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Bizarre Crimes

Started by 2 Light Ales Please, February 13, 2011, 10:16:34 PM

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2 Light Ales Please

Has anyone here committed an unusual crime at some point in their life?

Mine was that I once threw a slice of pizza at the Queen[nb]Well, she was in a car at the time, but the sentiment is the same.[/nb] as she passed me in Cambridge.  Although the many police officers present didn't witness me commit the crime/act, I was spotted by an old woman who promptly pointed me out to them. Rather than run away, I decided that the best thing to do would be to lean on a lamppost and act all cool.  The police promptly grabbed me and paraded me around to cries of "he should be shot!" before searching me, putting me in the van and escorting me to custody.

What criminal oddities have you been involved in/witnessed? Let's share.

Depressed Beyond Tables

All the crimes I've committed have been your regular run-of-the-mill crimes. Stealing flour etc.

2 Light Ales Please

To be honest, I'd consider stealing flour to be a bit odd at the very least.

Where you desperate to get your hands on some gear in the midst of a baking addiction?

biggytitbo

I once hosed down Wincy Willis at a barndance.

And threw a puppy at some hell's angels.

Depressed Beyond Tables

Quote from: 2 Light Ales Please on February 13, 2011, 10:24:11 PM
Where you desperate to get your hands on some gear in the midst of a baking addiction?

I was bored, hungry and underpaid. Plus, stealing makes me horny.

What would you do?

uglybob1986

I once stole something like thisfrom some roadworks. In my defence, your honour, I was completely pissed

biggytitbo

Quote from: uglybob1986 on February 13, 2011, 10:34:33 PM
I once stole something like thisfrom some roadworks. In my defence, your honour, I was completely pissed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4YSGPFuDmE

small_world

I broke into St James' Park with an accomplice. We too were pissed.
We were caught just after we did a few Klinnsman's on the pitch, but just before we got into the changing rooms. Luckily, or it would have been theft and not trespassing we would have been done for. We would have took something from the trophy cabinet, but...
Plod rushed to the scene, a call over the police radio in Newcastle, relating to a break in at St James' brought almost every police car racing to the scene. With around 50 police officers outside we were spoken to by a lovely couple of officers who preceded to embarrass us. And then let us go.

Cerys

I aided and abetted a bunch of my housemates in stealing one of these:



and then painting one of these on it:



before putting it back some time later.

2 Light Ales Please

This is the kind of co-operation and thinking we need in the Big Society!

AsparagusTrevor

Once, when quite drunk and stoned, me and some friends relocated a pub beer garden to someone's back garden, table by table, parasols and all. The house we chose was, for some reason, about a mile away and it took about four trips to get it done. We even stole a sandwich board from outside the pub which said 'beer garden at back' and stuck it outside the house.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I once glued the lock of a bowling green shut. But only once I knew every single member of the club was a cunt.

small_world

I've just realised my MOT certificate expired three and a bit months ago.... Not really a 'bizarre' crime, but odd that it totally slipped my mind. They should really send out cunting reminders though, lucky I haven't been imprisoned in the tower, or whatever they do to rapscallions these days.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: small_world on February 15, 2011, 07:21:43 PMI've just realised my MOT certificate expired three and a bit months ago.... Not really a 'bizarre' crime, but odd that it totally slipped my mind. They should really send out cunting reminders though, lucky I haven't been imprisoned in the tower, or whatever they do to rapscallions these days.
Last year I managed to forget mine, it was due in December and I didn't remember about it til May. It did have a good benefit of changing the time to a less skint one so I've more chance of affording all the tyres and breakpads I usually end up needing to pass.