Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories  (Read 50658 times)

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #540 on: January 18, 2019, 07:57:29 PM »
Currently on BBC site:

IVF couple have triplets after sex mistake

Head Gardener

  • weed specialist
    • Gardening mixes
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #541 on: February 01, 2019, 05:00:31 PM »

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #544 on: March 29, 2019, 02:07:34 PM »


FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #546 on: April 17, 2019, 03:33:30 PM »
Llangollen priest to bless beer for 'real ale train'

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-47719407

Glebe

  • I did it my way.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #547 on: April 17, 2019, 11:02:41 PM »
Llangollen priest to bless beer for 'real ale train'

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-47719407

That's also an Only Fools and Horses in real news story (the one where the priest blesses the trucks of Romanian Riesling)!

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #548 on: April 18, 2019, 01:30:46 AM »
That's also an Only Fools and Horses in real news story (the one where the priest blesses the trucks of Romanian Riesling)!

Yes! I was put in mind of “Trotter’s pre-blessed wine” and the shot of the priest blessing the back of the lorry. It also has a Father Ted angle. It’s really quite the story

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #549 on: April 19, 2019, 12:52:59 PM »

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #550 on: April 19, 2019, 04:45:57 PM »
I never thought I'd read the headline "Did police use Emma Thompson as bait?"



Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #551 on: April 23, 2019, 11:30:20 PM »


imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #553 on: April 23, 2019, 11:54:19 PM »


Ah man, they look so happy about it being grey.

(Her husband seems a little young, though.)

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #554 on: April 24, 2019, 12:12:51 AM »
Ah man, they look so happy about it being grey.

(Her husband seems a little young, though.)

I think these type of stories are sinister. There is dumbing down and comfort news, but this seems like it was sent from a malevolent alien race to destroy our minds with banality - unaware that our minds are already destroyed by epsilon less banal stories generated from our own brains.

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #555 on: April 29, 2019, 03:46:37 PM »
Essex Police misconduct probe over toilet fingertip loss

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-essex-48092601

PlanktonSideburns

  • lunch - small raw potato, peeled.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #556 on: April 29, 2019, 03:56:42 PM »

St_Eddie

  • *The Patron Saint of Scallywags*
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • LIKES: Deviled eggs DISLIKES: The Devil & bad eggs
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #557 on: April 29, 2019, 06:39:43 PM »


What's happening with those eyes



"His Eyes. What's wrong with his eyes? For God's sake, what happened to his eyes?!"



Tony Tony Tony

  • Nobody expects... you know the rest
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #558 on: April 30, 2019, 01:05:47 PM »

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #559 on: April 30, 2019, 05:14:55 PM »


Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #561 on: May 13, 2019, 03:38:39 PM »
Ballymurphy soldiers 'out of control'

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #562 on: May 15, 2019, 11:56:54 AM »
Potato-throwing teenagers scaring off town’s tourists

A Highland town has been described as a “no-go” area at night after teenagers drove at a group of tourists – before throwing potatoes at them.


https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/highlands/1746765/youths-drive-at-group-of-tourists-before-throwing-potatoes-at-them/?fbclid=IwAR3DV-y-a4mP1z3cHYv1T5W1M-iHzv3sDv0gXgr43Phrfxa1z43W1l1CIrs

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #563 on: May 15, 2019, 03:09:18 PM »
^thats excellent

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #565 on: May 16, 2019, 12:01:31 PM »
Ballymurphy soldiers 'out of control'

Sorry, just realised it's not 'Balamory'

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Less tired. Still sorry if my posts are shit.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #566 on: May 16, 2019, 12:05:14 PM »
You can create/improve any headline by adding “, say scientists” to the end.

My monkey one above is much funnier with that added

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #567 on: May 24, 2019, 12:02:54 AM »
Quote
A judge has questioned whether prosecuting a man who was sent "snake porn" via a WhatsApp messaging group was in the public interest.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-48379744