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Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories

Started by Jumble Cashback, February 03, 2011, 08:08:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Captain Z

Currently on BBC site:

IVF couple have triplets after sex mistake

Head Gardener






Ferris


Glebe

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on April 17, 2019, 03:33:30 PMLlangollen priest to bless beer for 'real ale train'

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-47719407

That's also an Only Fools and Horses in real news story (the one where the priest blesses the trucks of Romanian Riesling)!

Ferris

Quote from: Glebe on April 17, 2019, 11:02:41 PM
That's also an Only Fools and Horses in real news story (the one where the priest blesses the trucks of Romanian Riesling)!

Yes! I was put in mind of "Trotter's pre-blessed wine" and the shot of the priest blessing the back of the lorry. It also has a Father Ted angle. It's really quite the story


I never thought I'd read the headline "Did police use Emma Thompson as bait?"





imitationleather

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 23, 2019, 11:30:20 PM


Ah man, they look so happy about it being grey.

(Her husband seems a little young, though.)

BlodwynPig

Quote from: imitationleather on April 23, 2019, 11:54:19 PM
Ah man, they look so happy about it being grey.

(Her husband seems a little young, though.)

I think these type of stories are sinister. There is dumbing down and comfort news, but this seems like it was sent from a malevolent alien race to destroy our minds with banality - unaware that our minds are already destroyed by epsilon less banal stories generated from our own brains.

Ferris


PlanktonSideburns


St_Eddie

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on April 29, 2019, 03:56:42 PM


What's happening with those eyes



"His Eyes. What's wrong with his eyes? For God's sake, what happened to his eyes?!"



Tony Tony Tony


Ferris



Norton Canes


Sebastian Cobb

Potato-throwing teenagers scaring off town's tourists

A Highland town has been described as a "no-go" area at night after teenagers drove at a group of tourists – before throwing potatoes at them.


https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/highlands/1746765/youths-drive-at-group-of-tourists-before-throwing-potatoes-at-them/?fbclid=IwAR3DV-y-a4mP1z3cHYv1T5W1M-iHzv3sDv0gXgr43Phrfxa1z43W1l1CIrs

Ferris


Ferris


Norton Canes

Quote from: Norton Canes on May 13, 2019, 03:38:39 PM
Ballymurphy soldiers 'out of control'

Sorry, just realised it's not 'Balamory'

Ferris

You can create/improve any headline by adding ", say scientists" to the end.

My monkey one above is much funnier with that added

Bazooka

QuoteA judge has questioned whether prosecuting a man who was sent "snake porn" via a WhatsApp messaging group was in the public interest.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-48379744

Ambient Sheep

Helter-skelter 'first' for cathedral

...it says on the BBC News homepage, leading to this.

All it needs is ", says bishop." on the end to make it 100% perfect Chris.

QuoteThe Very Reverend Jane Hedges, Dean of Norwich Cathedral, said the installation was "certainly not a gimmick".


Also being discussed here.