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Games that you absolutely despised

Started by Subtle Mocking, February 27, 2011, 08:27:53 PM

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Subtle Mocking

Now, I know I've been doing a few of these worst (x) threads recently, and you're probably not fans of the hyperbolic 'so-and-so is the worst (x) of all time,' but I like hearing about bad experiences with gaming. There's often those games that you pick up and play for a while, and genuinely make you quite miserable.

After a quick visit to my local Gamestation this weekend, I was reminded of one of those experiences.


I (stupidly) bought this game after being a huge fan of the book and then the film. I hadn't read any of the reviews for the game and didn't even know the game was out until I stumbled into HMV and saw it on the shelves. Somehow my love of the book and film justified the price tag of £39.99, so I went over to the counter, bought the game and rushed home to play it.

What a fucking shambles of a game.

You can complete the story mode in about half an hour. The voiceovers are done by shitty soundalikes. You get to fight in the most bizarrely conceived places, and fights usually last about a minute at the most. My memory isn't great but I'm sure I remember one of the unlockable items was being able to play as Fred Durst. It was all a fairly compelling argument for why movie-games should never be made. I went all the way back to the town centre to trade in the game, and they offered me a measly £20 for it. So not only was it an utterly horrible game, in the space of 4 hours it's value had decreased by 50%. A part of me died that day.

In summary, Fight Club was a shite game. Share your experiences.

Still Not George

It was a movie tie-in. Never ever play movie tie-ins. Basic gamer savvy.

Mister Six

Unless it's the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade adventure game.

Consignia

Quote from: Mister Six on February 27, 2011, 08:42:04 PM
Unless it's the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade adventure game.

Meh, even then it's one of the worst Lucasarts adventure games.

Mister Six

Really? I think it stands up rather well. Fate of Atlantis, however, has aged incredibly badly. And at least it's not The Dig.

Jemble Fred

Quote from: Still Not George on February 27, 2011, 08:37:58 PM
It was a movie tie-in. Never ever play movie tie-ins. Basic gamer savvy.

Toy Story 3 was a blast. Well.... comparatively.

An tSaoi

Someone bought me Ico, and it irritated me no end. I've since heard it described as one of the best games ever and "a work of art", but at the time I thought it was the worst thing I'd ever played. It's one of those games where every bridge is broken and every ledge is just a little too high, so you have to wander around every room for hours looking for another way round. On top of that, you have to take this stupid ghost girl by the hand, who rather than helping, just slows you right down and makes everything twice as difficult. There are also these ghost flying around, and all you have to fend them off with is a stick. Argh!

Eventually I just gave up. Maybe I just don't like those sorts of games (recently, Drake's Uncharted and Dante's Inferno had a similar effect on me). No buildings can be that difficult to navigate. How did the people who made them get in and out?

Jemble Fred

And of course there's the Xbox 360 collection's equivalent of a Jim Davidson video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxiPEVDqv7A

Shoot those ass bandits and try not to get caught in the fucking walls!

Consignia

Quote from: Mister Six on February 27, 2011, 08:56:41 PM
Really? I think it stands up rather well. Fate of Atlantis, however, has aged incredibly badly. And at least it's not The Dig.

Well, Fate of Atlantis is one of my favourite games ever, which has never dulled on a single replay for me, so I'm going to be biased there. I still don't rate Last Crusade particularly highly, because it's full of instant death and IIRC obtuse puzzles.

Big Jack McBastard

Terminator Salvation was a crock of shite which I played all the way through, during that time I was exposed to:

  • Shoddy second rate graphics.
  • Piss poor fights and set-pieces.
  • Crappy, vapid dialogue.
  • Boring procedural missions.
  • 4 types of enemies for the whole game.
  • About 7 hours in length total.

Luckily I only paid £4 for it secondhand and I wasn't expecting much in the first place, but it really was tat.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I'm going to be mean to some racing games, as it strikes me there's less excuse for them to be shite.

Colin McRae Rally. First three of them are shite and feel like the car's constantly mounted on ice rather than in contact with the ground.

Driver 2. Well what a bag of shite

Toca Race Driver. What a pointless shite idea.

Total Immersion Racing. Totally shite racing.

Need For Speed Underground. The most overowned piece of shite in recent memory. Total utter shite.





Mister Six

Quote from: Big Jack McBastard on February 27, 2011, 09:39:28 PM
Terminator Salvation was a crock of shite which I played all the way through

How/why did you play all the way through? Jesus, it was awful. Amazed at how small the play areas were, despite the PS2-standard graphics. The engine must have been a complete piece of shit.

mobias

On the subject of bad racing games I'll nominate the game Baja Edge of Control as one of the worst if not thee worst games I've ever spent good money on. I can appreciate no one actually sets out to deliberately make a bad game but it is truly and utterly appalling. Considering its a current generation game it looks like a last generation game given a high definition make over. Infact it doesn't even look very high definition. The driving physics are terrible, the graphics are terrible and the gameplay is terrible. Its just all TERRIBLE!

I like a good racing game and the Motorstorm series has really set the bar high this gen for arcade racing mayhem. Its fine for other games companies to come along and think they can have a shot at a similar-ish idea but I don't see why they even bother if they can't come remotely close to achieving the production qualities of whatever game they're trying to emulate.   

mcbpete

Quote from: An tSaoi on February 27, 2011, 09:12:23 PM
Someone bought me Ico, and it irritated me no end. I've since heard it described as one of the best games ever and "a work of art", but at the time I thought it was the worst thing I'd ever played. It's one of those games where every bridge is broken and every ledge is just a little too high, so you have to wander around every room for hours looking for another way round. On top of that, you have to take this stupid ghost girl by the hand, who rather than helping, just slows you right down and makes everything twice as difficult. There are also these ghost flying around, and all you have to fend them off with is a stick. Argh!
Burn him, he's a witch !

Still Not George

Quote from: mobias on February 27, 2011, 10:07:52 PM
On the subject of bad racing games I'll nominate the game Baja Edge of Control as one of the worst if not thee worst games I've ever spent good money on. I can appreciate no one actually sets out to deliberately make a bad game but it is truly and utterly appalling. Considering its a current generation game it looks like a last generation game given a high definition make over. Infact it doesn't even look very high definition. The driving physics are terrible, the graphics are terrible and the gameplay is terrible. Its just all TERRIBLE!
I could tell you some stories about that one, but I'm not sure how legal they'd be.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Ah, I've thought of a prime example



THE SIMS



THE FUCKING SIMS


And weirdly enough I exclude the very first one. Literally everything after it can go on a huge ferry to Valparaiso and get fucking sunk along the way.

Desi Rascal

 Maelstrom, awful voice acting terrible dull cutscenes with inappropriate animations dull be zzzzz

MaelStrom game play 01

mobias

Quote from: Still Not George on February 27, 2011, 11:47:11 PM
I could tell you some stories about that one, but I'm not sure how legal they'd be.

Oh go on. I'd love to hear. You don't have to mention names.

A.A

Myst.

Just no.

Return to Zork would have been more despicable if it hadn't been so gosh darn hilarious.

"Want some rye? Course you do."


Incidentally, I'd love to hear some made-up stories about a fictional game, perhaps from the racing genre - anyone able to dream something up?

SavageHedgehog

I remember hating this game as a kid:

Which I feel kind of bad about now, as it was a present from my uncle and probably quite expensive. And probably actually quite a good game, it just didn't feature enough platforms for me.

All those Leisure Suit Larry games where he's replaced by "his younger nephew" are bullshit! I'm sure the originals are nothing great either, but I do still want to play Love For Sail one of these days

Still Not George

Suffice to say that an end-of-generation PS2 project with a very similar name for the exact same people definitely didn't fall apart about 5 years ago, and that the handling of that game wasn't remotely similar to a game called "Wedge of Un-Troll", and that the terrain graphics weren't pretty much dead on the same too, with the only real difference being the car visuals (and the helicopter, which is kinda cool but totally worthless in gameplay terms). None of that happened.

In short, the people in question definitely didn't sue for breach of contract then walk off with the code and slap it out on the 360 years later. At all.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Ghost Recon

I CANT CONTROL TWO TEAMS IN TWO DIFFERENT PLACES HOW DOES IT WORK HOW IS THIS FUN ARRRRRGGGGHHH OH GAME OVER AGAIN I SEE

madhair60

Halo.  Characterless load of auld erse.

NoSleep

On Ico:

Quote from: An tSaoi on February 27, 2011, 09:12:23 PM
...There are also these ghost flying around, and all you have to fend them off with is a stick. Argh!

Eventually I just gave up....

You actually didn't play very far into the game if all you ended up with was a stick. And it's not very hard at all, even with the stick. It was one of the shortest games I've played (and played again - with the subtitles "extra"). But it was definitely one that I would rate amongst the best.

Yes. Let's burn him.

Zetetic

Starcraft [2]
All the mechanics of rock-paper-scissors, yet lacking the charm, intrigue and intricate plotting of the game.

Still Not George

Quote from: madhair60 on February 28, 2011, 01:57:43 PM
Halo.  Characterless load of auld erse.
Completely and utterly agreed.

"Hey look I'm a space marine with a gun woooooo originality!"

"OMG guys look it's a vehicle we've never seen those before"


Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quote from: NoSleep on February 28, 2011, 02:35:30 PM
On Ico:

You actually didn't play very far into the game if all you ended up with was a stick. And it's not very hard at all, even with the stick. It was one of the shortest games I've played (and played again - with the subtitles "extra"). But it was definitely one that I would rate amongst the best.

Yes. Let's burn him.
Yes, burn him!

(Because everyone knows that Shadow of the Colossus is the shit one of that series.)

Quote from: Still Not George on February 27, 2011, 08:37:58 PM
It was a movie tie-in. Never ever play movie tie-ins. Basic gamer savvy.
Except for Goldeneye 64 and Spider-Man 2.

Treguard of Dunshelm

X3. After several people I know raving about it, I downloaded it recently expecting some space-trading goodness and mein Gott it is Scheiße. Admittedly it's a few years old now, but it has an asinine plot, boring combat, crap trading and one of the most punchable leads in existence. I'm sticking to Oolite man, at least there's no whiny american teens there.