Author Topic: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories  (Read 49867 times)

George Oscar Bluth II

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #60 on: March 30, 2011, 10:15:08 PM »
Norwich puppet man shows “new lease of life” after death rumours

SetToStun

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #61 on: March 31, 2011, 09:58:10 AM »
Is he the guy who pops up in Great Yarmouth as well? Old mini-boom-box, waves cloth "puppets" up and down with no regard to the beat of the music?

Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #62 on: March 31, 2011, 05:32:12 PM »
PM just did an 'audio metaphor' with a reporter walking around and around in the revolving door at the Audit Commission. Pure Austen Tasseltine

George Oscar Bluth II

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #63 on: March 31, 2011, 08:49:37 PM »
Is he the guy who pops up in Great Yarmouth as well? Old mini-boom-box, waves cloth "puppets" up and down with no regard to the beat of the music?

Yes he is. And he's not dead.

chocolateboy

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #64 on: March 31, 2011, 10:17:06 PM »
I've just googled "Armacession". 0 hits. Modern Chris Morris dues-paying is rubbish.

Queneau

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #65 on: March 31, 2011, 10:30:42 PM »
Yes he is. And he's not dead.

How does he survive? Is he government funded?

Glebe

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Glebe

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #68 on: July 29, 2012, 12:17:50 AM »
On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"


Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #69 on: July 29, 2012, 08:10:54 PM »
On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"
Ah yes, the current issue of Chat if I'm not mistaken. I was reading it in the chinese takeaway the other night, it's absolutely amazing. Another headline from the same cover:

"My bangers went bang!"

There's also a page where you can touch a photograph of a key and it'll give you good luck. To prove it, they tell you somebody who touched it in a previous issue went to a haunted house and saw a ghost! What luck.

castro diaz

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #70 on: July 30, 2012, 03:28:07 PM »
The first and last time I read the South Wales Echo.  What a scoop!


QDRPHNC

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #71 on: July 30, 2012, 08:35:30 PM »
From the Daily Mail:

"Man who pretended to be blind to get sympathy and carers found dead in a ditch."

A tragic tale I'm sure, but it's the bluntless of the headline that appeals to me.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #72 on: July 30, 2012, 08:53:32 PM »
From the Daily Mail:

"Man who pretended to be blind to get sympathy and carers found dead in a ditch."

A tragic tale I'm sure, but it's the bluntless of the headline that appeals to me.

Incredible. This is wonderful, what happened?

QDRPHNC

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #74 on: July 30, 2012, 09:43:29 PM »
It appears that whoever chose that photo was actually blind.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #75 on: July 30, 2012, 10:07:28 PM »
Quote
But the inquest was told he could see perfectly well and if someone dropped money on a pavement he would be the first to pick it up.

A common occurrence.

sirhenry

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #76 on: July 31, 2012, 05:06:00 PM »
BBC News website continue with their misleading headlines:

Replies From View

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #77 on: July 31, 2012, 08:18:58 PM »
On the front of one of those mental women's mags.

"Wind of doom; my farty bum was cancer!"


Glebe

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sirhenry

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #79 on: August 04, 2012, 07:42:16 PM »
The BBC were at it again today with Man killed after glider crash. First he crashes his glider, then some fruitbasket killed him. It wasn't his day. Or the truth.

Hymenoptera

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #80 on: August 04, 2012, 09:09:23 PM »
A couple from the BT Yahoo homepage:

Birds' Heads Torn off in Zoo Rampage
Well Done... Now Are You On Drugs?

Just saw this an' all: "What if Michael Phelps Were a Country?"
« Last Edit: August 04, 2012, 10:08:54 PM by Hymenoptera »


Jemble Fred

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #82 on: August 09, 2012, 03:04:15 PM »
Madonna Appeal Over Pussy Riot

I did note Elton John calling her a 'fairground stripper' the other day... what kind of fucking fairgrounds has he been going to? Hook the duck yes, strippers, no.

Mr Eggs

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #83 on: August 09, 2012, 03:47:19 PM »


CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism


Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #84 on: August 09, 2012, 04:22:15 PM »
Right that's brilliant, I'm going to go and buy it because it looks amazing. Sincere thanks

mrfridge

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #85 on: August 09, 2012, 04:46:30 PM »
CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism



Jesus Christ, how are these magazines successful? It genuinely boggles the mind that this shit gets read. I mean I understand that people leading god awful lives need to feel better about themselves by reading how even more tragic other people's existences are but it's a sad state of affairs when a front cover splash consists of a paedo's list of conquests.

"Oooh Kelly, look, let's see what the nonce did, quick before Kenny gets back and punches me in the face". Fucks sake.

Dark Sky

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #86 on: August 09, 2012, 08:48:28 PM »
I understand that people leading god awful lives need to feel better about themselves by reading how even more tragic other people's existences are

I dunno, the farty bum cancer woman looks jolly happy to me

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #87 on: August 09, 2012, 11:10:30 PM »
CHAT magazine has a companion publication that is far more focused on providing factual journalism



Because of the farty bum cancer one from earlier, I read one of the ones on that cover as "I was farted to get cancer".

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #88 on: August 10, 2012, 01:01:27 PM »
They don't have Chat It's Fate in Waitrose, just normal Chat. I'll have a look in Tesco tomorrow if that's alright with you lot.

I saw normal Chat and said to my girlfriend 'ha ha look at this magazine, it's mental'. We could only see the headline 'You've GOAT to be kidding' with a picture of a goat, which we enjoyed, but then I pulled the magazine down, still laughing, and the main headline this month is RAPED AS MUM SLEPT. Made me look like a right nutter.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Day Today-esque headlines in real news stories
« Reply #89 on: August 14, 2012, 08:44:37 PM »