Embarrassing self-inflicted accidental injuries

[Hairy Chin]

I injured my mouth on wednesday night.

, I put the coat hanger with the suit on in my mouth for a second  

I've injured my mouth doing that before, and to think I thought I was the only one stupid enough to do it.

No, we're both thickos. inventive and resourceful ones though.

[gazzyk1ns]

b) Whilst stoned I knocked my watch off my bedside table. Reaching down to get it I fell, with my nose smashing into the aforementioned table. There was a hell of a lot of blood, but I was laughing so much that it didn't hurt. I got three friends out of bed just to see my blood. They laughed too.

Hehe I've done a bit of a similar thing, when I was half-asleep, I went to "roll a bit further over" in my bed because I was uncomfortable. Unfortunately I was already "over" as far as I could be, and facebutted the wall.

[Hairy Chin]

When I was house-sitting a few months back. my alarm went off at 4:30 one Saturdy morning to get my up for work. I woke up, unbeknowing to me, I was perched on my side, on the very edge of the mattress. I went to roll on my back and reach out to hit the alarm button and instantly ran out of bed - my legs somehow swung round first, so i fell out and landed bang on my arse on the floor - but in doing so, instinctively leaned back towards the bed as I was falling out, scraping from the small of my back up to just below the shoulders. I just sat there slightly dazed at first for a split second, just before the pain started setting in. It kept building up - eventually I lwet out an angry and pissed off "ARGHH!" as I punched the floor - must've woken next door up.

I had a huge red scrape mark down my back for the next two days and it bloody hurt.

[Hairy Chin]

Gazzyk1ns reminded me of my bed mishap, and his 'facebutted the wall' line reminded me of another painful incident.

When I was younger, I was at the LazerQuest thing in Swansea, as it was celled then. It was one of those places you paid a few quid to go on with a pack on your front and back and these IR lazer guns, and you had to run round this darkened place shooting everybody else and aboid getting shot at yourself - great fun.

Once you get zapped by an opponent, your gun and pack becomes inactive for 10 seconds, so you can't shoot or be shot at - so you just leg it while you can. I got zapped and was legging it down this pitch dark gangway, looking behind me to see if I was followed (as some bastards do - they shoot you, then follow you so they can get you again as soon as the pack becomes active); then I looked back in front, JUST as I turned to face forward, I ran into a wall! I think I ended up fallen on my arse then too - but everything was painted black in there, so I didn't see it! It fucking hurt too, and it really pissed me off.

[Morrisfan82]

When I first got my sampler I had had to shift a load of stuff round to accomodate it (for those not familiar with the size of 2U rackmount stuff, imagine an early-80's video recorder and you're pretty much there). My desk had to go sideways in the alcove where I do all my evil bidding, to make way for two metal shelf units which I had bolted together to house the beast [the sampler].

As a result the aforementioned desk now jutted out so there was only a small space twixt it and the end of my bed.

Fast forward about three weeks, I was lying on my stomach upon my bed, probably doing some colouring-in or some other activity I've just made up for a throwaway laugh, when I thought 'hmm, I think I'll go and grab a drink from downstairs'. So I slid my feet off the end of the bed and hoisted myself up, press-ups style, and

SSKKKRRRRRRRAPE

The waistline of my flimsy 'house-shorts' (you know what I'm talkin about guys) yielded to the pointy chipboard corner of my MFI desk, and thanks to the upwards motion of my thirsting arse, directly gouged a two-inch valley of flesh out of my right ass cheek. I yelled out in agony and confusion and collapsed face-down onto my bed, clutching my sliced starboard buttock tightly. The gash was pissing with blood, and when the pain had lowered to a sufficient level that I got my eyesight back, I looked round to notice that a small percentage of my own personal bum flesh was hanging off the sharp corner, curled like a sliver of fresh orange zest.

The mark was visible for months. Suffice to say I got out the wood plane and rounded that motherfucker off that same day. The desk, I mean.

[gazzyk1ns]

Hehe I just remembered the most basic of embarrassing injuries which happened to me... I was walking along on the pavement and approaching a mate's house. I'd not planned on calling for him, but I was now thinking about it... would he be in? I looked at his windows to see if I could spot any telltale signs. Not having made up my mind, I turned my head back to face forwards and walked into a lamp post. My face did hit it but that didn't hurt... as I was walking, I really 'thrust' my knee right into it, I couldn't walk pain-free for days.

[butnut]

The mark was visible for months. Suffice to say I got out the wood plane and rounded that motherfucker off that same day. The desk, I mean.

Thank god you added that last sentence - otherwise it was a sure contender for the 'filthy' thread.