Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories (Read 58862 times)

George Oscar Bluth II · « **Reply #60 on:** March 30, 2011, 10:15:08 PM »

Norwich puppet man shows “new lease of life” after death rumours

SetToStun · « **Reply #61 on:** March 31, 2011, 09:58:10 AM »

Is he the guy who pops up in Great Yarmouth as well? Old mini-boom-box, waves cloth "puppets" up and down with no regard to the beat of the music?

HAYRDRYAH · « **Reply #62 on:** March 31, 2011, 05:32:12 PM »

PM just did an 'audio metaphor' with a reporter walking around and around in the revolving door at the Audit Commission. Pure Austen Tasseltine

George Oscar Bluth II · « **Reply #63 on:** March 31, 2011, 08:49:37 PM »

Quote from: SetToStun on March 31, 2011, 09:58:10 AM

Is he the guy who pops up in Great Yarmouth as well? Old mini-boom-box, waves cloth "puppets" up and down with no regard to the beat of the music?

Yes he is. And he's not dead.

chocolateboy · « **Reply #64 on:** March 31, 2011, 10:17:06 PM »

I've just googled "Armacession". 0 hits. Modern Chris Morris dues-paying is rubbish.

Queneau · « **Reply #65 on:** March 31, 2011, 10:30:42 PM »

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on March 31, 2011, 08:49:37 PM

Yes he is. And he's not dead.

How does he survive? Is he government funded?

Glebe · « **Reply #66 on:** July 04, 2011, 10:32:47 PM »

Tiny water bug with "singing penis" sets noise record.

Glebe · « **Reply #67 on:** July 28, 2012, 06:35:53 PM »

Double-decker bus does pushups for Olympics glory.

Pudsey in Hollywood movie talks.

(Although sadly its not the one-eyed Children In Need bear.)

Madagascar Director Tom McGrath Tapped To Helm Ben Stiller's RentaGhost.

hummingofevil · « **Reply #68 on:** July 29, 2012, 12:17:50 AM »

On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"

Jerzy Bondov · « **Reply #69 on:** July 29, 2012, 08:10:54 PM »

Quote from: hummingofevil on July 29, 2012, 12:17:50 AM

On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"

Ah yes, the current issue of Chat if I'm not mistaken. I was reading it in the chinese takeaway the other night, it's absolutely amazing. Another headline from the same cover:

"My bangers went bang!"

There's also a page where you can touch a photograph of a key and it'll give you good luck. To prove it, they tell you somebody who touched it in a previous issue went to a haunted house and saw a ghost! What luck.

castro diaz · « **Reply #70 on:** July 30, 2012, 03:28:07 PM »

The first and last time I read the South Wales Echo. What a scoop!

QDRPHNC · « **Reply #71 on:** July 30, 2012, 08:35:30 PM »

From the Daily Mail:

"Man who pretended to be blind to get sympathy and carers found dead in a ditch."

A tragic tale I'm sure, but it's the bluntless of the headline that appeals to me.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #72 on:** July 30, 2012, 08:53:32 PM »

Quote from: QDRPHNC on July 30, 2012, 08:35:30 PM

From the Daily Mail:

"Man who pretended to be blind to get sympathy and carers found dead in a ditch."

A tragic tale I'm sure, but it's the bluntless of the headline that appeals to me.

Incredible. This is wonderful, what happened?

QDRPHNC · « **Reply #73 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:22:59 PM »

Quote from: BlodwynPig on July 30, 2012, 08:53:32 PM

Incredible. This is wonderful, what happened?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180002/Man-pretended-blind-sympathy-carers-dead-ditch.html

DrGreggles · « **Reply #74 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:43:29 PM »

It appears that whoever chose that photo was actually blind.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #75 on:** July 30, 2012, 10:07:28 PM »

Quote

But the inquest was told he could see perfectly well and if someone dropped money on a pavement he would be the first to pick it up.

A common occurrence.

sirhenry · « **Reply #76 on:** July 31, 2012, 05:06:00 PM »

BBC News website continue with their misleading headlines:

Replies From View · « **Reply #77 on:** July 31, 2012, 08:18:58 PM »

Quote from: hummingofevil on July 29, 2012, 12:17:50 AM

On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"

Glebe · « **Reply #78 on:** August 04, 2012, 06:58:49 PM »

Teddy bears defeat Belarus generals.

sirhenry · « **Reply #79 on:** August 04, 2012, 07:42:16 PM »

The BBC were at it again today with Man killed after glider crash. First he crashes his glider, then some fruitbasket killed him. It wasn't his day. Or the truth.

Hymenoptera · « **Reply #80 on:** August 04, 2012, 09:09:23 PM »

A couple from the BT Yahoo homepage:

Birds' Heads Torn off in Zoo Rampage
Well Done... Now Are You On Drugs?

Just saw this an' all: "What if Michael Phelps Were a Country?"

Slaaaaabs · « **Reply #81 on:** August 09, 2012, 03:03:27 PM »

Madonna Appeal Over Pussy Riot

Jemble Fred · « **Reply #82 on:** August 09, 2012, 03:04:15 PM »

Quote from: Slaaaaabs on August 09, 2012, 03:03:27 PM

Madonna Appeal Over Pussy Riot

I did note Elton John calling her a 'fairground stripper' the other day... what kind of fucking fairgrounds has he been going to? Hook the duck yes, strippers, no.

Mr Eggs · « **Reply #83 on:** August 09, 2012, 03:47:19 PM »

Quote from: Replies From View on July 31, 2012, 08:18:58 PM

CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism

Jerzy Bondov · « **Reply #84 on:** August 09, 2012, 04:22:15 PM »

Right that's brilliant, I'm going to go and buy it because it looks amazing. Sincere thanks

mrfridge · « **Reply #85 on:** August 09, 2012, 04:46:30 PM »

Quote from: Mr Eggs on August 09, 2012, 03:47:19 PM

CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism

Jesus Christ, how are these magazines successful? It genuinely boggles the mind that this shit gets read. I mean I understand that people leading god awful lives need to feel better about themselves by reading how even more tragic other people's existences are but it's a sad state of affairs when a front cover splash consists of a paedo's list of conquests.

"Oooh Kelly, look, let's see what the nonce did, quick before Kenny gets back and punches me in the face". Fucks sake.

Dark Sky · « **Reply #86 on:** August 09, 2012, 08:48:28 PM »

Quote from: mrfridge on August 09, 2012, 04:46:30 PM

I understand that people leading god awful lives need to feel better about themselves by reading how even more tragic other people's existences are

I dunno, the farty bum cancer woman looks jolly happy to me

Replies From View · « **Reply #87 on:** August 09, 2012, 11:10:30 PM »

Quote from: Mr Eggs on August 09, 2012, 03:47:19 PM

CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism

Because of the farty bum cancer one from earlier, I read one of the ones on that cover as "I was farted to get cancer".

Jerzy Bondov · « **Reply #88 on:** August 10, 2012, 01:01:27 PM »

They don't have Chat It's Fate in Waitrose, just normal Chat. I'll have a look in Tesco tomorrow if that's alright with you lot.

I saw normal Chat and said to my girlfriend 'ha ha look at this magazine, it's mental'. We could only see the headline 'You've GOAT to be kidding' with a picture of a goat, which we enjoyed, but then I pulled the magazine down, still laughing, and the main headline this month is RAPED AS MUM SLEPT. Made me look like a right nutter.

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #89 on:** August 14, 2012, 08:44:37 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories (Read 58862 times)