Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories (Read 70180 times)

Jumble Cashback · « **on:** February 03, 2011, 08:08:53 PM »

Just spotted the headline 'GOOGLE EYES APPLE IN TABLET WAR' on the BBC's website. Imagine waking up from a 30 year coma and seeing that in the morning paper. Anyone else seen any headlines that could lunge happily out of CM's newsmouth?

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #1 on:** February 03, 2011, 08:16:33 PM »

Retweet maiself? OH YAEAH

Quote

'rapist wins junk food ban case' 'frozen egg mother abused online'. are these real, beeb?

Both existing modern BBC news headlines.

chand · « **Reply #2 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:04:22 AM »

The Mail's "Parkinson's medication turned me into gambling gay sex thief, says 51-year-old married father" from yesterday was impressive.

Zero Gravitas · « **Reply #3 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:19:58 AM »

thecuriousorange · « **Reply #4 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:27:50 AM »

actwithoutwords · « **Reply #5 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:44:33 AM »

thecuriousorange · « **Reply #6 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:48:24 AM »

Marty McFly · « **Reply #7 on:** February 04, 2011, 12:59:07 AM »

A couple from Norfolk newspapers this week:

"Stiletto Attack in Nightclub"
"Woman hurt by exploding Washing Machine"

Mister Six · « **Reply #8 on:** February 04, 2011, 01:06:02 AM »

Quote from: Marty McFly on February 04, 2011, 12:59:07 AM

A couple from Norfolk newspapers this week:

"Stiletto Attack in Nightclub"
"Woman hurt by exploding Washing Machine"

Dunno, they sound a bit mundane to me. "Woman hurt by exploding washing" might be more impressive.

TIAL · « **Reply #9 on:** February 04, 2011, 01:11:05 AM »

El Unicornio, mang · « **Reply #10 on:** February 04, 2011, 01:15:34 AM »

Quote from: Mister Six on February 04, 2011, 01:06:02 AM

Dunno, they sound a bit mundane to me. "Woman hurt by exploding washing" might be more impressive.

Or: "washing machine hurt by exploding woman"

thecuriousorange · « **Reply #11 on:** February 04, 2011, 01:28:02 AM »

Quote from: TIAL on February 04, 2011, 01:11:05 AM

At first glance I thought that said Girls' School Stiff Offering.

Zero Gravitas · « **Reply #12 on:** February 04, 2011, 01:35:26 AM »

It's already been in the tags but what the hell, it's a tradition!

I still have warm memories of that spate of dog electrocutions in 2007

Second dog electrocuted by lamppost
_{Mastiff ‘shot five feet in the air’}

http://www.thecnj.com/camden/022207/news022207_16.html

Small Man Big Horse · « **Reply #13 on:** February 04, 2011, 02:22:16 AM »

Alas I cropped the headline, but the story's a good one.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #14 on:** February 04, 2011, 02:28:14 AM »

The one remaining one I can find of:

thecuriousorange · « **Reply #15 on:** February 04, 2011, 02:38:20 AM »

Big Jack McBastard · « **Reply #16 on:** February 04, 2011, 02:48:33 AM »

Depressed Beyond Tables · « **Reply #17 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:10:21 AM »

I always thought this was a bit insensitive:

El Unicornio, mang · « **Reply #18 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:19:38 AM »

Some failblog ones

Santa's Boyfriend · « **Reply #19 on:** February 04, 2011, 09:21:58 AM »

biggytitbo · « **Reply #20 on:** February 04, 2011, 10:11:52 AM »

This wins:
German throws puppy at Hells Angels then flees on bulldozer

Jemble Fred · « **Reply #21 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:01:21 PM »

This really doesn't belong here, but I can't find our last 'weird news' thread. http://www.kcra.com/r/26722035/detail.html

Quote

"Nice Tits," said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman's chest.

Jumble Cashback · « **Reply #22 on:** February 05, 2011, 08:32:01 PM »

Just seen another good one on the BBC website: CHERNOBYL BIRDS ARE SMALL BRAINED.

momatt · « **Reply #23 on:** February 08, 2011, 11:13:18 AM »

This is as good a place as any to write this - On last night's News Night they included a clip of The Day Today in the opening few minutes. It was the patriotic bit they show in emergencies after John Major and the Queen have a fight, including a policeman smoking a spliff etc.
Just thought it was a bit odd, as so much of Morris’s character is based on Paxman in the first place, didn’t quite fit either.

Doctor Stamen · « **Reply #24 on:** February 08, 2011, 08:18:04 PM »

Saw this a couple of days back and it made me chuckle. I think it's the "NOT" that does it.

TV presenter Bob Wilson's son-in-law was killed by corned beef sandwich NOT sea urchin

Lookalike Mark Chapman · « **Reply #25 on:** February 09, 2011, 03:57:36 PM »

ROBOTS TO GET THEIR OWN INTERNET

Ignatius_S · « **Reply #26 on:** February 09, 2011, 04:06:16 PM »

Man killed by knife-wielding cock

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #27 on:** February 09, 2011, 04:08:41 PM »

Quote

UK buttock injection woman dies

It might be slightly insensitive to post that but the BBC seem to want to wring out the weirdness for all it's worth, because it's The Sun, apparently.

sirhenry · « **Reply #28 on:** February 09, 2011, 04:19:48 PM »

Boy killed in giant snowman horror.
Still my favourite headline. It's the extra 'horror' for no reason that makes it.

AnonymousPoster · « **Reply #29 on:** February 09, 2011, 07:59:13 PM »

_{http://goo.gl/WqnU2}

News:

Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories (Read 70180 times)