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Terrible album covers

Started by Subtle Mocking, February 11, 2011, 04:05:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

23 Daves

This is my slightly rubbish camera shot of the album in question, so please pardon the quality (but you're not missing much):



Silly idea, rubbish contents, slapdash sleeve.  The strapline title across the top actually is askew, and it's not the fault of my picture-taking abilities.  The soldier on the front is apparently mounted on a horse called Thor, in case you were wondering.



Helping small children... working with dogs... car chases... and brass bands!  Dull it isn't, all right!

Johnny Townmouse

Quote from: Johnny Yesno on February 15, 2011, 05:05:18 PM
Reason to think the 80s weren't so bad, surely!

There was a LOT of greatness in the 80s, most of it very formative, but as a whole I hated the worst parts of the decade. Goth has its moments but as a rule it is quite shite.

Quote
Fair enough. But the sleeve represents Fire in Cairo, doesn't it?

Yes! Gah, that's what I meant...

QuoteAagh! Not Pornography as well! I like its blurryness and I'm not a hipster AFAIK.

I'm generally not a fan of the band photo blurred out on covers, and some of my favourite albums feature it (My Bloody Valentine for instance).

Doomy Dwyer



Not quite sure what ol' Hoyt's up to here. Should this go in the excellent thread? Is he cool?

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: Johnny Townmouse on February 15, 2011, 09:27:24 PM
I'm generally not a fan of the band photo blurred out on covers, and some of my favourite albums feature it (My Bloody Valentine for instance).

:D Originally my previous post said something along the lines of "But people like My Bloody Valentine had blurred out band photos!"


DJ One Record

Surprised that Serge hasn't posted this one yet:


Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Doomy Dwyer on February 15, 2011, 09:34:21 PM


Not quite sure what ol' Hoyt's up to here. Should this go in the excellent thread? Is he cool?
That is a brilliant album cover.


Subtle Mocking


Melodichaze

Seconded on Hoyt Axton - he *is* cool :D...

Adding to the naff collection:
Jim O'Rourke is a bad egg...



Andrew WK -I get wet



New Pornographers was rather perturbing due to the goat watching on....




The most horror/nausea inducing cover I have ever seen is by Necrobios ....seriously...I can't even bring myself to link it because everytime I see it I recoil in disgust :(
Most of the pornogrind genre is filled with massively distasteful album covers, but Necrobios makes me want to bleach-wash my brain.


Doomy Dwyer

#101
I used to work in a bookshop that sold shonky knock off water damaged CD's as a loss making sideline. You've got to move with the times, give the punters what they want. There were always titles like 'James Brown Live at the Croydon Playhouse 1992', 'Now That is Music 4' or 'Dana sings the Hits of the Beatles. Live'. But hidden amidst the racks of dank smelling affronts to popular music there occasionally lurked the odd shiny gem. I was very excited to find this one fine, fine day -



Scholars of the blues will undoubtedly be as excited as I was to gaze upon this cover. Famously, there are only two photographs of Robert Johnson extant. Neither of which are the one above. The others show a man who may well have recently sold his soul to the devil in return for the gift of mastery of his chosen instrument. A gift that would of course bring down dire consequences upon its recipient.  I can only surmise that I have stumbled across the 'before' shot. That happy, smiling face, the laughing eyes, the smart Nelson style hat, how differently this mans life may have turned out had not vanity laid him low.

Look upon his face, 'whores. Be careful what you wish for.

Melodichaze, I've just googled Necrobius you evil bastard. Put me right off my muesli.

Pepotamo1985


Pepotamo1985

And BOY do R.E.M. run a monopoly on shit, boring album covers...













(Crying out for waxwork mong)




ThickAndCreamy

Quote from: Doomy Dwyer on February 15, 2011, 10:22:43 AM


Diabolical sixth form shit from front cover to final note. Go back and do it again.
Mercury Rev have a wide selection of quite terrible covers, Yerself is Steam and Boces especially.

Despite being a huge fan I haven't even bothered to listen to The Secret Migration. All is Dream just made me feel angry at how such a beautiful, experimental and glorious band could create such simple, boring pop. The run from Yerself is Steam to Deserters Songs however is still phenomenal, from crazy paranoia to hazy ecstasy. It's a shame what they've become.

Serge

Quote from: Doomy Dwyer on February 17, 2011, 10:20:58 AM
I used to work in a bookshop that sold shonky knock off water damaged CD's as a loss making sideline. You've got to move with the times, give the punters what they want. There were always titles like 'James Brown Live at the Croydon Playhouse 1992', 'Now That is Music 4' or 'Dana sings the Hits of the Beatles. Live'. But hidden amidst the racks of dank smelling affronts to popular music there occasionally lurked the odd shiny gem. I was very excited to find this one fine, fine day -


That is a fucking classic. Though it would be good if they did find a third picture of Robert Johnson giving the thumbs up or something.

I used to work in a remainder bookshop which sold a lot of those cheapo CDs. Occasionally some 'real' CDs would turn up - for some reason about half a dozen of John Coltrane's Impulse! albums were in there, which I hungrily snapped up, but mostly, it was just cheap knock-off crap. One which bothered me in particular was a dodgy Miles Davis CD which was so poorly put together as to have a picture of, er, Charlie Parker on the cover. What that says about the designers of that cover I wouldn't like to say...

Quote from: Pepotamo1985 on February 17, 2011, 02:59:01 PM
And BOY do R.E.M. run a monopoly on shit, boring album covers...

All of those, with the except of the last, are perfectly good album covers.

Pepotamo1985

Well, it's my opinion I suppose.

I mean, is Out of Time really a perfectly good album cover?

El Unicornio, mang

The only shit one is Around the Sun, and possibly New Adventures. Out of Time has a lovely cover.

chand

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on February 17, 2011, 05:40:02 PM
The only shit one is Around the Sun, and possibly New Adventures. Out of Time has a lovely cover.

Out Of Time's is shit. Just a big flag logo that looks like it was designed by someone who was already thinking about the t-shirts.

El Unicornio, mang

Well it's one of my favourites, so nerrr

BlodwynPig

I hope that necrobius cover is photoshopped, otherwise I'm calling the pigs!

Melodichaze

I did forewarn people and deliberately not include a link/pic...it's too much.

Quote from: BlodwynPig on February 17, 2011, 06:11:35 PM
I hope that necrobius cover is photoshopped, otherwise I'm calling the pigs!

I think they're already part of it judging by the cover content *shudder*



Great band and all, but what the hell were they thinking of with this one?

Dusty Gozongas

12" singles okay? (I'm neither btw)



Most fascinating fact about the band: They changed their name name slightly for the U.S. market so as to not be confused with Toto.

Famous Mortimer

The multi-racial makeup of that band is the thing that's annoying you, yes?

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: xxxx xxx x xxx on February 17, 2011, 10:05:59 PM


Great band and all, but what the hell were they thinking of with this one?

I actually quite like that one too...I don't know, the pleb in me has a place in his diseased, black heart for self-consciously, determinedly 'retro' designs like that. It's a really bold typeface and a simplistic but reasonably striking pattern and colour scheme...what's not to like?

Pepotamo1985

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on February 17, 2011, 05:48:55 PM
Well it's one of my favourites, so nerrr

Really?

It's just so dull...a dull logo on a big patch of yellow, superimposed on a field. I suppose it's perfectly evocative of the banality contained therein, but...blah.

It's not horrible in the way that most of the typical 'AWFUL ALBUM COVERS LOL' are, but still, like I said, it's still shit and boring.

Anyway, let's agree to disagree, and mutually revel in the utter abortion that is Iron Maiden's Dance of the Dead cover;



Wow, where to start? Well the dancer on the right's bizarre neck maybe? How anyone thought that this looked even slightly good is beyond me - that CGI even looked shit at the time. And this from a band whose awful music has been housed in some of the greatest album sleeves ever.

Crabwalk

Stereolab do not deserve a place in this thread! Their artwork was consistently excellent despite releasing a record every other week for nigh-on 20 years.

Now for the band with perhaps the widest gap in quality between their musical output and artwork:




NoSleep

1970s budget double LP of Beefheart's two albums, Lick My Decals Off, Baby & Spotlight Kid: