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Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories

Started by Jumble Cashback, February 03, 2011, 08:08:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

jenna appleseed


Norton Canes

Just wanted to mention the Sun's TERRORIST IN A FIESTA because there looks like there should be a pun there but there isn't is there?

Head Gardener




Norton Canes

On the front page of the BBC news site right now: How Brexit could change your fag packets

Classy, the BBC.

buttgammon

BRING BACK SMOKING IN PUBS!

That'll show the nanny state do-gooder Brussels bureaucrats. Bring back our brave British lung cancer!



imitationleather

Quote from: Norton Canes on October 09, 2018, 09:19:19 AM
On the front page of the BBC news site right now: How Brexit could change your fag packets

Classy, the BBC.

A sneak-peek of a post-March 2019 packet of Benson & Hedges:

greencalx

Train into Edinburgh breaks down after problems with horn

Not sure whose horn was the one that broke the train. (Don't click the link unless you really like shitty local news websites that load and play 30 videos and make you do a questionnaire in lieu of providing you any actual content).

BlodwynPig

Quote from: greencalx on October 21, 2018, 08:05:35 PM
(Don't click the link unless you really like shitty local news websites that load and play 30 videos and make you do a questionnaire in lieu of providing you any actual content).

The equivalent of going to the newsagents to get your Telegraph & Argos but being hassled by beggars and flashers on the long route.

Isnt Anything

Deport buttock death accused, says judge

is the current homepage headline for this story -

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45980070



BlodwynPig


Spoon of Ploff

Bill Gates brandishes poo to showcase reinvented toilet tech

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-46108083

where's the poo? it's in a jaaar mate.


Cuellar


Norton Canes

Dunno where else to put this (is it worth starting a 'How shit is the BBC these days' thread?)

Singapore otters photobomb UK couple's marriage proposal



So, hang on, you went out with the express intention of watching some otters - along with a wildlife photographer - then you were surprised when some otters turned up?

QuoteThe otters are part of a group known as the Bishan 10, one of several otter families thriving in Singapore's urban areas.
They have featured in multiple news outlets, a David Attenborough documentary and have whole Facebook groups dedicated to them.
Mr Doyle and his now fiancée Mary Lister are travelling around the world and had contacted Mr Seah, who regularly follows and photographs the otters, to see if he could help them see them while they were in town.
On Tuesday, they met up with Mr Seah and a group of other local photographers, who then led them to the Marina Reservoir in the city.

Quote"When I asked them to pose for a photo, the otters came out of the water and approached the couple," photographer Bernard Seah told the BBC.
"I was like, oh my god, I cannot believe this.


Fuck.


slicesofjim


kalowski


Ferris


jenna appleseed

Hotel apologises for 'dummy body' tribute to UK couple's dead son
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/dec/07/hotel-apologises-for-dummy-body-tribute-to-uk-couples-dead-son

"His godmother, Karen Baker, who was on holiday with the couple, had asked staff at the five-star Royalton Resort to surprise them with balloons and cake in their bedroom to mark the day.
The hotel workers instead created an effigy of Alex by stuffing the couple's clothes with towels and arranging it on the bed. The figure had tears on its face and a can of lager in its hand and was positioned next to petals spelling out: "We miss you Alex." "
and the photo

serious wrong lols - going to hell brb

Bennett Brauer

Quote from: jenna appleseed on December 08, 2018, 03:31:52 AMserious wrong lols - going to hell brb

We've all duplicated General Bullshit threads hours later, don't be too hard on yourself.

Head Gardener


greencalx

Edinburgh hospital worker hit surgeon's head with wine glass after he compared her to orangutan

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-hospital-worker-hit-surgeon-s-head-with-wine-glass-after-he-compared-her-to-orangutan-1-4852405

The picture accompanying the story is particularly good.

Ferris

Quote from: jenna appleseed on December 08, 2018, 03:31:52 AM
Hotel apologises for 'dummy body' tribute to UK couple's dead son
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/dec/07/hotel-apologises-for-dummy-body-tribute-to-uk-couples-dead-son

"His godmother, Karen Baker, who was on holiday with the couple, had asked staff at the five-star Royalton Resort to surprise them with balloons and cake in their bedroom to mark the day.
The hotel workers instead created an effigy of Alex by stuffing the couple's clothes with towels and arranging it on the bed. The figure had tears on its face and a can of lager in its hand and was positioned next to petals spelling out: "We miss you Alex." "
and the photo

serious wrong lols - going to hell brb

How did I miss this?! The can of lager is what puts it over the top for me.

Bazooka

Quote from: greencalx on January 06, 2019, 10:29:59 PM
Edinburgh hospital worker hit surgeon's head with wine glass after he compared her to orangutan

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-hospital-worker-hit-surgeon-s-head-with-wine-glass-after-he-compared-her-to-orangutan-1-4852405

The picture accompanying the story is particularly good.

Without checking the link, I was confused why there would be wine glasses knocking about in a hospital.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: greencalx on January 06, 2019, 10:29:59 PM
Edinburgh hospital worker hit surgeon's head with wine glass after he compared her to orangutan

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-hospital-worker-hit-surgeon-s-head-with-wine-glass-after-he-compared-her-to-orangutan-1-4852405

The picture accompanying the story is particularly good.

In stitches

QuoteMr Gaston, 48, lightheartedly likened Knight to one of the ruddy-coloured great apes.

greencalx

Quote from: Bazooka on January 07, 2019, 03:10:30 AM
Without checking the link, I was confused why there would be wine glasses knocking about in a hospital.

It's a very ungainly headline, for sure, and manages to be misleading in at least two ways (this and the fact it's a hospital worker who lives in Edinburgh but not someone who works in an Edinburgh hospital).