Weirdest Present

[Marcus Or Relius]

My brother went a bit loopey at Uni. Well, so he said anyway, I reckon he was just boasting.

He was caught shoplifting Vodka from Tescos and came up with a fantastic plan to get off scot-free - pretend to me mad! Hurrah for madness! He was so good at being nuts that he was stuck in a psychiatric ward for a few days (he said it was great: "There was this spikey-haired nutter who was really hyperactive, just like Brad Pitt in "Twelve Monkeys". he was a right larff!") and apparantly the prescription he was given (but didn't bother to take) provided him with an ace last-minute-prezzie pour moi.

T'was my 23rd birthday, and I wasn't surprised that my git of  a younger brother had seemingly forgotten again. However, that evening, he stumbled past me and said "Happy birthday dude" and gave me a couple of sachets of Prozac that the "looney bin" had given him as a parting gift. I said "Thanks" and took the fuckers, but felt no effects whatsoever. Maybe t'was cos there were only 12 of them and you need a hundred to get a really good buzz. I dunno.

Anyway, has anyone else had a weirder present from a family member - Christmas, birthday, hanukah, etc - than a load of prescription anti-depressants?

[Bill Oddie]

Prozac works by inhibiting the reabsorbtion of certain "happy chemicals" that your brain creates itself, so you have to take a sustained dose over a long period, trying to get high off it wont work no matter how many you pop at once.


Anyway, everytime anyone I know buys me a birthday present etc it is either:


1) A toy duck
2) A representation of a duck in non-toy form.

I often walk into my bedroom and think "What raging homo's room is this?".

Ahh well...

[DonkeyRods]

I got given a sock full of bunsen burners once

[Dr David V]

At the age of 12 my auntie got me a Barney The Dinosaur puppet-making set. Now I'm not usually the ungreatful type, but that was just stupid of her. Barney's one of those things for the under 5s, isn't it? I may have been 12, but I had a sense of dignity. I accepted my gifts, and subsequently threw it away. I should have asked for the receipt, but I was only 12. So I've just contradicted myself. Oh well.

Oh look, a thing for resealing wine! That'll come in very handy. Thank you!

[Marcus Or Relius]

Prozac works by inhibiting the reabsorbtion of certain "happy chemicals" that your brain creates itself, so you have to take a sustained dose over a long period, trying to get high off it wont work no matter how many you pop at once.

No, Prozac works by showing dumb rich people stupid .gifs in order to get them to cough up lots of money in the hope that they'll never realize that the best treatment for depression is to just go out and take out your post-modern angst by stabbing to death some tramps.

[blue jammer]

Might not sound like the weirdest of presents, but at around 5 or 6 my Uncle, bought me a kite. This was no small kite, but a full sized huge beast of thing, that we took out on a day trip to the moors :|

Once there, after struggling to get the thing assembled and 'up' (ooerr) my Uncle and Dad had to both take control of it, as when my Uncle got it in the air, it lifted him up with it!!!

Barking mad, but one of those presents that I think only had an 'outing' twice.

[Spaced Cadet]

When I was about 7 my aunt and uncle bought me a scientific calculator and protractor set. What kind of present is that for a 7 year old. I went on to become incredibly dull and get very low grades in GSCE maths.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

My sister and I get each other tacky presents wherever we go. When I was in St. Omer last year, I spotted a plastic grnade filled full of candy, and just couldn't resist. And then to counter it, she got my a mobile phone that chuntered italian and made weird noises...again filled full with candy.

A recent example was my sisters trip to Leeds, which resulted in me receiving a Harvey Nichols gingerbread man wrapped in plastic.

I got my dad a cd by The Coral, and I think he was a bit weirded out by that.

[weekender]

There's a shop over the road from my workplace called 'Rebecca and Iris's' which sells a remarkable amount of rubbish.  Of course, we at work use this place to buy each other birthday presents.  So over the years, people on our team have been the grateful recipients of the following gifts:

*A shoehorn-cum-backrub ("I know, if we put a plastic hand on a stick on the end of this shoehorn, it can also be used as a backrub!")

*A broken alarm clock which obviously cannot be repaired (why was this on sale?)

*A half-empty bottle of wine (someone had obviously opened it, decided that they didn't like it and put the cork back in.  Either Rebecca or Iris had decided that this would be a perfect item to sell)

So you can imagine my delight upon my birthday last year when I received the following gift:

A box (which, incidentally, had been opened and resealed with parcel tape) of Russian Tampons.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

I once got a balaclava for Christmas from a slightly eccentric aunt when I was 18.  Not one of those whereby there is a hole cut out so you can see a person's whole face, rather one where only the eyes and mouth have been cut out (i.e a full-on IRA job).  My home town is the home of the British Army.  Needless to say it didn't get worn much.

[Capuchin]

My first girlfriend made me a papier-maché life sized arse for my birthday 8 or so years back.
Just the tops of the thighs and the arse.
She was a bit arty.

[blue jammer]

My first girlfriend made me a papier-maché life sized arse for my birthday 8 or so years back.
Just the tops of the thighs and the arse.
She was a bit arty.

DId you not ask for more the next year?

(you can see where I'm going with this can't you) :)

[twatloops]

I received a box of tissues and a bottle of lime cordial from an Aunt one Christmas.  Oddly enough, I was single at the time so I guess she thought I may need to rehydrate myself after filling the kleenex...

[Capuchin]

My first girlfriend made me a papier-maché life sized arse for my birthday 8 or so years back.
Just the tops of the thighs and the arse.
She was a bit arty.

DId you not ask for more the next year?

(you can see where I'm going with this can't you) :)

Unfortunately she dumped me before my next birthday so I never got my completed Stepford Wife...

[imitationleather]

Pah, I read this thread as 'Weirdest President'. Now that sounds like a thread and a half...

[kenneth trousers]

A friend of mine got a shoe shine kit from his dad for his 18th birthday.

[twatloops]

A friend of mine got a shoe shine kit from his dad for his 18th birthday.

That just reminded me; my dad bought me a zippo for my 18th with a 3d effect case that had a macho biker tearing open his shirt to show his harley tattoo above his six pack.  Lovely.  When I ribbed him about it just before Christmas, he decided to go and buy me antoerh identical one.  Class dad, that man.

[Unhappydisgustingwow]

When I was younger my mental nan bought my brother a double pack of Asda chocolate chip cookies for christmas. She wrapped them up and everything. Bless.

[Sherringford Hovis]

My ever-loving parents got me suitcases for my 18th birthday.
I took the hint.

[butnut]

Pah, I read this thread as 'Weirdest President'. Now that sounds like a thread and a half...

Take the Quiz, sonny

[Cerys]

I couldn't think of a weirdest present ... until I remembered the pair of Boddington's Gold boxer shorts some mates gave me for my birthday about eight years ago.  I still have them, and occasionally wear them.  Hmmm.

[Ronster]

A mate of mine went to his girlfriends parents for christmas and they hadn't been expecting him so when it came time for her to get her pressies there was suddenyl a couple for him which looked hastily wrapped and they had splashed out and given him a half used bic biro and a wodden spoon from the kitchen

[Capuchin]

Surely it would have been better if they didn't bother?

[gazzyk1ns]

My mum once received a packet of 100 Tesco value disposable napkins from her employer. What goes through some people's heads?

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

I want to knowmore about how to act mental. What was your brother's routine Marcus? what happened? surely your parents were called etc.

I once recieved a porcelain pig for holding razors. You knew because while decorated delicately and painted with flowers, it had RAZORS painted in black across it.,