HONK! HONK! Ride the Jalopy 2011!

[Zero Gravitas]

All right you utter fucking wastrels! Look at these doors absolutely caked in rust, the headlights don't even work, and the less said about the rats in the radiator the better.

It's time again to start up your image editing application of choice and start changing the colours of picture elements!

that should read 3 days to a round!

THIS IS THE SIGN-UP THREAD!
LMC IS THE MIM!
AN INCREASE IN IMAGE SIZE WILL BE CONSIDERED!

[alan nagsworth]

Count me in, brothers.

[Zero Gravitas]

Good man Nagsy you'll go far[nb]as long as there are no other entrants.[/nb]!

[Cerys]

Maybe.

[Big Jack McBastard]

I sense defeat on the horizon, nonetheless I'm in.

[Repentia]

Let's go to work. And come back from work, and do this.

[DocDaneeka]

I'm in like Flynn.

[small_world]

I totally don't get this..
But I'm sure I'll get it as it goes... Also, I don't know how to mong too well, but this'll help me learn...

Could I play please? I promise I'll try my hardest.

[Zero Gravitas]

Yaaay!

Come on guys that haven't signed up yet! We can fit more than 7 people in this Jalopy!

[Lyndon]

Of course I'll play.

[Zero Gravitas]

Eight seems to be a good number, If my scribbles are correct that'd leave one clear winner.

If we get no new people on this ride by tomorrow I'm firing the starting pistol.

[Zero Gravitas]

STOP STOP STOP!

This year we have:

alan nagsworth
Zero Gravitas
Cerys
Big Jack McBastard
Repentia
DocDaneeka
small_world
Lyndon

All trying to win the Jalopy, I'm not sure if there's a jalopy to be won or it's some kind of metaphorical jalopy race but in any case this year's MIM LMC will be providing us with a starting image (some time in the near future) and then telling us who he thinks is the most shit (Three days after that).

Good luck you little squares! Good Luck!

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Here we go! Thanks Zero Gravitas for getting this old rust bucket moving. One round one image, coming up:



Now mong the shit out of it. Visual/conceptual links please. You will be marked on skill, invention, wit, and originality. This image is 800 x 600 pixels, as should yours be (although obviously feel free to change the orientation)

Your three days starts ...now![nb]Now, from when this was posted, not from when you first read it, sorry.[/nb]

[Repentia]

First to attempt the chicane, check out these curves:

[Cerys]

Damn you for messing with my Timewarp idea.

[Big Jack McBastard]

_{Apologies for the edit I promise it was a minor tweek.}

[Big Jack McBastard]

The more I see Repentia's one the more I like it.

[Repentia]

I paid you £10, I expect more than just one line of typing.

This is going to be like the cake debacle from last year, I can feel it.

[Zero Gravitas]

fuckitpost.

[DocDaneeka]

[Cerys]

Awesome.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

[small_world]

InB4 the deadline... Just.

Lessons learnt during my first real monging. Save often. And learn how to size... Fuck

[Lyndon]

[DocDaneeka]

Hah! Nice one.

Is round one over then?

[Zero Gravitas]

That's seemingly it, LMC can gain an enemy for life any time he likes.

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Results are in.



Repentia - A Dr. Frank-Ein-Stein's monster of a mong, featuring excellent use of the Cerne Abbas giant, which - apart from the fact that I love that the ancient 'chalk figure' is now being drawn on a blackboard - is incorporated well with the shadow of the sleeve. Good monging, basically, with plus points for featuring a big stiff willy.




Cerys - Playing the playing card card, I see - glad to see someone completely recontextualise the central image and change the orientation (and indeed the shape). Good use of what us seasoned Jalopyists call the 'Tessellated Einstein', a skilful move which - in this case - makes the 20th Century's greatest genius look like he's wearing a cloak made of himself.




Big Jack McBastard - again, nicely recontextualised and reformatted image - I love that you've used Einstein's "shit, rumbled" expression to good effect, capturing him in the spotlight during another of his illicit apian graffiti sessions for which he is so rightly not famous.




Zero Gravitas - nope, I don't get it. Again, I like that Einstein is reduced to no more than a toilet wall graffitist, but having looked up 'Wein Law' I'm none the wiser as to the meaning of the piece. I'm assuming it's Wien's displacement law to which you're referring¹, and while I can accept that your misspelling was perhaps a reference to Einstein's notoriously poor academic performance at school, I can't find anything which would excuse the dodgy blurring of the background, the use of an off-the-shelf font or the - let's be honest - lack of effort on display here. I wouldn't complain, it's just... this is Zero Gravitas here, and I expect something as gorgeous as the man himself. I am, of course, willing (indeed, expecting) to accept that it's something too clever for me that's gone over my head.

_{^{1Wien's displacement law states that the wavelength distribution of thermal radiation from a black body at any temperature has essentially the same shape as the distribution at any other temperature, except that each wavelength is displaced on the graph. Apart from an overall T3 multiplicative factor, the average thermal energy in each mode with frequency ν only depends on the ratio ν/T. Restated in terms of the wavelength λ = c/ν, the distributions at corresponding wavelengths are related, where corresponding wavelengths are at locations proportional to 1/T.}}




Ah, DocDaneeka - this is how it's done! This shows that, with inventiveness and skill, apparently minimal changes (same layout, orientation, etc.) to the original image can be very effective. Obviously the use of your own drawing/lettering is impressive, but crucially the content is funny (and topical!). The suggestion of Einstein-as-Emmett Brown, sympathiser with distant future sexists, is irresistible. And perhaps, who knows, not far from the truth.




Depressed Beyond Tables - again, Einstein's facial expression (like we've just walked in on him getting up to something naughty) is highlighted and enhanced by the fact that what we've just walked in on is cinema's most famous murder. Naughty Albert! Good reuse of the pose from the source image, but I'll also say, sorry to be anal here, 800 x 600 pixels in future please x




small_world - ah, the old Bob Ross / René Artois / Obama Unicorn / Four Lions / nutty room manoeuvre (a 'number 17' as it's known in the biz). Fucking bonkers. I like it!




Lyndon - a motivational poster. And what obviously motivates the poster artist in this case is to imagine one of the planet's greatest and cleverest men - a man whose name has come to mean 'genius' - as a swivel-eyed, shit-smearing jelly-brain. And why not? From an aesthetic point of view, the brown adds some much needed colour to the piece.



And that's it, round one. I think you know what way this is going. Don't think just because you sweetly started the thread you'll get a free pass. I'm afraid Zero Gravitas's (possibly sacrificial) piece - apparently and appropriately titled 'fuckitpost.' - gets him the boot this time. Learn from his mistakes, remainders! I'll post the next image here, soon, probably.

[Zero Gravitas]

I'm going to stick pins in a little doll of you.

If my thinking is correct LMC will post another image in the near future and then we both get the--hopefully somewhat trickier--task of removing a player each?

[Lookalike Mark Chapman]

Yes, in round two we'll see all the images then both knock one out.

[momatt]

Yes, in round two we'll see all the images then both knock one out.

FNARR FNARR!
Nice mongs lads, thanks for making me larf.  Look forward to the rest.