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Your absolute least favourite song

Started by Jumble Cashback, April 13, 2011, 01:29:40 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Neville Chamberlain

Simply Red's Fairgound is probably the most teeth-grindingly cringeworthy musical atrocity I've ever encountered!

Quote from: Utter Shit on April 13, 2011, 04:36:35 PM
I would nominate 'Get Right' by Jennifer Lopez.

Haha, I'd never heard that before but...fuck me. How could the producer not get onto the fact that the sax 'riff' features no discernible melody? It's so incredibly irritating. Just imagine working back over that track for a couple of weeks! Maybe at that point, your brain becomes desensitised to sound.


Edit: Melth, great call on 'Alcoholic'. So good that that band simply doesn't register or exist any more. The world is better and better.

Big Jack McBastard

..and another from me, The Streets 'Dry your eyes mate' bleh.

The amount of praise heaped on it was utterly disproportionate and smacked very much of "Oh the scum do have souls! To think we crossed the road to avoid those drunken mobs of knife wielding scratters, shame on us!".

I'll go one further and say every song I've heard of theirs sounds terrible.

rjd2

When they were a poor man's J5/ Dilated Peoples they were mildy tolerable, Joints and Jam is fucking savage, but everything since then has been cancer. Honestly I change my mind daily on what their worse work is, I Got A Feeling depressed so much, but despite its undoubted wank, this is their Auschwitz.

Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)



This also deserves nothing but pure contempt and proves that Fergie has no artistic worth at all.

Fergie - London Bridge (HD)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

'I'm Every Woman'

No, you're not. You're one fucking annoying woman.

small_world

What the fuck are you all talking about?
The majority of the songs mentioned here are excellent. Baby Cakes is one of my favourites. The B*witched one and the Depp Blue Something songs are also excellent.
And fucking hell, Livin' on a Prayer... What's wrong with you people? Are you just naming music you've heard?

Oh, god that Bohemian Rhapsody is sooo unoriginal. And that Stairway to Heaven, bleugh...

Big Jack McBastard

#36
QuoteBlack Eyed Peas - The Time

Oh god.. first time I've ever heard that, why did I listen to it? It was like an audio trainwreck, none of it fits together.

Ugh.

Edit:
QuoteFergie - London Bridge

Terrible, just terrible, this is exactly what would happen if you gave some random ASBO scumbag 5 million quid and told them to make a music video.

Double ugh.

derek stitt

Quote from: CaledonianGonzo on April 13, 2011, 06:18:28 PM
Oi! Loleatta Holloway's only been dead a couple of weeks!

Did not know that. Sorry for her passing. Apologies for the banshee reference its quite distasteful in hindsight but again I didn't know.


Nah, fuck that dead witch. Ride On Time is an abomination. I'm totally with you.

The 'gotta get up' bit is probably my least favourite though, even worse than the wails. In fact, no. The whole thing is a really nasty patchwork of nasty samples.

NASTAY

Pseudopath

Quote from: The Boston Crab on April 13, 2011, 07:57:31 PM
Nah, fuck that dead witch. Ride On Time is an abomination. I'm totally with you.

The 'gotta get up' bit is probably my least favourite though, even worse than the wails. In fact, no. The whole thing is a really nasty patchwork of nasty samples.

NASTAY

And it knocked Jive Bunny off the top of the charts. Bastards.

Although The Mastermixers returned the favour 6 weeks later.

Subtle Mocking

Jive Bunny just reminded me of the number 1 reviews on freakytrigger.co.uk, where I was reminded of this abomination:

Hale And Pace And The Stonkers: The Stonk

If Peter Kay happens to be reading this thread, I take back anything negative I ever said about your Comic Relief singles. All is forgiven. It's been a long time since I've got to the first minute of the song and wanted to shout "MAKE IT STOP" at the top of my voice, but this has succeeded. Comedy rock'n'roll hits a real nerve for me and I really don't know why. I always liked the Chuckle Brothers but my god is this unbearable:

ChuckleVision as you'd never believe!

Neville Chamberlain

The problem here is that we're letting the genuine musical criminals - i.e. Oasis, Coldplay, Keane and their ilk, basically the oh-so-serious cunts who think they're the second-coming yet singularly fail to back this up by producing an endless stream of bland, uninspired shit - off the hook by nominating the odd crappy-but-harmless novelty song or throwaway, balls-to-the-ground soft-rock 'anthems'. I can tell you, something like Fake Plastic Trees has inspired more hatred in me than any Ride on Time ever could!

Subtle Mocking

One of Radiohead's better songs? I would've agreed if you'd said No Surprises or Karma Police. I'd reckon it was even easier to nominate yer Keanes and Coldplays and Snow Patrols than it was to nominate a shitty novelty song. But, in any case, fuck this song:

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

Top comment on that video, you ask?
Quote428 People Don't Chase Cars......They Get Hit By Them, And The Fuckin Desreve It.
Consider me put in my place.

ziggy starbucks

I tried to help someone set up their system for hosting cab radio, and for about 45 minutes I was subjected to Battles' Atlas being played continuously. I learned to despise it and its stupid fucking vocals and its crappy intro which in essence goes on for 4 long minutes with sod all variation. The song captures perfectly the sound in your head when you have a severe migraine. I don't like it one bit.

and Lady Marmalade its just awful and gets worse with each and every cover version. In the year 3000, there will be a cover version of the song that is so bad it will cause the extinction of our species

Neville Chamberlain

Actually, I think I meant No Surprises <big blushy icon>

I still hate Fake Plastic Trees. In fact, I'd even go so far as to call it Fuck Plastic Trees, that's how much I hate it!!!!!

Depressed Beyond Tables

The Thrills - One Horse Town.

An exercise in how not to write a song.

Muel 2

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on April 13, 2011, 08:25:35 PM
The problem here is that we're letting the genuine musical criminals - i.e. Oasis, Coldplay, Keane and their ilk, basically the oh-so-serious cunts who think they're the second-coming yet singularly fail to back this up by producing an endless stream of bland, uninspired shit - off the hook by nominating the odd crappy-but-harmless novelty song or throwaway, balls-to-the-ground soft-rock 'anthems'. I can tell you, something like Fake Plastic Trees has inspired more hatred in me than any Ride on Time ever could!

Just the sort of thing I was going to post (although a bit odd to lump Radiohead in with the blandiites above). 

holyzombiejesus

Lonely by Akon, without a shadow of a doubt.

I fucking loathe this song. I work in a children's home and when it was in the charts or whatever, the kids used to play it constantly. I mean constantly. They'd have it on repeat in their bedrooms and go off to school, leaving it on. Every trip out in the van, every time I had to take them somewhere on the bus, even when we were on our way to meetings, this fucking atrocity would be playing, via phone, CD player, whatever, accompanied by the kids' atonal caterwauling. The worst bit was when it became apparent just how much I hated it. Of a Saturday morning, a member of staff usually supervises the upstairs of the building (where the kids' bedrooms are). The children would normally tidy their rooms, watch TV and generally relax in their rooms, whilst the staff member would sit on the landing, in the middle of the (nine) bedrooms and do paperwork. On this Saturday, the kids knew that I was the one on the landing so, 'hilariously',  all decided to play the song, on repeat, as loudly as possible, for about 3 hours. No wonder their parents beat them.

Retinend

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on April 13, 2011, 06:47:57 PM
The "No Way No Way" from above (my least favourite song of the 90s) has to bow down to this fucking atrocity:

3 Of A Kind - Babycakes

No.1 in the pop charts. A nothing song, with tunelessness elevated to an art form.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN... yeah... yeah this wins. Fuck. I mean. What?


rjd2

Agreed, Lonely is just awful.


I remember a few years ago my neighbors who were scumbags and probably dealing used to consistently play James Blunt " You're Beautiful" for hours every evening. I know that may sound like hyperbole but it wasn't sadly. They obviously bought the album with their drug money as sometimes they would play other tracks on repeat but You're Beautiful was their favorite.

The song itself is awful and is doomed by the dreadful opening line " My Life Is Brillant, My Love Is Pure!" and after that he warbles a song which refused to fuck off for ages.

That JCB song was also awful as well, I remember everyone saying how moving and heartfelt it was and all that jazz and been really interested to hear it. Richard Madeley literally broke down while describing its impact on him, but alas it three minutes of charmless maudlin shit.

easytarget

I know Nickelback are a safe, obvious choice but "Rock Star" seals my opinion of them as over-confident, swaggering RAWK, rapist/bros. If some pricks were to write a song, this is the song they would write:
"well we all just wanna be big rockstars, and live in hillltop houses driving fifteen cars"

Die.

BTW: Nothing wrong with 4 Non Blondes What's Up? - in the video SHE WORE GOGGLES ON HER HAT!

I miss the 1990s.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: ziggy starbucks on April 13, 2011, 08:38:55 PM
I tried to help someone set up their system for hosting cab radio, and for about 45 minutes I was subjected to Battles' Atlas being played continuously. I learned to despise it and its stupid fucking vocals and its crappy intro which in essence goes on for 4 long minutes with sod all variation.
Whoops, that was me. Sorry ziggy.


Icehaven

Red Alert by Basement Jaxx. The reasons are manifold but mainly boil down to the fact that I just cannot stand the sound of it, the 'alarm' sound effects are a vacuum of musicality, the singing is like having the rug that you're standing on pulled backwards and forwards unil you fall over and smash your head on the coffee table, and this very annoying girl I went to 6th form with said it was her favourite contemporary tune, and she was the opposite of everything good. 
And that recent folky one that goes ''and I blah blah blah, let love in, and my heart said blah, something or other...'', by Mumford and Sons. Bloody awful. I get this image of a group of people in knitwear sitting laughing by a fire in a pub every time I hear it, the light from the fire gleaming through their glasses of ale and mulled wine, and that that's entirely intentional so that lots of people bought the (massively over hyped and over advertised) album that it's from as a failsafe Christmas present for people whose musical taste they don't really understand. They sang the above line to the staff in HMV, wrote it down then bought it from Tesco.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on April 13, 2011, 06:47:57 PM
The "No Way No Way" from above (my least favourite song of the 90s) has to bow down to this fucking atrocity:

3 Of A Kind - Babycakes

No.1 in the pop charts. A nothing song, with tunelessness elevated to an art form.

Now you see I like both of those singles. Vanilla remind me of some dumb early Eighties girly pop and 3 Of A Kind has a catchy chorus (and a nice pervy promo).

I nominate Life by Desree. Puke inducing. Oh, and Didn't We Almost Have It All too.

I like most of these songs. Breakfast at Tiffany's and Bingo are two of my favourite songs ever. It doesn't matter though because even when I don't mind a song such as Beyonce's Single Ladies (partly because it reminds me of wanking over the sexy newsreaders for children in need [nb]It's easier to get sponsorship for drowning in beans.[/nb]) An tSaoi's description of the song and his hatred is excellent. My housemate moved out recently. The best part of this is that I won't have to hear this song every day any more. I hated it the first time I heard it but now I want to kill everybody in Sons of Mumford starting with the singer.

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

Famous Mortimer

I'm a little baffled by the sudden upswell of Three of a Kind love, but so be it :)

Actually, I can at least laugh at those songs. I think pretty much the entire recorded output of Richard Ashcroft is enough to make me want to scratch my ears out. Fucking plodding boring music, inexplicably feted as some sort of genius.

Give me something - anything - with a bit of life to it, compared to this. Heck, I'd much rather listen to "Put A Donk On It" than "Urban Hymns" (one of the world's wankest album titles).

Neville Chamberlain

Oh god, yes, Richard Ashcroft is just truly, truly awful beyond all measure.

Retinend

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on April 14, 2011, 11:06:35 AMActually, I can at least laugh at those songs. I think pretty much the entire recorded output of Richard Ashcroft is enough to make me want to scratch my ears out. Fucking plodding boring music, inexplicably feted as some sort of genius.
Quote from: Smeraldina Rima on April 14, 2011, 02:41:33 AMI want to kill everybody in Sons of Mumford starting with the singer.

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

Yeah. Truthfully, it's far more annoying when an artist has seemingly recognized (or just absorbed) the kinds of tricks, lyrics, bells and whistles that impress broadsheet journalists, and sing with what sounds vaguely like passion on songs that have don't have any soul whatsoever. Both of these are great examples. Mumford and Sons are the fucking pits. The pitchfork review of their album says everything I dislike about them, though, so I'll just post that link (again): http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/13906-sigh-no-more/

Babycakes is barely a song, but at least you can laugh at how annoying it is, whereas Little Lion Man is both annoying and somehow dishonest... or at best, deluded to its own worth

Doomy Dwyer

I was just writing a tirade about the Verve. I'm always suspicious of bands/artistes constantly telling their humble audience about how much soul and passion they've got, just in case their audience is too dull witted to figure it out for themselves. Which would probably be the case for Verves fanbase. Small town music for small town minds sung by a man whose mind is busy pondering which smart new set of loafers to purchase next. Noel Gallagher wrote that song about him, pointing out that he was so insubstantial he had cast no shadow didn't he? Uncharacteristically perceptive of Noel that. Nice one. Top one.