Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories

[buttgammon]

Speaking of cattle:
https://www.leaderlive.co.uk/news/18017587.rossett-farmers-fed-cows-mince-pies-ice-cream/

"You feed beefburgers to swans."

[FerriswheelBueller]

”Pete Doherty hospitalised following hedgehog injury”

[FerriswheelBueller]

Royal says in BBC interview that in hindsight staying with sex offender was wrong

[Small Man Big Horse]

Saw this earlier today thanks to Facebook:

[Small Man Big Horse]

Just saw this on the town where I grew up's website:



Which includes these earth shattering revelations:

Send (pronounced Send)
Send seems like an easy one to pronounce, but some have been known to give it an extra 'e' - "See-nd".

Send is a village and civil parish in the Guildford borough.

Redhill (pronounced Red-hill)

Redhill, a seemingly simple place name to say, is sometimes pronounced "Red-ill". You need to work on your diction if you're an offender in this regard.

Smallfield (pronounced Smallfield)

Smallfield, in the Tandridge district, is often pronounced with an extra 's' at the end of it - "Smallfields". It's not a collection of small fields; just the one thank you very much.

Leatherhead (pronounced Leather-head)

Leatherhead is sometimes pronounced "Lev-red" by those of lazy diction. Put some effort in people.

I've seen some tedious shit on websites like this in the past but this patronising nonsense really takes the biscuit.

[Head Gardener]

I just came across this newspaper clipping from the 70's concerning my dads old 2nd hand shop, he once told me,
"always remember to get a staff member to hold the bomb" of course those were the days when folk were allowed to hold bombs up for the local press.

[Quote]

Someone Is Putting Cowboy Hats on Pigeons in Las Vegas

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/10/us/pigeons-cowboy-hats-las-vegas.html

[Sebastian Cobb]

Just saw this on the town where I grew up's website:



Which includes these earth shattering revelations:

I've seen some tedious shit on websites like this in the past but this patronising nonsense really takes the biscuit.

Work sent me to Leatherhead and tedious was definitely the word. I've seen bleak Travelodges before but this one just had a counter at one end, some lifts and two vending machines, one of which was a hagan daas machine that poured its own cups and looked frankly disgusting.

I went through that thing if having a beer with my dinner in a wetherspoons, then sat there wondering whether to have another bleak solitary pint or retire to watch something I have no interest in on the telly.

They put me in a disabled suite. I slammed my laptop into the panic alarm trying to get a WiFi signal so I could have a wank.

[Head Gardener]

[Sebastian Cobb]

Sharon Osbourne forced employee into burning fire to save artwork then fired him for not laughing

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/sharon-osbourne-house-fire-artwork-fired-would-i-lie-to-you-a9261156.html

[pcsjwgm]

Iran May Have a Fleet of Communist Killer Dolphins
https://mobile.twitter.com/Militarydotcom/status/1215412746663223297

[Tikwid]

Meet the Devon woman whose knees look like EastEnders hard men Grant & Phil Mitchell

[Bazooka]

Meet the Devon woman whose knees look like EastEnders hard men Grant & Phil Mitchell

The journalist got some real strong mileage out of the story, writing award incoming.