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Games that you absolutely despised

Started by Subtle Mocking, February 27, 2011, 08:27:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mister Six

Quote from: Brigadier Pompous on March 01, 2011, 01:14:50 PM
Half Life 2

A boring, near-plotless on rails generic FPS that would have been largely (and justly!) ignored if it wasn't called half life 2.

YES.

That is all.[nb]That is not all: I will say that there was a lot of excellent work done on the world-building and atmosphere. But the rest of it is SUPER MEDIOCRE.[/nb]

Mister Six

Quote from: madhair60 on March 01, 2011, 09:23:30 PM
Nah, it was bobbins, that.  Hated it.  Aladdin is ace, though I'd say it was one of the last good ones.  After all, the BEST GAME EVER Castle of Illusion (Master System) had come and gone, as had several sequels.

Master System version?


madhair60

Nah bro, it's the better version, great level design.  Besides, I went from Master System to PS2 with no console in between, I was fucking deprived.

madhair60

Quote from: Still Not George on March 01, 2011, 11:33:19 AM
What, a complete idiot?

Actually, there should me more videos of people being completely useless at games, it's kinda funny to watch.

madhair60: filling gaps in the market since 1987

http://www.youtube.com/user/madhair60#p/u/43/8Dp16mFXNPw

Fry

Quote from: Mister Six on March 02, 2011, 12:12:38 AM
YES.

That is all.[nb]That is not all: I will say that there was a lot of excellent work done on the world-building and atmosphere. But the rest of it is SUPER MEDIOCRE.[/nb]

Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope times a million. Fucking Half Life 2, man? Fucking, going into ravenholm for the first time, getting that gravity gun, finally being able to bring the fucking noise to whatever is stupid enough to get all up in this theoretical physicists' grill. Nah man, that game was ace.



"Sorry I was trying to save the world but I got distracted by Alyx's CHOICE ASS "

FartOnMyBalls

I always try to give games a fair chance, especially when bought for me by a relative, but the 10 year old me found this to be an unplayable piece of shit

madhair60

Quote from: Fry on March 02, 2011, 06:55:06 PM"Sorry I was trying to save the world but I got distracted by Alyx's CHOICE ASS"

And with that SBaHJ reference, you and I are bros forever

Phil_A



I loved the original Alundra, it was a Zelda clone that did nearly everything right. The sequel, however, does everything wrong. It's an awkward, poorly designed, ugly, frustrating bastard of a game, with character models so poorly designed it's enough to make your eyes bleed.

Fry

Quote from: madhair60 on March 02, 2011, 07:53:52 PM
And with that SBaHJ reference, you and I are bros forever

Bro fist Bunp.

madhair60

the bro ruse was... A DISTACTION

i HAVE the car

etc

etc

til death

I'll tell you what was a big lot of shit: FRONTIER. Fucking hated it. Yes, the space battles were infinitely more realistic than in Elite -- but were they fun? NO THEY WERE RUBBISH. Christmas Day 1993 was a day of disappointment chez chops.

Mister Six

Quote from: waste of chops on March 03, 2011, 12:41:04 AM
I'll tell you what was a big lot of shit: FRONTIER. Fucking hated it. Yes, the space battles were infinitely more realistic than in Elite -- but were they fun? NO THEY WERE RUBBISH. Christmas Day 1993 was a day of disappointment chez chops.

Yeah, there's a really snide bit in the manual where it jokes about how lesser games (ie. Elite) would let spaceships fly around like aeroplanes instead of forcing them to counter their velocity with thruster blasts in the opposite direction. And all I could think was, 'Not lesser games - fun games.'

NoSleep

Quote from: Mister Six on March 03, 2011, 10:14:19 AM
Yeah, there's a really snide bit in the manual where it jokes about how lesser games (ie. Elite) would let spaceships fly around like aeroplanes instead of forcing them to counter their velocity with thruster blasts in the opposite direction. And all I could think was, 'Not lesser games - fun games.'

It only makes the ships in Frontier more primitive than those in Elite, rather than have any bearing on which is the lesser of the two games.

Mister Six

I'd say that buggering up the space combat with needless 'realism' definitely makes it a lesser game.

Cerys


Big Jack McBastard

Rouge Warrior, much like Terminator Salvation in the sheer lack of effort put forth but with Mickey Rourke growling out many more 'fucks' 'fuckin'', 'cocksucker, motherfuckers', 'sick my dick you ruskie fucks'. In every fuckin' line in the goddamn-piece-of-shit motherfuckin' game.

Shonk is what it was, pure and simple.

Bethesda were taking the piss with this one and no mistake, it's linear as is humanly possible, you do scant but kill, kill, kill utterly inept alternately weak as kittens/'6 head shots and they're still coming' fuckin' commie bastards while being a unlikable foulmouthed cunt from start to finish. Thankfully that lasts all of a few hours of 'gameplay', which was it's one redeeming feature considering it wasn't even worth one playthrough. The chopped up multiplayer isn't even worth mentioning, who want's to play a game where the overriding atmosphere amongst the players is buyers remorse? Which it bloody well would have been if you shelled out more than a fiver, nevermind the brazen £40 it was on release.

I keep seeing a spate of weird, shoddy looking simulator games being released for the PC of late 'Forklift Truck Simulator'[nb]Cool name bro, though if there were races through crowded city centers that might perk it up a bit[/nb] was the one that stuck in my head but plenty of other unimaginative titles like 'Driving Simulator' or 'UK Truck Simulator', 'Ship Simulator', 'Farming Simulator', 'Bus Driver', 'Rail Traffic Control Simulator'[nb]be still my beating heart[/nb] and the like. When I see these titles I think, quite understandably: 'Who the fuck makes or buys these things?' 'How on earth do they expect to make a profit?'. The lack of effort is right there on the box, same font, same shitty picture style, same total lack of interest, same inevitable bargain-bin destination.

I've not played a single one of those titles, but I can make a reasonably informed supposition that they deserve far more in the way of sales and kudos than Rouge Warrior ever received. Anyone giving it more than a 2/10 would be have to have been bribed and a 2/10 would be generous at that.

A company that's likely to blow several million pairs of socks clean off their owners with Skyrim in November should not have birthed this monstrosity, it's just wrong.

chand

Quote from: SavageHedgehog on February 28, 2011, 09:47:04 AM
I remember hating this game as a kid:

Which I feel kind of bad about now, as it was a present from my uncle and probably quite expensive. And probably actually quite a good game, it just didn't feature enough platforms for me.

It was bollocks. Total bollocks. I was desperate to love it, I liked the idea of a Mega Drive FPS, and it was actually really ambitious (it had stealth elements and hacking things and a veneer of role-playing progression) but it was pish. The levels were just endless white columns with empty floors, it was a bitch to aim at anything, and you'd quite often find yourself completely lost because everywhere looked the same.

chand

Quote from: mobias on February 28, 2011, 06:07:31 PM
There are some games that are absolutely adored by people that I despise simply because I think they're hugely over rated and I wish people would just shut up about them. The Uncharted franchise on the PS3 is one of them. Uncharted 2 is an incredible game on some levels but it's simply not an absolute peak of video gaming genius and originality and I wish people would stop talking about it like it is. Some people go on about it like it redefines gaming like GTAIII did last gen. I mean fuck off - why? Simply because Sony have poured millions into making it a flagship PS3 game? 

I've never heard anyone claim that UC2 is original. It's not. What it does is combines a load of elements that have been done before into a cohesive whole that's fun to play (your mileage may vary) with high production values, a straightforward but engaging story, lush environments and so on. People praised it because it was a polished, enjoyable game that played like a kind of interactive Indiana Jones movie.

Famous Mortimer

Frontier is maybe the most disappointed I've ever been with a game, as an Elite obsessive I was really looking forward to it, but...it was no fun to play at all, and the combat seemed to me to be pretty much impossible. Fuck that game.

In terms of TV tie-ins, "Prison Break" was astonishingly wank.

Gulftastic

Another vote for Halo here. When I bought my Xbox, it was bundled with Halo and Midtown Madness 3. The rep was bigging up Halo like it was the second coming of gaming. I got bored of it within two days, whilst Midtown Madness was played until I had unlocked virtually everything the game had to offer.

My 9 year old nephew loved Halo however, but when we got Halo 2, he finished it within a week, and now uses it as his benchmark for shit games.

Consignia

Similarly, when I got my 360, I picked up a bargain bundle with Gears of War, Crackdown and Blue Dragon. I bought it mainly because it was the same price as Blue Dragon on it's own. I gave both Gears of War and Crackdown a go but I found both really quite tedious to play. I wasn't ever going to like the ultra machoness of Gears of War, but Crackdown was a real disappointment after all the good things I heard. I wouldn't say I despise either of them, and good luck to those that enjoy them, but both left an extremely sour taste in my mouth.

Little Hoover



I knew I wouldn't like it, but I felt I had to give it a go out of curiosity because it's like the PS3's biggest exclusive man. Well people are fucking insane, this is the dullest FPS with the most tedious environments and level design I've seen in a game. I cannot remember a single thing about the character you control. As I recall he's not actually a mute like Gordon Freeman, but he somehow manages to have far less character. There's some other guys who are on your team who are dicks. I was waiting for the twist where it's reveled that you're actually the bad guys. I read something about a history of Killzone where it effectively says that that's true, but it's not incorporated into the game. It's wank fodder for 10 year old boys. Which'd be fine if it weren't also hailed as some incredible technical achievement.

Jobey



No one can understand just how bad this game was unless they subject themselves to it's onslaught.
As a die hard fan of the series I felt compelled to see it through.
The worst 6 hours of my life.

jimmymckooel

#83
Fortunately I've never played a game I've despised. Mainly because I always read the reviews first.  Splinter Cell Double Agent sucked on the 360 though, why was the Xbox 1 version better?  To the guy who said the Sims, did you know if you invite everybody round for a party, delete the doors so no one can escape and set fireworks off in the house you can kill them all? 


Goldentony

Quote from: DJ Solid Snail on March 01, 2011, 11:52:08 AM
The Blade Runner game is utterly superb. And The Thing is not incredible, but certainly decent. Oh and Toy Story for the MegaDrive (though I will admit my preference there is quite possibly clouded with nostalgia).

I hated this game purely for the reason that it took a ridiculous 20 minutes or so to save (and possibly to load) and when it did it took up all 15 blocks on the PlayStation's memory card:



The game simply wasn't good enough to justify all the wasted time. I mean, no other PSX game did that, did it? How could they have possibly managed it?!

The best part of this game was the weird trip hop song that played over the entire thing that was, for some reason, mashed up to feature some bog standard northern footy manager guy going WE GONNAH GO OUT THERE THIS SEASON AN' NOT LOSE ONE PIGGIN' MATCH!! as if Baz Lhurman had got Ron Atkinson in to perform Suncreen or something. Other than that aye, it was total dogshit and was only remotely fun when you got bored and put match tickets up to £90 and sold everyone remotely competent to Scunthorpe

chand

Quote from: Jobey on April 11, 2011, 01:03:20 PM


No one can understand just how bad this game was unless they subject themselves to it's onslaught.
As a die hard fan of the series I felt compelled to see it through.
The worst 6 hours of my life.

Even the cover looks like it was mocked up in five minutes by someone in H.S. Art.

My nomination:



Bought this shortly after I got a PS3, as there weren't many FPSs out at the time aside from the first Resistance. It starts out in a fairly mediocre way, environments a bit drab and brown, but a fairly functional shooter. Then a short way in it gives you control of all the characters in the squad amd the ability to switch between them. At this point it all goes to shit. You get the ability ro revive your squad mates, and you start to need it ALL THE FUCKING TIME. The AI of your squad is completely broken. From this point on, pretty much all you do is revive fallen squad members as they stand cluelessly in the open taking bullets smack in the face. I gave up on Jericho during a battle where I'd spent several minutes in the middle of a pitched battle literally not firing a single shot, just running back and forth between stricken comrades to press a button and stave off the Game Over screen a few more seconds.

jimmymckooel

Oh wait...I got one!  Soldier of Fortune 2 on the 360.  I played it on the pc, fantastic game...the 360 version was shite.  Virtually no A.I, the guns were not quite the same and it wasn't as gory.  It was so boring and the PC version was so good. 

A friend of mine said that Superman Returns was a huge letdown.

Big Jack McBastard

Oh god yeah Jericho was dogrot, or as you rightly say, turned into it after about half an hour. Bottlenecks of ruthlessly efficient slaughter for your team of inept fuckwits to wade into and die stupidly was the order of the day, which was precisely how long it lasted in my 360.