Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories  (Read 45955 times)

WesterlyWinds

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #120 on: October 02, 2012, 03:06:43 PM »

QDRPHNC

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #121 on: October 02, 2012, 07:52:53 PM »
OK, I think I've calmed down enough to post this now. The combination of the story itself, the photograph of the two men looking sad, and a couple of the nastier comments (speficially, DB from Norfolk), had me choking with laughter.

"Diners branded 'pigs' by owner of Mongolian all-you-can-eat restaurant and banned for life 'because other diners didn't get a look-in'"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2211766/Hungry-diners-given-life-ban-eat-restaurant-dont-look-in.html

I don't know.

biggytitbo

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #122 on: October 02, 2012, 08:03:37 PM »
OK, I think I've calmed down enough to post this now. The combination of the story itself, the photograph of the two men looking sad, and a couple of the nastier comments (speficially, DB from Norfolk), had me choking with laughter.

"Diners branded 'pigs' by owner of Mongolian all-you-can-eat restaurant and banned for life 'because other diners didn't get a look-in'"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2211766/Hungry-diners-given-life-ban-eat-restaurant-dont-look-in.html

I don't know.
I feel very sorry for the man on the left. His face is far too small for his head and no amount of pig outs at Chinese resteraunts will cure that.

biggytitbo

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #123 on: October 02, 2012, 08:06:43 PM »
Man eaten by own pigs.

http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/world-news/farmer-is-eaten-by-his-own-pigs-3248107.html

The piggy featured looks like he wouldnt eat a fly.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #124 on: October 02, 2012, 08:12:09 PM »
Man eaten by own pigs.

http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/world-news/farmer-is-eaten-by-his-own-pigs-3248107.html

The piggy featured looks like he wouldnt eat a fly.


There is a whole thread on this for your delectation, Biggy

QDRPHNC

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #125 on: October 02, 2012, 08:12:34 PM »
I found this comment from one of the diners, the man on the right, on a local newspaper site (The Argus? Never heard of it). Now I don't know what to think:

Hello there , I'm George, one of the guys what got told never to come back to the eat as much as you
 like at gobe in brighton! Last week!.. now I have been looking at some of the comments and some of you just don't get it at all!, it's not about being greedy at all and we was not, the bows are very small so u can only get just a mouth full into them any way!, the point is it says eat as much as u like, me and my friend like to try things on the menu as it says you can make up any thing you wish to try, so like lots of others that's what we do!. We are not pigs at all and we was not trying to eat every thing! On the menu ,and we have payed a tip b4 , it's just a few times we have been in there one of the bosses was very rude and took such a long time getting are drinks and did not even say hello to us so why should we leve a tip for a rude **** bag like that!, and then to come over and call us pigs and say never come back agen but making sure he said it after we payed the bill!. No one should be treated in that way at all we have been going there for some time paying for what we have had, and then he treats us like **** its not on! To make ppl feel like that,
thay have been greedy pigs. and  We did not do any thing wrong!....so thats why we called the argous so every one know's what a rude man he is and how he treats paying customers!!.

momatt

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #126 on: October 03, 2012, 08:47:25 AM »
I feel very sorry for the man on the left. His face is far too small for his head and no amount of pig outs at Chinese resteraunts will cure that.

That's what I thought.  They're both very Dick Tracy, scarily so.

Telegraph link if you hate the Daily Heil:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/restaurants/9581559/Pair-banned-from-all-you-can-eat-restaurant-for-eating-too-much.html



« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 09:04:27 AM by momatt »

Thomas

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #127 on: October 05, 2012, 11:04:47 AM »
From BBC News:

'Killer put porn on vicar's body.'

Grim indeed, and very sad, but definitely Day Today-esque.

Subtle Mocking

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #128 on: October 08, 2012, 08:56:02 PM »

Danger Man

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #129 on: October 10, 2012, 05:16:51 PM »
Sarah Brightman to travel to space station

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19901386

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #130 on: October 10, 2012, 10:41:10 PM »
Sorry, but this one from the BBC news site has to go in here:

Why do we behave so oddly in lifts?


You know why...

Absorb the anus burn

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #131 on: October 12, 2012, 04:05:49 PM »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-19921055

Couple virtually destroy house trying to locate a beeping noise that turns out to be an old smoke alarm in a drawer.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #132 on: October 12, 2012, 04:09:14 PM »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-19921055

Couple virtually destroy house trying to locate a beeping noise that turns out to be an old smoke alarm in a drawer.

Duh Duh Duh de Duh de Duh. "Larry!!!"

Butchers Blind

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #133 on: October 24, 2012, 10:52:54 AM »
Face of Jesus appears in mould behind Herne Bay fridge

Quote
"I took a picture on my mobile and then wiped it off - it might look like Jesus but I've got three kids and can't be doing with mould in my house."

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #134 on: October 24, 2012, 10:55:41 AM »
I'm staring at that thing and I can't see Jesus or anything. Is it like a Magic Eye or what?

My knee looks more like Jesus than that does.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #135 on: October 24, 2012, 11:14:51 AM »
Did Jesus really look like that? It looks more like Chris Bonnington.


Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #137 on: October 26, 2012, 12:09:46 AM »
Truncated Guardian headlines, off of Guardian Truncation Team:




thisaintnopicnic

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #138 on: October 29, 2012, 11:24:47 PM »
My favourite local news story of the year so far:

'Bomb-maker Paul Smith was more of a danger to himself than anyone else'


Quote
Unemployed electrician Paul Smith, 40, made deadly pipe bombs in his workshop.

...

Det Sgt Watts said: “In truth, Mr Smith was probably more of a danger to himself than anyone else.

“It was clear he and his family thought nothing of his bomb-making hobby. He was even given a cake in the shape of a bomb.

“In interview, Mr Smith did not appear to think he had done anything wrong. He told us, ‘Some people collect stamps. I make bombs’.”

...

He also pleaded guilty to possession of amphetamines, a class B drug, which he injected.

...

The Mail visited Smith’s home for comment, but his father said to our reporter: “Will you explain to me how this is in the public interest?”

Follow the link to see a picture of the bomb cake. Incredible.


jenna appleseed

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #140 on: October 31, 2012, 02:38:17 PM »
Gang Attacks Boy With Silly String In Attempt To Steal His Pet Owl.
Love the unrelated disapproving owl photo - in case anyone reading doesn't know what an owl looks like.

Disapproving owl is not impressed by this article.

Treguard of Dunshelm

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sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #142 on: November 01, 2012, 10:24:35 AM »
Lance Armstrong Effigy To Burn On Bonfire

Not so much the headline, but the first paragraph is priceless:
Quote
A 30ft effigy of disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong wearing a Jim'll Fix It badge will be burned Edenbridge's annual bonfire celebrations this weekend.
and
Quote
Other well-known figures who have had the dubious honour of being the celebrity guy at Edenbridge's celebrations in past years include Cherie Blair, Katie Price, Gordon Brown and Russell Brand.

Treguard of Dunshelm

  • him nyam parrot batty
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #143 on: November 01, 2012, 10:47:03 AM »
Hedgehog trapped in crisp packet in Weston-super-Mare

Quote
A baby hedgehog which found itself stuck in a crisp packet has been released after a three-and-a-half hour rescue involving six people.

Queneau

  • That was a joke. That's all it was, it was a joke.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #144 on: November 01, 2012, 11:13:50 AM »
Quote
A baby hedgehog which found itself stuck in a crisp packet has been released after a three-and-a-half hour rescue involving six people.

One of them must have been a professional.

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #145 on: November 01, 2012, 11:22:54 AM »
My favourite local news story of the year so far:

'Bomb-maker Paul Smith was more of a danger to himself than anyone else'


Follow the link to see a picture of the bomb cake. Incredible.

Great story. I used to run past that street too. THIS IS WHY I LOVE HULL, WE HAVE SUCH KERAZY CHARACTERS, ONLY IN HULL!!!!

sirhenry

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Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #149 on: November 06, 2012, 12:57:46 PM »
Naked man throws rocks at swans in Plymouth as temperature drops to freezing
http://www.thisisplymouth.co.uk/Naked-man-throws-rocks-swans-Plymouth-temperature/story-17246106-detail/story.html