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March 19, 2024, 10:53:12 AM

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Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories

Started by Jumble Cashback, February 03, 2011, 08:08:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

buttgammon


Ferris


Ferris

Royal says in BBC interview that in hindsight staying with sex offender was wrong

Small Man Big Horse


Small Man Big Horse

Just saw this on the town where I grew up's website:



Which includes these earth shattering revelations:

QuoteSend (pronounced Send)
Send seems like an easy one to pronounce, but some have been known to give it an extra 'e' - "See-nd".

Send is a village and civil parish in the Guildford borough.

Redhill (pronounced Red-hill)

Redhill, a seemingly simple place name to say, is sometimes pronounced "Red-ill". You need to work on your diction if you're an offender in this regard.

Smallfield (pronounced Smallfield)

Smallfield, in the Tandridge district, is often pronounced with an extra 's' at the end of it - "Smallfields". It's not a collection of small fields; just the one thank you very much.

Leatherhead (pronounced Leather-head)

Leatherhead is sometimes pronounced "Lev-red" by those of lazy diction. Put some effort in people.

I've seen some tedious shit on websites like this in the past but this patronising nonsense really takes the biscuit.

Head Gardener

I just came across this newspaper clipping from the 70's concerning my dads old 2nd hand shop, he once told me,
"always remember to get a staff member to hold the bomb" of course those were the days when folk were allowed to hold bombs up for the local press.



Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on December 01, 2019, 12:30:56 PM
Just saw this on the town where I grew up's website:



Which includes these earth shattering revelations:

I've seen some tedious shit on websites like this in the past but this patronising nonsense really takes the biscuit.

Work sent me to Leatherhead and tedious was definitely the word. I've seen bleak Travelodges before but this one just had a counter at one end, some lifts and two vending machines, one of which was a hagan daas machine that poured its own cups and looked frankly disgusting.

I went through that thing if having a beer with my dinner in a wetherspoons, then sat there wondering whether to have another bleak solitary pint or retire to watch something I have no interest in on the telly.

They put me in a disabled suite. I slammed my laptop into the panic alarm trying to get a WiFi signal so I could have a wank.

Head Gardener










imitationleather

"The weight of a small bungalow" is an amazing turn of phrase.

But how do they know what one weighs?

popcorn

Well you just start with the weight of a bungalow and then subtract a bit.

Ferris

If you get to the weight of a garage you've subtracted too much so watch out for that.

Bazooka

Quote from: imitationleather on February 19, 2021, 07:45:28 PM
"The weight of a small bungalow" is an amazing turn of phrase.

But how do they know what one weighs?

It's very Partridge.





MoonDust


Petey Pate


bakabaka

Quote from: Petey Pate on January 06, 2022, 05:12:44 PMJeremy Clarkson left with 'smashed testicles' after being 'attacked' by cow

https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/19822923.jeremy-clarkson-left-smashed-testicles-attacked-cow/
Most popular on that page currently includes: "Drink driver had four pints and then 'wanted to get home to dog'"

So much of that site is just clickbait.

Petey Pate

Quote from: bakabaka on January 06, 2022, 05:28:27 PMMost popular on that page currently includes: "Drink driver had four pints and then 'wanted to get home to dog'"

So much of that site is just clickbait.

I haven't looked at a physical copy of the newspaper in years (it's our local tabloid) but that kind of story is on par with what was usually actually printed. There used to be a whole section called Scales of Justice which just names and shames people recently charged by the Oxford Magistrates Court. Presumably, they're constantly strapped for stories to meet their required page numbers.

Many years ago I spent a week interning at their offices and everyone there was miserable and/or alcoholics. They also sent me out with a broken camera to get some photos of Oxford's 'most dangerous alleyway'. Put me off journalism as a career choice for life.   

Fambo Number Mive

Where was Oxford's "most dangerous alleyway" at the time you were interning there?

It's my local paper as well and I agree a lot of it is clickbait. They even decided to ring GP practices for one story to see how long it took them to reply. I'm not sure how that is newsworthy but it didn't go down very well given it added to the waiting times for people who needed to ring their GP for something more important than a news story.

It's a real shame as local news is very important and people need to be well informed about where they live, but I suppose it's a reflection of how local papers get most of their money from clicks. I still read it most days and I do feel sorry for whoever moderates the comments, there are some real dickheads commenting on there.