithoutwords



Marty McFly

A couple from Norfolk newspapers this week:

"Stiletto Attack in Nightclub"
"Woman hurt by exploding Washing Machine"

Mister Six

Quote from: Marty McFly on February 04, 2011, 12:59:07 AM
A couple from Norfolk newspapers this week:

"Stiletto Attack in Nightclub"
"Woman hurt by exploding Washing Machine"

Dunno, they sound a bit mundane to me. "Woman hurt by exploding washing" might be more impressive.


El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: Mister Six on February 04, 2011, 01:06:02 AM
Dunno, they sound a bit mundane to me. "Woman hurt by exploding washing" might be more impressive.

Or: "washing machine hurt by exploding woman"


Zero Gravitas

It's already been in the tags but what the hell, it's a tradition!



I still have warm memories of that spate of dog electrocutions in 2007

Second dog electrocuted by lamppost
Mastiff 'shot five feet in the air'

http://www.thecnj.com/camden/022207/news022207_16.html

Small Man Big Horse





Alas I cropped the headline, but the story's a good one.


Shoulders?-Stomach!




Depressed Beyond Tables



Santa's Boyfriend


biggytitbo

This wins:
German throws puppy at Hells Angels then flees on bulldozer

Jemble Fred

This really doesn't belong here, but I can't find our last 'weird news' thread. http://www.kcra.com/r/26722035/detail.html

Quote"Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest.

Jumble Cashback

Just seen another good one on the BBC website: CHERNOBYL BIRDS ARE SMALL BRAINED.

momatt

This is as good a place as any to write this - On last night's News Night they included a clip of The Day Today in the opening few minutes.  It was the patriotic bit they show in emergencies after John Major and the Queen have a fight, including a policeman smoking a spliff etc.
Just thought it was a bit odd, as so much of Morris's character is based on Paxman in the first place, didn't quite fit either.




Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteUK buttock injection woman dies

It might be slightly insensitive to post that but the BBC seem to want to wring out the weirdness for all it's worth, because it's The Sun, apparently.

sirhenry

Boy killed in giant snowman horror.
Still my favourite headline. It's the extra 'horror' for no reason that makes it.