Just saw this on the town where I grew up's website:

Which includes these earth shattering revelations:
I've seen some tedious shit on websites like this in the past but this patronising nonsense really takes the biscuit.
Work sent me to Leatherhead and tedious was definitely the word. I've seen bleak Travelodges before but this one just had a counter at one end, some lifts and two vending machines, one of which was a hagan daas machine that poured its own cups and looked frankly disgusting.
I went through that thing if having a beer with my dinner in a wetherspoons, then sat there wondering whether to have another bleak solitary pint or retire to watch something I have no interest in on the telly.
They put me in a disabled suite. I slammed my laptop into the panic alarm trying to get a WiFi signal so I could have a wank.